What's happened to having a bit of pride in yourself?

[daffodil10]

I am genuinely asking this question out of curiosity not being inflammatory but I will no doubt be accused of this in typical mnet style! Anyway here goes-

I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on.

A) I don't have time as when I get in from work there's stuff to do.
B) why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc. On another note if your bra is so uncomfortable you're wearing the wrong bra!

I feel that wearing make up boosts my self esteem. I put makeup on every day, I feel better for making this effort. If I didn't bother to make this effort I feel depressed.

I completely understand that everyone boosts their self esteem in different ways but I do think that maybe for some people it may help them feel better. I have a friend with severe depression and bi polar condition, her carers insist that she puts her face on everyday. They feel that the effort she takes to beautify and care for herself boosts her self esteem.

No doubt in typical mn style I will be roasted for my opinion again. But then isn't mn full of peoples opinions

Of course you are entitled to your opinion - but can’t you see how you’re OP looked like you boosting your own self esteem at the expense of others - it implied that you think you are sooooo much better than the people who change into their pjs. That is what has hacked people off.

And as someone with depression, can I say that I hope your friend’s careers have listened to her, and they actually know that ‘beautifying herself ‘ (yuck) boosts her self esteem - because I know that, for myself, feeling pressurised by other people to put on make up would make me feel so much worse. I hope they have - but the way you describe it, it does sound as if they have decided for her, and imposed their opinion on her, rather than her having decided herself.

Honestly I think everyone who hates wearing a bra should hasten to the nearest John Lewis or M&S and get fitted properly. They don't need to be uncomfortable! I can't even feel mine when I'm wearing them!

Hahahahaha

Go to M&S to get fitted properly - are you having a laugh?!

They do the +4/5 method - so everyone gets measured and fitted with the wrong size

They told me I was a 34b. I'm a 28D!

Jesus can't say anything right tonight. No the carers haven't decided for her - she is a lady who has always liked wearing makeup and putting make up on. She has told them it makes her feel better.

OP, what is your life like? It baffles me that you equate people relaxing in their own him with not taking pride?!

I get up at 6am, workout, dress up/do hair:makeup, do the school run, work all day full-time, do after school clubs and classes run for my D.C...then I get home, shower, put on PJs, contacts out glasses on, hair in a bun. It’s called comfort and relaxation.

What do you do? Curious,

own home

Hoping you’re not one of those uptight souls who never lets your DH see you without three inches of foundation and Spanx on 😫

Responding purely to the original op - I have a large chest for my frame. Taking my bra off at the end of a 10 hour working day is a blessed relief. How does that impact anybody else?

I get up at 5 or 6 am work outside on the farm feeding cattle etc. I come in feed kids, shower change into work clothes and makeup! Do School run, go to work. Come home, change into jeans still with make up on. Ferry kids about, go outside to feed and check animals. Cook, iron or housework. Put kids to bed, watch tv for an hour, go to bed

I cannot be arsed to read anymore than the first page but I will say that I find life MUCH more comfortable in a bra. I can’t think of anything worse when I get home than whipping my bra off. I have thought about buying a soft bra to wear in my sleep. I do not enjoy my breasts dangling about.
I do however put my pjs on in the winter...I don’t think it has anything to do with pride in yourself. I wear full make up to work, make an effort with my outfit and hair. Why should I have to make any effort behind closed doors.

I love getting home and taking my bra off and getting my pjs on. I can see where you are coming from but it's not for everyone. I'm currently on Mat leave and every morning I have to shower and get my full face on, it's my way of keeping myself together and not getting down.

I opened your OP expecting to be agreeing with you, assuming you were unimpressed with the number of women in the supermarket in their pjs. I tend to look fairly polished outside my home.
But inside the house, a different matter entirely, I like nothing more than slabbing around in trakkie bottoms so YABU.

I'm not wearing decent clothes in the house. Between the pets, the DC, and the amazing amount of slime that has materialised over the summer anything I wear indoors is something I don't care about getting stained, snagged or covered in fur.

And I do have a bit of pride in myself, that's why I want to wear nice, clean, tidy clothing when I'm out of the house

I get up at 5 or 6 am work outside on the farm feeding cattle etc. I come in feed kids, shower change into work clothes and makeup! Do School run, go to work. Come home, change into jeans still with make up on. Ferry kids about, go outside to feed and check animals. Cook, iron or housework. Put kids to bed, watch tv for an hour, go to bed

Good for you. Do you want a medal?

Other people get up, get dressed, go to work, come home and if staying home get changed into something they feel more comfortable in (trackies, pj’s). Some women even take their make up off when they get home if they wear it at all as they feel it’s better for their skin. Why do you give such a rats what anyone else does? You are obviously happy with your routine which works for you so why not just crack on with that and leave others to theirs?

"change into jeans still with make up on."

Nope don't need a medal
From you or anyone else ! If you read the thread you'll see that 3trestroi asked out of curiosity!

I completely understand that everyone boosts their self esteem in different ways but I do think that maybe for some people it may help them feel better.

Sure. And I think if you'd said that in your OP, as opposed to I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on... I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc you'd have got very different responses.

Empress I agree that my op was worded badly.

I disagree that some of the responses wouldn't have been the same.

I also realise that in mumsnet world it's not possible to climb down from your original post and change your mind without continued pulling apart

Darlings. How do you even manage to stay warm wearing your pyjamas in winter?.. Our house, even with central heating on, had one room with +13C last winter, we thought the home brew beer won't develop!
I had to wear 3 thin pure wool jumpers and get warm by doing housework. You, pyjama crew, must be a hardy lot!

So OP puts on a face of make up to boost her self esteem. That's not pride...That's insecurity. Baffling to then come and try and put others down just because they want to get comfy after work.

Bloody sounds like you need better heating system. Oh and fleece jammies!

"I completely understand that everyone boosts their self esteem in different ways but I do think that maybe for some people it may help them feel better"

No problem with agreeing with this completely reworded take, which is certainly very different from your OP. As long as you are happy to accept that other people may derive their pride from totally different things and could with equal justice ask themselves why you don't take enough pride in yourself to compose music for the cello or paint an oil painting or read a poem in Old Norse or whatever it is that makes them feel good.

Come on OP, why don't you take enough pride in yourself to brush up your Old Norse? Does wonders for my self-esteem.

I also realise that in mumsnet world it's not possible to climb down from your original post and change your mind without continued pulling apart

Part of the problem here is that even if the people who've read the whole thread accept that you've changed your mind, you're still going to be dealing with all the people who either can't be arsed to RTFT or simply don't realise that there are any pages beyond the first one, and thus will only take any notice of your OP. It's the Cancel the Cheque syndrome.