To think children benefit from a clean home?

[AbeautifulBeast]

Inspired by the saying that seems to do the rounds on FB over the holidays. Something along the lines of not having time to clean because they are far too busy making memories....
I do get it, no one looks back at their childhood and remembers if the bathroom and kitchen were spotless however it amazes me how many adults admit a dirty/messy home affects their mental health but seem to think it doesn't affect children.
I appreciate everyone has different standards but surely it can't be good for kids to grow up in dirt and mess for the sake of 'memories' and there has to be a balance?

Absolutely what Mousse said. Nothing more tedious than a tidy freak humble bragging under the guise of concern for child health. Clean or don’t clean but spare us your thinly veiled superiority

Ha you're right bestseller! I'll be sat there wondering where it all went wrong!

Clear difference between a few lego bricks on the floor and dirty dishes . Having a few toys lying around during holidays etc is to be expected but no excuse for dirt.

Title of the thread to think children benefit from a clean home this implies that if the home is not clean then children are at a disadvantage. That's quite insulting when you think about it.

Children benefit from happy parents.

I look back on my childhood with a feeling of shame over the level of filth we lived in. Shelves and ornaments thick with dust, floors covered in animal hair, a kitchen that would make most people ill to just think of eating out of, a bathroom so disgusting I can’t put it into words on an anonymous forum, never being allowed to have friends over so that no-one would see the way we lived, asking “who’s coming over” if my mother did put her book away and start cleaning, (this always got us yelled at, yet it was always true). So, yes, it absolutely affects children.

I hate the dust if you must for 2 reasons:

1. You don't have to live in a shithole just because you've had kids. I agree that it's not beneicial to anyone to live in chaos. Having a family creates a lot of work and, yes, it's tedious but does them no harm to show them it needs doing and life isn't all fun, fun , fun

1. There's a notion that by cleaning and being organised is neglectful. Yes, there is an extreme end of the spectrum but most of us fall somewhere in the middle. I don't think it does any harm not to give 100% attention if things need doing

I am certain of one thing: adults who obsess over cleanliness (deep cleaning, whatever that is, and ironing) justify their lunacy position by referring to their children's needs.

I think they are at a disadvantage though. It affects them socially not wanting to have friends over, possibly smelling in school (assuming if their home is dirty there wouldn't be much care taken over their clothes)
Sometimes it is just hard to think straight when things are a mess so possibly homework will suffer as well.
No one is at a disadvantage from being clean but I certainly think being dirty helps no one especially children.

One of my resounding childhood memories is my mum cleaning the house, oh the smell of the cleaning products I now love, whilst I plAyed pirates on the sofa. Happy memories!

The children can make memories (e.g. building a den in the garden) whilst the parents clean the house. The two activities aren't mutually exclusive.

There's a difference between being a clean freak, and never allowing any form of messy play (not great for kids), and keeping everything reasonably hygienic whilst allowing some play-associated clutter.

Hmm, I have very fond memories of growing up in a beautiful old but slightly messy and not particularly clean house. There were cats in my bed, dogs on the sofa and it was perfectly okay to run around in my riding boots (while my poor friend with a clean freak mother had to get changed in the garage where all her gear was immediately washed in a separate washing machine when she came home from the stables). Being allowed to bring all sorts of plants and wildlife into the house and to draw, paint, play or experiment in the kitchen without anyone worrying too much about the potential mess made for an amazing childhood (and zero allergies). I do like a reasonably clean and tidy house, but housework bores me to tears and I also don't think overly clean environments are particularly healthy.

no harm to show them it needs doing and life isn't all fun, fun , fun

Well my mother made sure life was never fun.

I was seriously disadvantaged by a clean house.

It drove my mother into the psychiatric hospital every few months and I would end up in care.

I have come across similar people who laugh it off saying they are OCD and can't function in an untidy house whilst getting their dc up very early in the morning on a non school day because they are making a mess in their bedroom by sleeping and crumpling the sheets.

Yanbu and it irritates me when people insinuate that if you have a clean home then you're child is unhappy.
My house is clean and tidy, my son has an amazing life, out every day and different activities with me all the time, lots of playing on the floor with both myself and DH and constant laughter. Painting in the kitchen, getting muddy in the garden and sandy in the sandpit.
I can still have a clean home and do all of these things. Some memes I've seen basically say if you're home is clean then you're neglecting your children.

An acquaintance of mine thinks she is intellectually superior to me because of my bourgeois housekeeping habits (i.e. I hoover, dust and do the washing up). She is proud of the fact she never dusts or hoovers because she is too busy reading the newspapers and digesting important current affairs. Weirdly, I manage to do this and not grow mould in used coffee cups scattered throughout the house.

Perhaps I’m not as fabulously bohemian as her, but I do know people are happy to hang around drinking coffee and eating food I have cooked in my house, which is not the case with her.

I also think it’s important (and I am probably old fashioned in my outlook) that the house is what my gran would call ‘straight’ when we get home after school/work and if DD brings friends round. It’s just nicer.

I think there is a difference between being ill and just tidy and organised.

You will find dust in my house and the odd mark on a cupboard or wall. It is not perfect .

My sil, otoh, lives in utter chaos. Dirty beakfast dishes still out at teatime, clothes strewn all over not just the bedroom but all over the house. Bills get lost and unpaid under the mess

My mum had pretty low standards and I was embarrassed to bring friends back as a child. Although it was more untidiness than awfully unclean but definitely a degree of grime. I think it's one of those things where if you had a nice clean home as a child are you going to remember it? Perhaps not. But having an unclean home brought me a lot of shame and that, I definitely remember.

As an adult I hate clutter so keep that to a minimum. I'm not a crazy cleaner and I am pretty laid back but all surfaces are cleaned regularly and everything usually looks presentable.

Just visited my parents house. It was full on clutter.

Growing up, it wasn’t as bad but was still on the clutter side of tidiness. However, that didn’t stop us having happy family holidays, my dm running successful Brownie and Guide troops, and most of the siblings having university educations.

I do hate the ‘making memories’ pictures on Facebook, but clutter and mess doesn’t equal unhappy childhoods. I do agree that a really dirty, uncared for house could be unwelcome, but also the mum who,spends all,their time cleaning isn’tndomtheir children any favours either. Someone in the middle is a happy compromise,

@CluesAboutSpain my younger sister's peanut allergy and the multiple members of my family with hayfever are definitely not from living in a very clean house plus my dad always had cats.

There's a huge leap though between a generally untidy home and kids smelling when they go to school.

I don't think kids notice much, tbh, unless they're in the 'extreme maniacally clean' or 'extreme filth' scenarios, and neither is ok or healthy for them.

I take 20 minutes per evening when DH has the DC, to wash up/wipe down bathroom/sweep kitchen floor/chuck a load of washing on etc etc. Our house is never dirty, and if we do a 'half hour blitz' then it looks properly clean. This is due to DH and I sharing housework equally as we both feel shit living in a chaotic house.

It’s actually a mind-numbing and relentless job to keep a house clean. What a shame that women still seem to be responsible for the task.

V true

I hate cleaning but also hate too much dirt. My house is neither spotless or rank (by my, admittedly quite low standards)
I would have been quite happy for my Mum to have spent less time cleaning and more time with me growing up.

I think it can go either way.

My mum was an obsessive cleaner. Keeping the house spotless was no fun for me and I developed a dust allergy off the back of it.

DH grew up in a fairly filthy (but affluent) home. It didn't bother him in the slightest. When I lived there briefly, i hated every second of it.

I try to keep the house to a reasonable standard, but DS1 (who's 4) hates when I clean, hates being asked to help and hates when the place is too clean and tidy.

I don't think kids notice much, tbh, unless they're in the 'extreme maniacally clean' or 'extreme filth' scenarios, and neither is ok or healthy for them.

Agreed