Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

you wouldn't take ecstasy or cocaine, what makes drinking different?

Do we really need to answer why ecstasy and cocaine (which aren't even the same as each other) aren't the same as fermented vegetable drinks?

For goodness' sake, a little alcohol does no harm at all. My mother and all her peers used to drink when pregnant - we children all seem to be normal people!

I wouldn't say anything to you OP but I'm with Flatpack as well. I'd think that you had a problem with alcohol if you were drinking when pregnant. Your body, your choice though and that man shouldn't have said a word to you or even acknowledged your drinking.

What's the point though of posting a thread about something you're absolutely certain is your right to do? You're the one taking the risk, however small it is. The general advice is no alcohol in pregnancy. Obviously some know better. It's up to them. Not my circus and all that...

I ordered a glass of red when I was about 30 weeks.

It was just me (I was very early to meet a friend. Was excited to leave the other 2 kids at home ) bartender looked incredibly uncomfortable
HIM "Is someone one joining you?"
ME "yes but not for a while"
HIM "oh right, and what drink would you like?"
ME "just the Rioja please"
He eyes my very large belly
HIM "urm are you sure..don't you want a soft drink?"
ME "no I just want the wine please"
HIM "im not sure if I can serve you"

I ended up telling him I was actually just very fat

On the breast feeding thread that was deleted, it was declared that men had no right to tell a woman what to with her body but somehow this random guy in pub is ok to do just that?

Just wait until you've had the baby then you can breastfeed in Wetherspoons whilst drinking a pint and really wind him up!

excuse me, they are both plant extracts, same as a alcohol, no difference between them, just each focus on destroying a different organ, so maybe you should learn about what your taking or drinking before doing it.

If women choose to drink alcohol during pregnancy the NICE guidelines are one to two UK units once or twice a week. At this low level there is no evidence of harm to the unborn baby. OP is obviously within guidelines. The "no alcohol" advice is easier for medical professionals to apply across the board, particularly as some patients cannot regulate their alcohol consumption. Plus some people misinterpret the studies on foetal alcohol syndrome - as this thread demonstrates.

The posters now complaining about the comments from those disagreeing with the OP can wind their necks in. OP asked.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Should have been rephrased to "AIBU to think he had no right?" - and left at that.

When I was pregnant with DS1 it was a gorgeous summer.

DH was enjoying a beer in the garden and I decided to drive to the supermarket and buy alcohol free beer.

I had my 36 week bump under a summer dress and I had pigtails in.

I was 30 at the time,

The check out woman took one look at me, demanded ID and told me alcohol is unsafe in pregnancy-she hadn’t read the box.

I was mortified and nearly started crying (hormonal). I left the shop with nothing.

I think we should all look out for each other in a functioning society but a certain group use “concern” as a stick to beat others (often women) with.

@SavanahXx hello, I'm here. You can direct your post to me! My poor baby is going to be just fine. I'm sorry you think I've done the equivalent of taking hard drugs, however half a pint of cider is not going to harm my child, I have been advised that it is fine to drink this much by a medical professional, and have seen no evidence to suggest otherwise. I'm not going to trust the opinion of someone who thinks alcohol is the same as cocaine over a medical professional.

excuse me, they are both plant extracts, same as a alcohol, no difference between them, just each focus on destroying a different organ, so maybe you should learn about what your taking or drinking before doing it.

^ keep going, it's so funny

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe but people are disagreeing and usin 'research' that doesn't exist. Comparing alcohol to cocaine. Telling me I shouldn't drink because someone had a stillborn once that had no link to alcohol consumption. That's the problem. Can you not see the problem on this thread?

For god’s sake. The person who commented was well out of order.

There is categorically no evidence whatsoever to suggest that 1 unit of alcohol will cause harm. It is just ridiculous to suggest that it may cause FAS. The guidance on many things changes and we make our own judgements as adults capable of free will. I ate a salami and Brie sandwich while pregnant. Both things are stated by the NHS as being things to avoid. Would that fellow or any of you on here feel the need to approach me in a cafe to advise me of this?

Women are treated like children when pregnant.

Loving all the sanctimony on here from the oh so perfect posters.

OP, I’m with you on this. I didn’t touch anything until past 20 weeks and most I’ve had so far is half a glass prosecco on 3 occasions (with copious amounts of food and water) and last night poured the tiniest amount of OH’s red wine into a glass for me when out for dinner. Got some judgy looks but ignored them.

I don’t have a problem with alcohol but do love the taste of red wine which you can’t replicate with non-alcoholic so have the odd sip here and there.

Nothing wrong with it and my family of medics agree - Uncle and cousin are GP’s and two of my cousins other halves are surgeons (in the US)

Ignore the pearl clutchers

I didn’t drink a drop during pregnancy, nobody I know has. I would judge inwardly, but it is your decision and your baby. However the man is entitled to voice his opinion. Yes it makes him a dick, which you would have been within your rights to point out too!

bertiesgal... I know your circumstances were a bit different as you were in a shop and this was about legal age but no, people are not using 'concern' as a stick to beat women with.

If you (general) think that then stop seeking validation for it. It's that's simple. Most people wouldn't say a word to a pregnant woman but don't expect anything more than acceptance that it's up to everybody what they do with their bodies.

SavanahXx

Plant extracts? Oh right, I'll know what to avoid in future, then.

Ah as always these threads always weed out the willfully ignorant in need of education.

I know it's wrong to laugh at such stupidity but it's hard not to when it's right there..

Two of my friends drank the occasional small glass of wine when pregnant, both were told that it was fine and both went on to have healthy children.

Boilin No I can't. I don't care what you do either. It's your body, your baby. Stop asking for validation and then you won't get the answers you don't want. Or be more prescriptive with your AIBU so that people who don't agree with drinking in pregnancy don't post.

I wouldn't, you would. Both are acceptable.

I'm not a pearl-clutcher orphanblack, I had a miscarriage that affected me badly. No alcohol or drugs during pregnancy but I would have been distraught at not knowing if that were the cause. So keep your stupid name-calling to yourself.

I don't need 'educating' thanks, Strokethefurrywall.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe oh trust me they'd still post

I drank a couple of glasses of wine when pregnant and then got super stressed about it. I kept thinking about an article on poor reading ages. After all alcohol is a toxin.
I wouldn’t drink if I was pregnant now as I was silly worried about it......It sounds stupid but others can upset you and I suppose there is a theoretical risk.

OP, please ignore the idiots. If your GP father is fine with it random strangers can go swivel.
I was pregnant Millenium eve so was the only sober person on the planet or so it seemed. I had a glass of champagne at Midnight. Three days later I had problems pain, spotting, couldn’t feel baby. I was 27 wks. Tearfully I told the Dr it was all my fault, I knew I shouldn’t have had that champagne. He looked me in the eye, told me the champagne did not hurt my baby but getting so upset might. I was discharged four days later, ds was born at 37 weeks perfectly heathy and he starts Uni next month.

Enjoy your baby and a meal out with or without cider you’ll probably not get another one for several years!