What's happened to having a bit of pride in yourself?

[daffodil10]

I am genuinely asking this question out of curiosity not being inflammatory but I will no doubt be accused of this in typical mnet style! Anyway here goes-

I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on.

A) I don't have time as when I get in from work there's stuff to do.
B) why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc. On another note if your bra is so uncomfortable you're wearing the wrong bra!

poignant reminder of what's really important Banana

i like a lie in but I get dressed as soon as i'm up. Teenage Dd drives me mad not getting dressed till mid afternoon.

My teenage DD often doesn't get dressed till mid afternoon either. It's amazing though - somehow she can still write essays for Harvard and Stanford despite wearing PJs and those essays appear to be taken seriously. I don't know how this can be, but the Harvard and Stanford admissions people do not appear to be able to tell that she is not fully clothed, made up and wearing killer heels while penning her thoughtful pieces. Astonishing.

I make up and dress smartly for work. I love wearing make up... it’s part of my work prep in the mornings.

When I get home after work, it’s all undies off, leggings, slouchy jumper and support vest top on with slippers straight away.

I don’t dress like that on hols/weekends though. I love choosing my ‘casual’ outfits as much as work ones.

Ohhh. I never wear make up.

I have no standards.

Also totally just farted next to my husband.

He asked me if we are having a shag later 😂 he obviously thinks it's a mating call...

My teenage dd gets up but does not wear make up to work or heels, she wears shorts flip flops and a logoed t shirt with RNLI in big bold letters

That's an amazing story about Belsen, Banana but I think it is also "of its time" - back then most women would wear lipstick outside of the house and do their hair up properly. So it was of course a huge symbol of their womanhood and femininity to them.
Perhaps not so much these days, when a much larger number of women choose to go without make up on a daily basis? Hard to say (and I hope we never have to find out).

I was thinking about this thread this morning, and something occurred to me.

@daffodil10 seems to be equating pride in oneself purely in terms of appearance - wearing proper clothes rather than pyjamas, and a bit of make up. But I believe that it is possible to have pride in yourself for many other reasons, and that these are just as valid as how you dress and how you look, as demonstrations of pride and self worth.

For example, I take pride in doing the Polygon puzzle and the Killer Sudoku in the Times every day. I take pride in the things I sew, knit and crochet, and the sense of achievement I get in either wearing something I have made myself, or seeing someone else wear or use something I have made for them.

I get more personal fulfillment from these achievements than from looking a particular way - and that doesn't mean I am better or worse than someone like the OP, who takes pride in her appearance, and in not changing into pjs as soon as she gets home - it just means I am different.

So why can't we simply applaud each other's achievements - and our own - without feeling the need to denigrate other people in order to buff up the shine on our own achievements?

@ThumbWitchesAbroad - I think you are right about the lipstic given to the women in Belsen - if (as you say, god forbid) such a thing did happen again, I guess we'd find different things that symbolised a life that wasn't simply a matter of survival day to day - books, clean clothes, the luxury of cleanliness.

Great post @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius. For me, personally, I see women who feel they have to wear make-up everyday/before they leave the house/always in front of their husband, as women who suffer from low self-esteem.

But who am I to criticise them? If a bit of lippy makes them feel better, and they feel pride in themselves, then that's great.

Doesn't do anything for me - I take pride and have higher self-esteem from many other things that I do.

Each to their own

I agree with BIWI - great post SDTG! Well said indeed.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad - I think you are right about the lipstick given to the women in Belsen - if (as you say, god forbid) such a thing did happen again, I guess we'd find different things that symbolised a life that wasn't simply a matter of survival day to day - books, clean clothes, the luxury of cleanliness.

This. Absolutely this.

I sort of agree on the bra thing, I used to take mine off then discovered crop top bras so I wear those now. I don't have large boobs but it feels odd to have them unsupported when I'm not in bed or ill.

I change my clothes when I get in as I don't want to bring all the work/public transport germs into the house. And I feel fresher in clean clothes (not pjs just jogging pants and a tshirt!) I cook after work so I don't want my work clothes ruined with oil/cooking splashes/toddler paint.

I leave my bra on because I need the support & it's cotton & v comfortable: but I get into pj shorts/strappy t-shirt straight away. They are pretty & comfy. It's mostly the same as t-shirt & shorts my partner changes into, so why not. .

I feel worse when I have worn make up. I like to wash my face with cold water throughout the day, so make up would be a nightmare. I take care of my hygiene. Not make up or what I am wearing.

BUT i think it's really slobby to put on pj's as soon as you get in.

If it's slobby,then I'd love to know what you'd think of me - I've had my pjs on most of the day except for an hour when I went to Asda,then came home and cut the lawn. I have a week off and am blowed if I'm going to ''dress up'' for pottering around the house and being totally lazy and selfish.They're clean,my hair is washed,as is the rest of me. Who is there to care? My son certainly doesn't,as long as he's fed/watered/safe/has internet access!

Yes I agree One I like to keep my work clothes nice. I’m a mucky cook and the dogs are large and cuddly. Bubbling pots and dog hair ruin my clothes and unless I were to wear a house coat an apron wouldn’t get it all!
We’re in today, gardening and tidying. I walked the dogs at 7 in my tracksuit bottoms and a baggy old t shirt. These will stay on all day until I’m out tonight. Heaven!

I agree OP. Firstly my bra doesn't hurt - is this an obesity thing maybe? As no-one I know ever complains their bras hurt.

And secondly I feel happier if I look nice, whoever is watching.

Having said that I've got the day off and DC are elsewhere and I'm watching telly in my pyjamas! But I feel disgusting so might have to go and do some exercise in a minute.

You'd hate me. I only wear makeup a handful of times a year. I only dress smartly if I really have to. At work, I quite often wear something resembling pyjamas (scrubs). Doesn't mean I don't take pride in myself. I take pride in keeping my knowledge and skills up to date. I take pride in providing good care. I take pride in providing good training. I take pride in supporting the other staff.

I can't see any link between taking pride in myself and whether or not I subscribe to patriarchal misogynistic insistences upon how women should ensure they look good for men.

And yes, I take pride in being a feminist, thanks.

If I arrive at home in my work wear, which could be an expensive business suit. I do not want to be cooking dinner, doing house hold chores ! So I change immediately into clothes that suit being at home, for the task in hand. Makes perfect sense to me ! In the past, I have worn a uniform and I never wire that at home either !

Bras don't have to hurt to make it more comfortable not wearing one. They're not a natural extension of women's chests!

Lol at the whole it doesnt stop me being Wonder Woman and it's either be Wonder Woman or be vain and take care of your appearance, you can't do both 🤣🤣🤣

I do think it's unreasonable to give a shit what anyone else does in their own home. I run around at home in shorts and t shirt, hair in a top bun, I do wear underwear. I don't possess pyjamas, so can't imagine coming in and putting them on clearly, but I'm not doing waynetta slob. Make up is only if I'm out out.

People should do what makes them happy.

is this an obesity thing maybe?

😂 it makes me laugh when posters drop these snide comments in.
FWIW I’m a size 8-10 and my bras don’t hurt but sometimes I’m more comfortable without it on (and sometimes not, it depends). As a PP says, it’s not an extension of my skin. I sleep naked as that is how I’m most comfortable.

I get more personal fulfillment from these achievements than from looking a particular way - and that doesn't mean I am better or worse than someone like the OP, who takes pride in her appearance, and in not changing into pjs as soon as she gets home - it just means I am different

Lots of posts in this vain and very judgemental. Why do you assume that becayse the op chooses to take pride in her appearance that she cant also have other achievements like yours. Why do you assume that If a woman wears make up and a bra she's clearly vacuous and has fuck all else going for her?

In my experience I can wear a bra, day time clothes, make up and still do things with my brain.

Go figure.

I wasn't trying to be snide, just trying to work out how on earth these women hate wearing their bras!

Maybe it's the opposite - women are flat chested so don't NEED to wear a bra. I's a C cup and it's much more comfortable wearing a bra than not!

Honestly I think everyone who hates wearing a bra should hasten to the nearest John Lewis or M&S and get fitted properly. They don't need to be uncomfortable! I can't even feel mine when I'm wearing them!

And yes I agree re this ridiculous reverse snobbery of if you want to look nice, you must be thick or have no moral/spiritual sept. I have a very good degree and a great job but I also like to look nice. The two are by no means mutually incompatible!

*I'm a