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AIBU?

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Original poster

Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

809 replies

Boilin · 18/08/2018 17:45

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here Hmm). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

OP posts:
orphanblack1 · 18/08/2018 19:16

I’m sorry for your loss Lyin but “stupid name calling” how old are you - 5??!!

I also had a MMC last year but know that was nothing to do with alcohol as I hadn’t had a drop but still waited until 20 weeks this time

ASatisfyingThump · 18/08/2018 19:16

The advice not to drink at all is catering to the lowest common denominator - the women who think a bottle of vodka a day is ok, or multiple bottles of wine. Those of us whose choose to have half a cider (or a bottle of lager, in my case) after doing our research and weighing up the risks are then vilified by the general public,even though we aren't the ones with a problem!

For what it's worth, I had 3 beers during my entire pregnancy with DS2 - all at social events. I was missing out on most of the fun stuff I used to enjoy (tough pregnancy, big baby and struggling to walk through most of third trimester) so having a small drink at a wedding or birthday party made me feel included and cheered me up. But then I have the hide of a rhino these days, so I didn't care if people judged me!

cheesemongery · 18/08/2018 19:16

21 years ago they said 4 units a week for pregnant women was fine. Of course it should be Guinness - so I used to have 2 halves of Guinness pretty much every week throughout my entire pregnancy. I was only 21 myself - these were usually drunk in the pub whilst I was hustling at pool in spite of my massive bump. DS was born at 9lb6 and is now a strapping 6'5 - never had any health issues.

I was 33 when I had DD, did everything by the book - she was 5lb12 - no health issues either. As tall as her class mates (she's 9) fit and healthy.

It's a lottery really. If something terrible does happen, it's up to you whether you are going to focus on the one thing you did wrong once, or maybe there was a medical reason.

I hope it was a good cider though OP - not half a White Lightning Grin

WeightorWhite · 18/08/2018 19:17

*@Flatpackjackie
*
As I said before, I wouldn't speak to anyone publicly about it, but I would judge harshly. From experience, I think that most people (male and female) would too.

Not judging by the responses on this thread! You sound a judgy nightmare, undiagnosed problems because OP has half a fucking cider......get a grip!

OP not sure what would've annoyed me more, the wittering over half a cider or the talking to my husband about me!

ClashCityRocker · 18/08/2018 19:18

I can't believe people are comparing having half a pint of cider to taking class A drugs during pregnancy.

The mind boggles, it truly does. Just when you think you've reached the depths of idiocy.....

zeeboo · 18/08/2018 19:19

Very glad to hear that you weren't burned just for drinking cider!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/08/2018 19:19

Boilin why did you post this thread then? To be goady? Coax out the no-alcohol posters so that they can be ridiculed? You have all the answers so what was the point?

Strokethefurrywall · 18/08/2018 19:19

I wasn't referring to you LyingWitchInTheWardrobe - you might disagree but at least your points are valid and coherent.

It's the posting style of SavanahXx that I'm most enjoying the most.

LaPufalina · 18/08/2018 19:19

The man was out of order.
Emily Oster's "expecting better" is an excellent book for anyone uninformed about risks in pregnancy and a glass of cider isn't comparable to smoking, especially consumed slowly and with food.

Original poster
Boilin · 18/08/2018 19:19

cannabis, cocaine and other drugs are much more widely used, alcohol still has the highest numbers of deaths each year lmao

Cannabis and cocaine are much more widely used, than alcohol? I don't think so. I understand. You are concerned about my baby. Thank you! I honestly cannot take you seriously though as you've posted so much nonsense on here that I couldn't possibly take your posts with anything but a punch of salt.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boilin · 18/08/2018 19:21

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe have you read some of the posts on here? Can you not see what nonsense I'm being told in order to convince me I'm harming my baby? I have no issue with people disagreeing but I do have an issue with being made to feel bad based upon nonsense (not aimed at you) and non existent research. Of course I am going to question this?!

OP posts:
apriljune12 · 18/08/2018 19:24

Lol silly fucker.

With dc5 I had probably 2 glasses of red wine a week. She’s had 4 A* s at A level.

With ds 1 I was totally tea total and he does ok too.Grin

You should have told the idiot to keep his nose out of your business.

Some of the posters here are clearly bat shit crazy and their kids least worry will be mum drinking alcohol

Veterinari · 18/08/2018 19:26

@flatpackjackie
But in 2018, it's widely known that cider could damage the baby. If you can't abstain for 9 months, perhaps there's an issue?

Is it? Please do link to the peer reviewed scientific research that shows that half a cider does irreparable damage to unborn foetuses...

Oh no. You can’t. Because you’re talking judgemental bollocks. Fuck off.

GinIsIn · 18/08/2018 19:27

I had someone refuse to sell me wine at the supermarket so I could make risotto Confused

People like Flapjack are confusing ‘research’ with ‘guidelines’. The guidelines are to abstain. The research finds there is no need. The guidelines have to be more black and white because they were previously being interpreted very differently when there was a grey area.

apriljune12 · 18/08/2018 19:27

Savanaxx

You really would benefit from a drink love.

ASatisfyingThump · 18/08/2018 19:29

Ah, Savanah will grow out of it, I was an insufferable know-it-all at her age too. Give her a few years and she'll be cringing at how sanctimonious she was Grin

SavanahXx · 18/08/2018 19:32

www.reuters.com/article/us-drugs-alcohol-idustre6a000o20101101 please just read that @Boilin so yeah my nonsense is actually your lack of knowledge in the subject

WeightorWhite · 18/08/2018 19:34

@ASatisfyingThump Grin

That's laughing with you at your insufferable know it all comment about @SavanahXx ! Not laughing at you!

apriljune12 · 18/08/2018 19:34

Oh I have just seen you are 19 savannah same age as my own dd. Grin

Bless her she comes out with the funniest crap too. Maybe you have the edge though. Ask your mum if she drank alcohol while pregnant with you. Might surprise you

DownstairsMixUp · 18/08/2018 19:36

Lmao there's some thick people on this thread (the ones frothing about half a cider in pregnancy btw) seriously do you have no brains ?

FixItUpChappie · 18/08/2018 19:36

I'm surprised by the attitudes on this thread. All the information I've looked at (including various government websites and the Centre for Disease Control) have emphasized that it's not known how much or how little alcohol can impact baby and that alcohol of all types and amounts should be avoided.

Since FASD has such major negative impacts on our entire society it seem bizarre to just encourage women to just fly in the face of the recommendations - your body your business do what you want hun Hmm. I agree with the poster above who noted that if abstaining is such a hardship for 9 months than perhaps reflection on the role of alcohol in ones life should be should be considered more critically.

PipeTheFuckDown · 18/08/2018 19:36

I’m jealous you can go in a Spoons whilst pregnant. The smell of alcohol made me feel really sick when pregnant with DC4 and all I fucking wanted was a Spoons curry Envy Sad Grin

Original poster
Boilin · 18/08/2018 19:36

@SavanahXx the article you have linked states that alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the uk. Mainly because people get so drunk that they fight, drink drive, end up with liver problems, brain damage, overdose, etc etc.

This is the reason it is, as a whole, much more dangerous than any drug. It does the most damage on the whole.

It doesn't state anything about drinking during pregnancy and does not prove your point in the slightest that alcohol is as harmful, if not more than cocaine.

You are really embarrassing yourself!

OP posts:
SavanahXx · 18/08/2018 19:37

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11660210 so yeah, thank you for trying to make me sound stupid, but you kinda' failed given that there has been studies, so think you'll find that I'm the one 'cringing' at all you Smile

Inniu · 18/08/2018 19:37

I had someone refuse to serve me coffee at 8 months pregnant because it was bad for my baby.

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