To think I have a spunking ghost?!

[Chipshopninja]

Of all the problems to have...

Last night DP woke up around 1am because he heard our bedroom door open (it's a squeaky bugger, need some WD40 but that's by the by)
He didn't get up, expecting our nocturnal ds to tap him on the shoulder announcing he had had a bad dream etc....but nothing! He then heard the bedroom door close.

He got out of bed and went to check on DS.

Just outside our bedroom door he stepped in a large wet patch (which, in a very un-DP fashion he later cleaned up) he checked on our DS, fast asleep all tucked in under his duvet.

He then went downstairs to check on the dog, fast asleep in the living room. So slightly bemused he came back to bed.

He relayed all this to me this morning...I say spunking ghost...anyone else like to hazard a guess?

What's that tv programme where they go looking for ghosts? Most haunted or something? Maybe you can get them to come and investigate, I'd love to hear the director telling them about the plot for that episode

@Verbena87 you and I have the same sense of humour!

Has anyone got any suggestions as to how, in the absence of Cctv savvy friend, I can track and unmask (in true Scooby doo style) this insatiable ghoul?

Ouija board?? Probably not helpful

I feel a Scooby-Doo confession coming on...
"I would have got away with it if it hadn't been for those pesky kids /goats"

ouija board?

Or a Wee-ja board?

I'd have laughed (a lot) at willy nilly. Infantile humour, that's me!

👻👻👻👻👻

But what if that brings forth something worse?!

The spirit of a fingering monk....or a self abusing demon?!

Heavens no velociraptor ! Imagine the painfully slow unfolding of the ghost’s sleazy comments!! And chipshopninja will feel weirdly violated having to write them out, surely?!

Though I’ve not got a better idea. Something involving a cold shower or a dose of ghostly bromide might deter, but I dunno how to detect. Could you recruit the dog as a Scooby Doo substitute?

Not to worry you OP but a friend of mine had a few years of paranormal happenings at her home and it was often centred around water.
Taps would run by themselves, lightbulbs would unscrew and be found either with water in them or in a puddle on the floor.
Water would appear like foot prints around the house, clothes in drawers would be found wringing wet.
They had plumbers, builders all out to investigate and no leaks were ever found.
They had the typical sounds of footsteps, opening doors and pictures literally jumping off walls.
They took advice and were told to get rid of all the spiritual books etc that they had. It did quieten down but occasionally they still have something happen.

Not sure the dog would be much use in a crisis, he's scared of Christmas trees!

Sorry just to clarify, that was to illustrate what a wuss he is...I don't have a Christmas tree on my landing

Cheesenonion oh crap I wasn't overly worried until now.

wonders if my parents will let me move home

Don't do a Ouija board for God's sake you'll end up with a ghost gang bang on your landing.

Btw this thread is hilarious

Wait, I’ve got it! If the dog’s no good in a crisis you need @saggital ‘s spunking goat! Can we install him on the landing to scare off potentially randy ghost? (Although it doesn’t sound like this will do your already mistreated carpet any favours)

Right I'm off to bed soon. After a to help me sleep without worrying about the resident wanker (not DP)

Tomorrow I will check carpets and report back

Gosh I hope it's not a wool carpet, don't they stain dreadfully...??
I'm sure you could go all CSI in the morning with black lights and stuff. Fair point on the ouija weeja board, that would be the supernatural equivalent of a dirty phone call

You need to do that MN staple and log it with 101

I can track and unmask (in true Scooby doo style) this insatiable ghoul?

Is Scooby Doo style the same as doggy style, but with more rhotacism and scooby snacks?

wonder if ghost spunk would be warm or if it plops out at a ghostly cool temperature?

What have I just read 🤦🏽‍♀️

Poppy I couldn’t help but imagine a sort of frogspawn-esque texture and temperature 🤢

He was just looking for a ghoulfriend.....

I’m now imagining Timothy Claypole shooting one out on your landing OP.

Excellent