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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think children benefit from a clean home?

176 replies

AbeautifulBeast · 17/08/2018 21:29

Inspired by the saying that seems to do the rounds on FB over the holidays. Something along the lines of not having time to clean because they are far too busy making memories....
I do get it, no one looks back at their childhood and remembers if the bathroom and kitchen were spotless however it amazes me how many adults admit a dirty/messy home affects their mental health but seem to think it doesn't affect children.
I appreciate everyone has different standards but surely it can't be good for kids to grow up in dirt and mess for the sake of 'memories' and there has to be a balance?

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/08/2018 21:31

Yes to balance. And it helps to get the DC involved in tidying up after themselves. Nothing good about killing yourself so they think the place looks good thanks to cleaning fairies.

chronicallyexhausted · 17/08/2018 21:31

Sounds like a daily mail/express/sun etc question....so I'll start by saying PISS OFF TABLOIDS!

Right now that's out of the way...I can't function as efficiently in a messy environment and neither can my children I've noticed. I clean and tidy so that we can enjoy the things we have and can see the wood for the trees as it were.

newsparklythings · 17/08/2018 21:32

funinthesun18 · 17/08/2018 21:33

I agree 100%.

Namechangeychange · 17/08/2018 21:34

Yes, strongly agree. “Dust If You Must” etc can eff off. You don’t have to choose between the two.

ScattyCharly · 17/08/2018 21:36

I think they certainly benefit from being taught how to be organised and prepared. Whether there is limescale on a tap is not too much or

ScattyCharly · 17/08/2018 21:37

Oops
Limescale on tap not a problem but living in total filth is.

QuoadUltra · 17/08/2018 21:38

YANBU OP, but I know plenty of people who prioritise tidy house over Living. I think it is probably those people that the ‘making memories’ stuff is aimed at.

RedneckStumpy · 17/08/2018 21:39

Also agree, it’s not difficult to keep on top of things

Twillow · 17/08/2018 21:40

Entirely depends on what your standards of dirt and mess are. If you're using a bottle of bleach a day and can't stand still for 5 minutes without using a surface wipe, then the memories your children will have may not be the happy carefree ones you think they are...
We're messy but not dirty, we tidy up when we're in the mood (or having visitors of course!) and certainly don't have a cleaning routine beyond 'oh that looks dirty, I'll clean it'.
I do admit sometimes it's stressy when someone can't find something.

Original poster

AbeautifulBeast · 17/08/2018 21:40

Not a journalist and thanks for the biscuit 🤨
Like I said, it made me think seeing the number of post on FB along those lines.
I genuinely believe full on mess and dirt is good for no one, no matter how many memories are made...

OP posts:

Tomatoesrock · 17/08/2018 21:42

Yes I agree. My mam wasnt the greatest at cleaning and it was chaotic trying to find matching socks most days, embarrassing in wrinkly clothes, I didn't really realise until I started going to friends when I was around 10. My house gets untidy with toys sometimes but it is very important that the DC have easy access clean clothes, socks. Not hunting for school bags and clean underwear.

My mam was really loving so we were always loved, Some of my untidy friends think love is all they need, but structure is just as important.

bobstersmum · 17/08/2018 21:43

I agree, you don't have to spend whole days cleaning. It doesn't take long to blitz a room, I definitely function better and am mentally happier in a clean tidy environment. The kids will help if I say right let's see how quickly we can put toys away! And all of them love a cloth and a spray bottle for some strange reason!

Bestseller · 17/08/2018 21:44

I agree it needs to be clean and ordered "enough". Obsessiveness is unnecessary and possibly harmful but I don't believe anyone is genuinely happy living in a pigsty. IME many people living in very dirty/cluttered homes are struggling with their mental health (although the mh leads to the mess, not vice versa)

Moussemoose · 17/08/2018 21:44

Houses that are too clean are actually bad for children's overall health.

LifeBeginsNow · 17/08/2018 21:45

I'll do a stealth boast and say that tonight my 2yo asked for his pudding and I told him I needed to clean up first. He then went round and put the dog toys away and put my car keys that had fallen out of my pocket in their safe place!
I think it's an important skill for children to learn. Structure and cleanliness is so important to my mental health and I'm sure it helps the rest of the family too (even if I do get ribbed for it).

AdelaideK · 17/08/2018 21:45

I agree. My friend used to be so embarrassed having others round to hers when we were kids as it was such a mess.

She has a nice house now she's an adult. Not a show home but neat and tidy.

JynxaSmoochum · 17/08/2018 21:47

There is too messy and too tidy and it's where either extreme affects quality of life. Unsanitary or unsafe conditions, not having the space to live properly and not having needs met is damaging as is being micromanaged in an attempt to create a sterile environment. Most people are between those extremes.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 17/08/2018 21:48

I actually do look back fondly on our clean kitchen and generally pleasant house. Many of my friends' houses always had crumbs on the table, splattered microwaved, tuna in the margarine, towels you wouldn't want to dry your hands on, etc etc.

I don't know if they cared (and I wouldn't ask if they were conscious of it) but I recognised and liked the fact that our house was well kept.

Mind you my mum still has conniptions if I try to bring food into the sitting room when I visit.

Original poster

AbeautifulBeast · 17/08/2018 21:49

@Moussemoose I agree but that's not what I mean. I am talking about things being dirty or messy and parents blaming 'making memories' for the state of the family home.

OP posts:

Bestseller · 17/08/2018 21:51

Enjoy your boast now Life. Come back and tell us how easy it is when he's 15

TheSassyAssassin · 17/08/2018 21:53

Also agree. My DM was of the obsessive variety when I was younger and cleaning def overtook fun days out a lot, however I hope I have achieved a bit more of a balance and DD is very good at helping out to keep things mostly tidy. Now she has started to go to more people's houses, she has commented a few times that we live in a nice place and she likes having it tidy, so would like to think it is benefiting her.

Moussemoose · 17/08/2018 21:55

Do what you want to do. Have your house as clean or as dirty as you want. Their is not moral superiority in either.

I find people who obsess about clean houses tiresome because they assume clean make them better human beings. Clean by all means, I don't care, just stop banging on about it.

People are genuinely happy doing what they want.

Oliversmumsarmy · 17/08/2018 21:56

No one looks back at their childhood and remembers if the bathroom and kitchen were spotless

I do. All we did was clean. The more the cleaning the more my mother became more crazed.

Original poster

AbeautifulBeast · 17/08/2018 21:57

@Moussemoose I think you are taking this a little personally.

OP posts:

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