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Original poster

To think I have a spunking ghost?!

296 replies

Chipshopninja · 20/08/2018 15:18

Of all the problems to have...

Last night DP woke up around 1am because he heard our bedroom door open (it's a squeaky bugger, need some WD40 but that's by the by)
He didn't get up, expecting our nocturnal ds to tap him on the shoulder announcing he had had a bad dream etc....but nothing! He then heard the bedroom door close.

He got out of bed and went to check on DS.

Just outside our bedroom door he stepped in a large wet patch (which, in a very un-DP fashion he later cleaned up) he checked on our DS, fast asleep all tucked in under his duvet.

He then went downstairs to check on the dog, fast asleep in the living room. So slightly bemused he came back to bed.

He relayed all this to me this morning...I say spunking ghost...anyone else like to hazard a guess?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
TattyFrench · 22/08/2018 21:58

Torn those posters are amazing!! Can I commission one for my DS?

Sorry for derail Chips. Maybe your ghost is taking a shower and standing in a puddle rather than pleasuring his spectral self.

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 21:59

drop me a line... will see what can be done

TattyFrench · 22/08/2018 22:06

Thank you.

SmileyTee123 · 22/08/2018 22:11

When there's something weird,
In your neighbourhood,
Who you gonna call?
Ghost spunkers

Vitalogy · 22/08/2018 22:26

I missed a trick though. Thought about it after I posted, I usually do! I should have done a out before the 'up'

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 22:28

I have no idea. I can't think that far back.

But a poster? depends, really does. 20 minutes to a couple of hours depends on how serious it is!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 22:31

Torn, you have even exceeded yourself. and I didn't think that was possible. Those pictures are incredible (genuinely). Is the second one all your own work?

OR - OMG, OMG, OMG... Chips are you on this? - did you commission an actual real live spunking ghost????????

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 22:33

Don't

Vitalogy · 22/08/2018 22:35
Grin

20 minute at least, right. Too much for a thread really.

Don't give your art away Torn

Vitalogy · 22/08/2018 22:41

** You groupie you Smile I am too Grin

WontBeUsingPassMyParcelAgain · 22/08/2018 22:46

Hang on.. Has no-one addressed another key question? Chips is married and does not know what spunk smells of? How can this be?!

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 22:47

Cos the smell of a bumhole is stronger

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 23:01

Yuk, Torn. As if this thread wasn't bumping along the bottom enough - it's about a WANKING GHOST ffs - you had to take it to an even lower level!

CatOwned · 22/08/2018 23:01

You gotta know what spunk smells like, OP... for science.

TattyFrench · 22/08/2018 23:03

Spunk small of the sea, doesn't it? A bit. Although I'm casting my mind back about 8,000 years there.

There's nothing good about bum holes - wasn't there a thread about him hole whitening? Different world.

TattyFrench · 22/08/2018 23:06

But even if ghosts could wank (not a sentence I ever thought I'd type) there wouldn't be any sperm? If there was sperm the ghost could re-produce. But would they have baby babies or baby ghosts?

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 23:09

I have Luke Skywalker, some 1950's gospel singers, a beach and semen all on my mind right now. Is it any wonder I'm messed up?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 23:15

You gotta know what spunk smells like, OP... for science.

AND tastes. You gotta lick the spunk, Chips

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 23:20

It's not a great smell.
It's really not a great taste.

Investigate Southern Comfort instead!

ImAIdoot · 22/08/2018 23:22

Spunk small of the sea, doesn't it?

Somebody's been holidaying in Southend

iloveroastpotatoes · 22/08/2018 23:23

I don't suppose you've checked the attic......Confused

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 23:24

There's a French and Saunders sketch, but I can't remember the details well enough to search for it successfully. Does anyone remember it? They're running a rescue centre, and at one point Dawn French says direct to camera
"Of course, I can identify a dog just by it's faeces"
and then she looks at a pile of shit and says "that's Rex isn't it, that's Rex!" and Jennifer Saunders says
"yes" in a voice and with body language that clearly says "no". And Dawn's all excited "yes, I recognise it, it's definitely Rex" (and she's picked it up by this point and she's waving it around. And as the camera is just panning away from her, she sticks out just the teeniest bit of her tongue from the side of her mouth, and it JUST connects with the poo.

Anyway, I keep thinking about that sketch, and if I had better know-how and searching powers, I'd link it (and inspire our OP. Who is awesome for starting this thread, but a bit lacking in her grit and determination to get to the bottom of it all, as demonstrated by her pointless spunk licking refusals)

ChanklyBore · 22/08/2018 23:34

Cumsnet Shock

So, OP, who’re ya gonna call?

TattyFrench · 22/08/2018 23:36

I hate Southern Comfort

and Wotsits.

Oh, and foam!

And gypsy tart.

I think my list is complete.

Pearl barley.

ImAIdoot · 22/08/2018 23:37

So, OP, who’re ya gonna call?

Nut Busters?