What's happened to having a bit of pride in yourself?

[daffodil10]

I am genuinely asking this question out of curiosity not being inflammatory but I will no doubt be accused of this in typical mnet style! Anyway here goes-

I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on.

A) I don't have time as when I get in from work there's stuff to do.
B) why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc. On another note if your bra is so uncomfortable you're wearing the wrong bra!

Yep, so it seems that PJs from coming home is doable depending on your circumstances :)

But I think when are in the midst of all the running about, you just imagine that everyone is in the same boat.

I'm in my holey super soft leggings and a sports bra.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Antigon they are not exacting to me just normal. This has nothing to do with sex, I would expect a man to still be clothed not sitting in his pants. If you bothered to read further back I don't do housework in a full face of make up or work clothes I just put normal old casual clothes on to work at home. I'm puzzled by those that think this is like a 50's housewife. Where I live and amongst my friends it's normal to stay fully clothed till bedtime- I'm not sure why that seems so stepford wives!

20 years of nightshifts have taken any shits i may have given about who sees me less than fully dressed.

No fucking way am i tearing myself from my bed 2 hours after i’ve got in it, getting dressed and putting lippy on before answering the door.

I get up, chuck on a dressing gown, and mutter “night shift” at whoever is there. Cold callers back away rapidly, post and parcel men apologise insincerely and get me to sign their little machine.

They are used to me now :)

But why are ‘normal old casual clothes’ any better than pyjama bottoms and a hoodie, for example? It’s jusy fabric that covers you.
I’m currently in jeans and a top. When I put the DC to bed in an hour or so I’ll change into a pair of nice pyjamas (I’m pregnant, so I have a few pairs of nice maternity ones). I’ll then sleep naked. I don’t think that will immediately change me into an unkempt slob with no pride in my appearance.

You did specify wearing "a bit of makeup" in an earlier post, OP. And as you have since clarified that you expect the same standards of men and women, at least I now know what I'm getting dh for his birthday. The lazy slob has been known to sit around all evening without even the slightest trace of eyeshadow or mascara! Very sad to see a man let himself go in this way.

Or then again, you could be honest and admit that you've done a fair bit of backtracking during the course of this thread, just to make sure it's the other posters who come across as unreasonable.

daffodil I didn't say anything about housework OP and I have rtt. Why are your standards for women so much higher than men?

You say women should have makeup on, brushed hair and a bra and not be dressed be in pyjamas, but all you require men for men is that they not sit in their pants?

What about shaving off a 5 o'clock shadow? Some cologne? Some nice chinos?

The first thing I do is take my shoes off and make very loud noises as I’m doing it because it feels so great. Next step is the bra. My hair is often up because I’m a teacher and I have terribly messy hair naturally so it’s smarter having it tied back. Sometimes the bobble will have made my scalp sore so I’ll take that out and look a teensy bit like worsel gummage. I keep my work attire and make up on till it’s bath and bedtime usually.

The only person who sees me is my DC and DP. No complaints so far...

"But as a pp said earlier if your sat in your pjs and no bra it's like the days over"

No it isn't. It just means other people make different, and equally valid, choices to you. Their day isn't finished just because you disapprove.

"My day doesn't end till I go to bed."

Have a medal then... 🥉

You don’t have to just ‘sit’ in pyjamas. You can walk around, read, study, do chores, chat to friends, do yoga, do hobbies... I’m not sure why you automatically think that as soon as you put pyjamas on you can’t do anything except sit and slob? As I said, on weekdays I can rarely go out post 7pm as DH works away often and my DC are in bed... why does it make a difference whether I’m doing my usual evening activities in my pyjamas or jeans?

you do feel 10000 x better when you are a bit more made up

I don't understand this - once my make up is on i can't feel it so i forget whether it's on or not.

Also - missing the point of the thread entirely - i'm confused by how many big boobed women take their bras off. As a human pancake, i have always been told by my more endowed friends they have to keep their bras on, even to sleep in sometimes as it's too uncomfortable otherwise. All the small boobed people i know hate bras as they find them uncomfortable and pretty pointless (only usually worn to add padding under clothes) so remove them at any opportunity. Sadly when i move around with no bra on i have nothing to dangle!

"All the small boobed people i know hate bras as they find them uncomfortable and pretty pointless (only usually worn to add padding under clothes) so remove them at any opportunity. "

B cup here (though C cup with MN intervention and a smaller band!) and I'm definitely MORE comfortable with it on, except for sleeping. If the small boobed people are uncomfortable with their bras on, I suggest they're wearing the wrong size.

"you do feel 10000 x better when you are a bit more made up"

I don't.

Excuse me but who are you to judge what I look like at home?
Every morning I leave the house with my hair and make up done (not like the ladies who save that for train)!
when I get home I put my slouchies on, then wash my face and brush my hair. Then I cook dinner, do chores etc!!

I have no idea why this would bother you so much?

you do feel 10000 x better when you are a bit more made up

In my observation wearing make up rarely makes a woman feel better about herself, rather that habitually wearing make up creates a sort of dependency which leads to your mood dipping when you are not wearing it, meaning you have o put it on to feel normal.

I totally agree, make up is an indication of shame, not pride

So, can I ask, all the folk that change into Pjs, do you never need to go out again after you've come in from work? DC all grown up?

No,because on my way home from work,I get any bits of shopping I might need/want. Eldest child is married with kids. Youngest child (21) is living at home and doesn't need me to go and pick him up/take him anywhere.I am not going ANYwhere once I get home from work except to my room to get changed!

Op you remind me of Bree from desperate housewives which I'm currently rewatching, I'm just imagining you sitting around in a twinset. I don't own any pj's as I don't wear them in or out of bed. I change into workout gear when I get in as that's when I exercise. After that it's loungwear or one of my many many kaftans depending on the temperature. As I'm the only adult in the house I'm not sure who I'm supposed to sit around all made up for?

Im a big boobed (D) lady, aged over 50. Today Im not wearing a bra and Im heading out to work. I nice well fitted teeshirt holds them fine. Im not doing that wire thing for anyone, its given me untold pain and damage over the years

"...you do feel 10000 x better when you are a bit more made up..."

I don't either, @Quangot.

Home is somewhere where you should be able to do whatever makes you comfortable - frankly, it should be your most comfortable place. If that means jeans and a top, and keeping active until bedtime, once you are home from work - fine. If it means no bra, pyjamas, and sitting on the sofa until bedtime - well, that is absolutely fine too - and so is anything in between.

People need to remember that their way is not the only right way, and their opinion is just that - their opinion, not a fact, and they need to stop judging people who have different ways of doing things.

If it has no direct impact on you, why do you care? Unless it is so you can feel superior to these people you are judging.

So, can I ask, all the folk that change into Pjs, do you never need to go out again after you've come in from work? DC all grown up?

My DC are 4 and 3. Latest activit finishes at 6. Obviously I don’t change into my PJ’s before picking up from that. They’re in bed by half 7 latest and as DH works away fairly frequently and I’m home alone with them, I can’t reallt go out after that.
Only exception is a yoga class one evening which my mum babysits for, and I am home for 8. I will shower and change into my pyjamas after that.

I totally agree, make up is an indication of shame, not pride

I don't want to get judgy about makeup-wearers, I think that's as bad as judging those of us who don't choose to wear it.

People need to remember that their way is not the only right way, and their opinion is just that - their opinion, not a fact, and they need to stop judging people who have different ways of doing things.

This. It's like the threads about not wanting to have kids / learn to drive.

Another person who doesn't wear make up, and feels absolutely fine without it. I also don't wear proper bras anymore, I wear those lycra crop top things, if it's a hot sticky kind of day then I take it off indoors. I don't wear pyjamas, I wear things like old leggings indoors with maybe a vest top or nightie, when it's cold I wear my dressing gown on top, couldn't care less what people like the OP think.
I stopped doing things like wearing makeup, wearing tights and high heels and doing the whole beauty thing years ago and my self esteem has increased as a result. Now I look and dress the way I want to and it feels good.

daffodil10 I don't change into PJ's until bed. The reason you seem Stepford wives is because you're unable to understand why people would want to be comfy and relax in their home in the evening without worrying about their appearance. You equate having a time when you feel free to relax and not worry about appearance as not taking pride in yourself.