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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

809 replies

Boilin · 18/08/2018 17:45

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here Hmm). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

OP posts:
SavanahXx · 19/08/2018 23:39

@apriljune12 criminal injuries, and yes I had a big claim, I didn't make the claim, I was 6 when I got it, it was kept in an account with interest on it too, when I was 18 I was absolutely gobsmacked.

@karyatide his family live around a hour away from us? we go and see them regularly and they come to see us too, also I don't need support financially from my boyfriend Confused we split everything equally

why am I still trying to defend myself from peoples judgy comments lmaoo

prettybird · 19/08/2018 23:40

Sugar is dangerous, so I hope that anyone who wants to reduce all risks while pregnant doesn't have anything with added sugar Hmm. It causes T2 diabetes. If it were invented today, it probably wouldn't be allowed to go on the market.

People who develop gestational diabetes have a greater chance of developing T2 diabetes later in life - although for most it resolves post natally.

When I was pregnant with ds, I developed "leaky kidneys" (some ketones in my urine, but I passed the GTT). My GP told me to stop eating sugary things. I gave away the fruit pastilles I'd just bought Sad and stopped drinking full-fat Irn Bru (34g of sugar in a can! Shock) which I'd literally only just started drinking guilt-free Sad

Now that was a hardship, much more than restricting the small amount of alcohol I drank in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters Wink

But as a grown woman I was able to make those judgements. And my GP (and my dad - a medic, and my best friend - a GP, and her dh - also a GP) all respected my ability to make informed decisions. Smile

One thing my best friend had said to me long before I fell pregnant (but after she'd had her first 2 kids) was that no-one has a god-given right to a perfect child: shit happens. No one to blame - however much people might want to lash out and find a culprit. Sad

BeefyCakes · 19/08/2018 23:41

There are none so blind as those who will not see...

apriljune12 · 19/08/2018 23:43

I don’t think motherhood is an easy option love I would be worried if my dd thought that but I know she would be horrified to be pregnant at 19! Grin that’s her though and I had my first baby young too.

Of course It’s totally fine being a Sahm I was too at 21.. but come on you have been quite rude to posters trying to engage with you.

This parenting lark is hard. You arnt there yet but you will be. Honestly listen to advice and of course take it or leave it but do listen.

Don’t write off other mums. Some day you will need to engage for your dds sake

apriljune12 · 19/08/2018 23:49

savanna

I get you and I am so glad you have a settlement that you clearly deserve.

I think you need to keep mumsnetting and you will gain immeasurably from doing so.

Despite you being a rude cheeky little madam and you should apologise to the op and others I like the cut of your gib. Google that

But humility love always humility Wink

SavanahXx · 19/08/2018 23:50

@apriljune12 All I did was share my opinion that no one knows the risks of drinking while pregnant, and that its not 100% safe, also, when you're being told you're a OTT anxious parent who needs help, that's not the nicest way of putting things, especially when these people don't know me from adam. it sounds way worse than it is, yes I have anxiety, but I also know how to live with it, I've had 'help' and its annoying when I know when I need help when I don't, and I don't. I just stick to every recommendation so that I know myself as a mother that I'm doing everything possible to ensure that my little girl is ok.

SavanahXx · 19/08/2018 23:52

I'm sorry if anyone feels that I've been rude, I was literally only trying to voice my opinion.

victoriaspongecake · 19/08/2018 23:52

babyccinokids.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/silke-2.jpg

This is a baby born at 28 weeks.
Would you give it cider in it's bottle?

apriljune12 · 19/08/2018 23:55

Yes but you didn’t post things the nicest way too either and aibu on mumsnet won’t allow you to get away with that and quite right too.

Nothing is 100% safe. You probably know that.

Keep posting but maybe rein it slightly Hmm

apriljune12 · 19/08/2018 23:59

And a tip if you are going to be a regular mumsnetter, and I hope you are, you need to assimilate so look at victorias post and understand it’s insane and assimilate.

SavanahXx · 19/08/2018 23:59

@apriljune12 I get that, and again I'm sorry for not putting it in the nicest of terms

apriljune12 · 20/08/2018 00:01

I wish you the absolute best kiddo and please keep posting.

apriljune12 · 20/08/2018 00:07

victoriasspongecakes

Would it make him sleep all night if yes then totally.

That was a joke as assumed the poster was joking or insane

lola212121 · 20/08/2018 00:08

What's the point in drinking half a glass of cider with your meal ? Couldn't you have drunk apple juice ? I find it slightly odd .unless you had more than half a glass because you wanted to feel a bit drunk .

MeyMary · 20/08/2018 00:08

It's ok, Savannah. (Well, at least imo. Pregnancy is a difficult time and being a young mother with anxiety living in what seems to be a rough area can't be easy either...)I think it's great you're on Mumsnet.

Btw, changing your username is perfectly fine (you may obviously already be aware of that). Some people have been identified by people they know IRL.
(And there's the daily mail and their ilk!)

StepsRoadmum · 20/08/2018 00:12

@apriljune12 of course there are. You can't condemn people for choosing not to drink any more than you can condemn them for choosing to.

SavanahXx · 20/08/2018 00:15

@apriljune12 I'm on mumsnet everyday, but I don't really join in the discussions, purely because I've seen that everyone's older than me, and lets face it, its harder for a younger person to join in the conversations, well I know it is for me anyway. I joined a due date thread, and I've said all of 3 things on there haha.

and thank you @MeyMary and I know Smile there are like a trillion savanah's in Bolton anyway so guess it would be ok haha Smile

MeyMary · 20/08/2018 00:21

Ah, good. :) The amount of Savannahs will probably decrease the likelihood of someone recognising you. (They could however mistake you for an other Savannah...Wink)
Anyhow, good night. 😴💤

SavanahXx · 20/08/2018 00:25

goodnight @MeyMary SmileFlowers

apriljune12 · 20/08/2018 00:25

savannah

It might seem everyone on mumsnet is an oldie and they may be by age but trust me every woman remembers her pregnancies and births and the early days. They remain etched forever on you.

I take my grandsons to playgroups and some of the first time moms are 7 years younger than me.

Motherhood spans years Grin

apriljune12 · 20/08/2018 00:29

steps

Quite

SavanahXx · 20/08/2018 00:32

@apriljune12 I don't think of older people as oldies!! ive always gotten on better with older people rather than people my age, but then i start to feel like an annoyance, your going to read thins and think "ehh??" but everyone my age in this area are very very very childish, and immature, (yes, more than me Wink) and due to my childhood, I was forced to grow up and think like an adult rather than be a child, so I guess that's why I cannot stand the people my age around here (not saying they are all like that, but 99.9% of them are) I think that's why I prefer the family company, they are all older than me, and I cant feel like the annoyance that's just tagged to them, because they are family haha

BlueBug45 · 20/08/2018 00:33

@lola212121 so you only drink to get drunk?

Well I have news for you - there are a lot of people who like the taste of a specific alcohol so have just one alcoholic drink when they drink.

HartleyHaresHo · 20/08/2018 00:34

aww group hug anyone? Grin

The vitrol against both the OP and Savanah (how bloody vile to bully someone like that - yes statistics may say that teenage mum's children could be disadvantaged - to slate her because of her medical health is really vile and frankly those who did that should be bloody well ashamed.

Savanah I'm sorry for 'abouting' to you but I've disagreed with most of your posts - I'm sure at your age I would have definitely fought my corner without facts - you've got people's backs up because there is no harm at all to a MTB taking a half a cider. By the time it passes via the placenta it's negligible / Unfortunately some ninnies can't differentiate between the odd glass now again and obviously makes Hmmthem a raving alchie

starbrightlight · 20/08/2018 00:40

Just popping back for the group hug. Night night.

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