Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

Half a cider could do one of these options ... FAS, stillborn or miscarriage.

There's not a jot of evidence to suggest that half a pint of cider will result in any of these outcomes. Take your ignorance elsewhere.

mumsastudent Sat 18-Aug-18 18:37:46
as a teetotaller - a thought - all those people in the middle ages who slogged down pints a day as normal (although low alcohol but lots of it) how did Mary Arden manage to produce a genus like William? Where all the dc born with problems? (sarcasm/irony alert) for goodness sake the woman had a half of cider

Many, many babies were probably miscarried, stillborn, died in childbirth or during infancy.

@RatherBeRiding well said 👍

I think SavannahXx apologised with good grace last night.

I hope she continues to find good virtual support on MN (maybe not on AIBU ) and that she finds good support and some friends in real life and her pregnancy continues well.

Finding friends becomes all the more important once the wee one arrives and as he or she progresses through nursery and school.

Going back to the original topic and in case people still haven't understood plain English got the message: You. Can't. Prove. A. Negative. You can test a hypothesis to almost destruction and say that in the absence of any other information, that hypothesis would appear to be true as it fits all the available facts.

I really hoped that people would take my apology seriously @prettybird but I guess some people don't know how to accept an apology, not a lot more that I can do, and I don't take kindly to people carrying on, trying to mug me off when ive tried to do the right thing and apologise, not exactly fair, but thank you @prettybird

It's. Half. A. Glass. Of. Cider.

Seriously.

You can't prove a negative. In order to scientifically prove a negative with 100% certainty you would literally have had to research every single occurrence of the said subject in history. I.e. to prove having half a glass of cider does NOT (negative) have any form of risk to your pregnancy, you would have to research every single occurrence of this during pregnancy throughout history.

Thats why they say it's highly unlikely to cause any damage, because it's never been proven to through modern research but it's physically impossible to confirm beyond that.

I repeat... It's. Half. A. Glass. Of. Cider.

If you don't want to drink throughout pregnancy, that's absolutely your choice. It certainly doesn't make you a better person or mother.

Apart from you OP. You're clearly a selfish cow who cares not for her unborn child. Why don't you just throw a bottle of Becks in baby's bottle when they make an appearance because clearly it's the same.

I'm teetotal, but because apparently something being unsuitable to give a newborn also means it shouldn't be consumed by a pregnant woman either, next time I'm up the duff I'll have nothing other than breast milk and formula. Just to be on the safe side.

You've got it wrong minge : no-one has proven that formula doesn't cause problems - in fact there is proof that breast milk is better - so you'd better not have ANY formula

(For the avoidance of doubt: I'm not actually saying that formula is dangerous and I believe that every mother should feed their baby the best way for their circumstances ; it's just the logic of some of the argument on here )

savanah

You apologised that’s all gig can do you don’t need to keep defending yourself.

I do wonder how some other posters exist in their level of anxiety over one half a cider. Life must be terrifying for you.

Good point prettybird, I'd best not have anything at all, just to be on the safe side. It'll be a rough theoretical nine months unless someone works out how to prove a negative before then.

If you don't want to drink throughout pregnancy, that's absolutely your choice. It certainly doesn't make you a better person or mother

With this I disagree 100%. I would far rather be accused of being over cautious when pregnant than the alternative frankly.

Half a cider could do one of these options ... FAS, stillborn or miscarriage
Dear God are there really people on here who think that's a fact?
It's half a pint of cider ffs. The baby will be COMPLETELY UNHARMED!
Good luck OK and enjoy another cider on your next night out

@skunkatanka being over cautious does NOT make you a better mother!

@skunkatanka being over cautious does NOT make you a better mother!

Not drinking alcohol while pregnant does not make you over cautious. It means that you are following the NHS guidance and you are putting your baby's needs ahead of your own.

@skunkatanka you won't get through to them , they will never worry about others unless it affects them .
It was one drink apparently but she chose apple cider over others because she likes the taste . Mind -baffling to me when there are so many healthy alternatives. . The next thread will be oh but it is healthy in moderation . Mindfulness and exercise must be too hard for people that want to de-stress with alcohol .

you won't get through to them , they will never worry about others unless it affects them

Don’t be daft. Plenty of us here have said we don’t drink during pregnancy ourselves, but still don’t think one glass of cider will harm the OP’s baby.

I don’t eat fish during pregnancy (or ever). I don’t think women who do eat fish are selfish for imbibing mercury that will pass to their unborn baby, or tut at them that they should try mindfulness instead of tuna.

My advice (to be taken or left as desired) is ignore these people. Nobody has the right to comment on a pregnant lady drinking alcohol (or anything). So just ignore.

Not drinking alcohol while pregnant does not make you over cautious. It means that you are following the NHS guidance and you are putting your baby's needs ahead of your own

No it is not. The NHS guidance is simply because people think that women are too thick to know the difference between one drink every few days and one very few minutes. And it would be unethical to do a study where you had pregnant ladies drinking varying amounts of alcohol so they don't do it. I drank very little during pregnancy especially in the first few weeks because my taste buds were all over the place. But I'm big and ugly enough to make that decision for myself.

And that about sums it up RunningKeenster

Prove to me with more than one scientific paper that it won't have any negative effects on any woman ever.

Your logic is flawed.

A link is posited, the link is analysed, and it's either confirmed or refuted. In this case, there's no known link between moderate drinking and FAS, just as there's no known link between the MMR vaccine and autism.

Savannah everyone may be older than you but I can think of at one person here who had a daughter at your age, her daughter's now an adult, but she'll get you. Come over to the Respo threads and introduce yourself. 😀

*at least

I'm sleep deprived. I have one DC who wakes up at 6.30 and one who goes to bed at 11.

You can’t Argue with stupid

And stupid you are if you think one half a cider would harm a foetus.

Here’s a thought...why not have a non alcoholic drink? Is having any alcohol really such a priority full stop far less when you are pregnant?🙄

@RoseWhiteTips

Noone has said alcohol is a priority. It's something some people choose to enjoy, pregnant or not, and most of those people can do it safely + in moderation. I have chosen not to myself, but not because I believe for one second the odd drink will do any harm to my baby.

I had a slice half a round of Camembert last week - do u think that means that Camembert is a 'priority' to me? Would you confront me in a pub if I chose it for dinner? Or had swordfish?