To give my DS his sister's room?

[CherryChatsworth]

So, DD is 20 and is about to enter her 2nd year at uni. DS is 11 and about to start secondary

We have a 3 bedroom house and as is normal, DD got the second largest room - us of course having the biggest! DD has the smallest - it's still classed as a double room though but only just.

Anyway it would benefit him to have her bedroom now - we cannot fit a desk and a chair in his room and he's getting to the stage where he will need one at secondary.

I've spoken with DD about this and she's distinctly unimpressed which I expected. She's away for over two thirds of the year at uni but feels she should keep her room. For what it's worth, me popping her in his room would mean her keeping her double bed - I'm not proposing a single

So why would you do? Leave the second largest bedroom in the house empty for the bulk of the year despite being able to put it to good use? Or would you turf her out?

I didn't do it in her first year away but I'd prefer to swap them round

Shan't be forcing anyone to do anything at this point but what do YOU think is reasonable?

Typo! DS has the smallest room!

That’s a bit off. I gave up my room for my younger sister when I left for uni but no one asked me to, I volunteered.

I think it's reasonable to turf her out.
It's silly it being sat unused when someone else could make use of it.

I think it's reasonable to swap, and I would probably have done it last year. He will need a study space next year.

I would definitely let your DS have the room, she can't expect to move out most of the year yet keep her large room unoccupied just for use when she comes back!

Of course it makes sense to switch rooms! He’s there all time and needs a proper desk for homework.

She may not be impressed but she doesn’t actually live with you anymore. Your son does.

I’m slightly biased as I’m from a big family and lost “my room” the weekend I went to uni.

My little sister moved into my room the same night that I left for uni (different country); my room was effectively gone forever the day I left.

I must admit I did feel a bit sad about it, but I think it made sense in terms of best use of the space for the people actually living in my house.

Didn't want to do it last year as didn't want her to feel that ' ooh she's gone now , your brother is in your room' kinda thing

It's reasonable, of course she doesn't like it but she'll get over it

It's reasonable, of course she doesn't like it but she'll get over it

I would give your DS his sisters room she doesn’t need it if she’s away at uni for most of the year.

Of course swap, my brother got my bigger room when I went to uni. She can moan about it if she likes.

Ah but she does live with us though doesn't she? I know she's at uni but her argument is ' I may be back after year 3 '

Eek! Can't wait

I don't think this is reason to ' hold' her room. I'm not proposing the shed - her brothers room is nice - it's just two thirds smaller

I did it with mine. DS went to boarding school at 11 years old. He occupied the second bedroom. Ds2 aged 6 was in the box room. When ds1 went off to school I swopped their rooms over. I couldn't see the point of the big bedroom being empty while little Ds was squished into the box room.

Oh she will moan Katie - it's 'her' room

I swapped rooms with my younger sister after first year of uni. It's only fair really. She has had the biggest room for the past 11 years just by virtue of being the eldest. She would still have a decent bedroom when she is back home. Can you afford to redecorate etc for her to make it feel more like hers?

Why isn't she offering It? I did. All my friends in the same situation with younger siblings gave up their rooms. Why is she not seeing this from your point of view and offering? I'd be decidedly unimpressed with how selfish she seems to be.

My oldest is leaving in 2 weeks and she already knows that her brother will get her room ... it's not much larger, but it is more private and it has a bigger bed. I don't think this is unreasonable at all, especially as I am funding an apartment in Paris where she will be living 10 months of the year.

My oldest is leaving in 2 weeks and she already knows that her brother will get her room ... it's not much larger, but it is more private and it has a bigger bed. I don't think this is unreasonable at all, especially as I am funding an apartment in Paris where she will be living 10 months of the year.

and as is normal, DD got the second largest room

Why do you feel that is 'normal'

Perfectly reasonable and when dss goes to uni dsd will get his room so sge has her own space. Dsd knows that when dss is home she will have to go back to sharing with dd

Nha she’s being unreasonable she’s still got her own space to come back too. I would say to her to swap the week before she goes back tho so her mum isn’t going threw her stuff

I'd swap them.

I'd have done the same as you OP and waited 'till her second year.

Green - rite of passage isn't it? Oldest child gets the biggest bedroom available unless extenuating circumstance

Tough. She's being selfish and her DB should get his turn with the bigger room now that he is at secondary and needs the space. It's not 'her' room - rooms in houses get divvied out according to need and his need is now greater than hers.