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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18 year old taking 12 year old on 4 trains aibu?

403 replies

lilypoppet · 21/08/2018 20:36

Without asking me,.my DH, Mil and 18 year old daughter have organised for the 18 year old to take my 12 year old daughter to Lincolnshire on their own. We live on West Sussex. This involves a long journey of 4 trains, including underground across London. I must stress DH isn't.going with them and I have not.been asked. I don't even know which station they'll.be picked up from. I have been given no information. They have already bought the tickets. What can I do?

OP posts:
FuckPants · 21/08/2018 21:22

Go with them because an 18 yo really shouldn't be left in charge of a 12 yo in this country!

What about all the under 18's who have kids you idiot?

getoffthathistoricrelic · 21/08/2018 21:22

My 18 year old DD has just interrailed for a month around Europe. What on earth do you think could happen. I am a super worrier but they will be fine.

MissLingoss · 21/08/2018 21:23

I was hoping to do the London but with them but they've arranged it when I am at work.

From Chichester surely you come into Victoria, then it's a direct journey to KX on the Victoria Line. Why would you need to do that with them?

Original poster
lilypoppet · 21/08/2018 21:23

They were both born and bred I. London so tube journeys are normal for them. It is the tube bit that scares me most.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 21/08/2018 21:23

I'm with Reastie. Blush But that's just because I want a voice in the arrangements, not because I'd veto the journey.

INeedNewShoes · 21/08/2018 21:25

On my brother's 18th birthday he took me to London from the North of England for an event I had to attend. I was 13. This journey involved 2 trains then the tube and a walk in central London.

This was before mobile phones were in common usage so my mum presumably couldn't check up on us.

We lived to tell the tale and my only regret is that we wasted his birthday doing this! He did celebrate properly on another day.

wentmadinthecountry · 21/08/2018 21:25

Soydora Willow2017 obviously sarcasm is no longer allowed on mumsnet.

My dd3 at 12 was flying to the other end of the country to visit her 18yo sister at university. At 13 she took the train after school, crossing London and then catching another up North. Dd2 intercepted said train at York to meet her sister after a party otherwise dd3 had a plan to contact one of dd2's friends so she didn't arrive in Newcastle alone.

OP, make your children independent. They'll be fine.

PieAndPumpkins · 21/08/2018 21:26

Is there a reason you don't trust your 18 year old?

ReservoirDogs · 21/08/2018 21:26

My 16 year old just came home on a log haul flight and then got a National Express coach to our home town. I am sure an adult will be able to take a pre-teen on a few trains

wentmadinthecountry · 21/08/2018 21:27

And FuckPants my dd1 did 3 months alone in SE Asia at 18, having previously been to Malawi without me. Sorry you took me at my word.

ReservoirDogs · 21/08/2018 21:29

Also at 17 I left my parents home in the USA and travelled 3,000 miles to live by myself and start a job.

BertrandRussell · 21/08/2018 21:31

Sort of assuming there must be a backstory?

SinglePringle · 21/08/2018 21:32

What is it about the tune that scares you?

scrumplepaper · 21/08/2018 21:34

They will be fine.

Stillnotready · 21/08/2018 21:35

What is that scares you?

Original poster
lilypoppet · 21/08/2018 21:36

The 18 year old is very sensible, but I think a 12 year old on such a long journey is a.big responsibility. What if they get separated? I can't tell you how scared of the tube I am. I'd have preferred it if the grandma was picking them up at Doncaster rather than making them go on the extra trains.

OP posts:
puffyisgood · 21/08/2018 21:36

yabvu.

SoyDora · 21/08/2018 21:38

Why are you scared of the tube?
Is the 12 year old able to follow basic instructions?

FuckPants · 21/08/2018 21:39

Sorry wentmadinthecountry Blush

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 21/08/2018 21:39

OP I say this kindly. Get a grip! At 17 I took a 6 and 10 year old into London and then on to Scotland. They weren't even my kids! Their mum was a friend of mine and due to a long series of unfortunate events, she had to go two days earlier than the kids. Being their regular babysitter, I stayed with them for two days and a night then took them up to Scotland to meet up with her. It was absolutely fine. The 18 year old is an adult and the 12 year old is hardly a child. They'll be grand.

BertrandRussell · 21/08/2018 21:39

Lily- honestly, it'll be fine. You know you're being silly, don't you?

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2018 21:40

Do they both have phones? If they get separated they'll use them to reunite. If they get separated on the tube they can meet at Kings Cross.

I don't know why they would though? I have never been separated from people I have travelled with on the tube even after 8 pints

Stillnotready · 21/08/2018 21:41

So, you talk through what to do if they get split up, route planned and written down, phones charged, approach a member of staff for help, but ultimately stick together.

Slimtimeagain · 21/08/2018 21:42

Don't let your anxiety over trains rub off on them. Give the 12 year old a phone. If they get lost. They call each other. Simple. A child is aged 12 in first and second year of secondary school. I was getting myself to school then. I'd be happy with the 12 year old travelling alone really.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 21/08/2018 21:42

What if they get separated?

Well, they both have phones, I'll be bound, so they'll call each other and arrange how to re-connect. How would they even get separated? It just wouldn't happen. People don't randomly get separated on trains. Why are you so worried about the tube?

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