To ask a girl to leave our netball team?

[Missjb87]

I've been playing netball in an organised league for 1.5 seasons. I initially joined alongside a group of strangers and we've stayed on as a team and paid for a 2nd season.

We're all of a similar level aside from 1 girl who really struggles to catch and hasn't improved since we started. She's ruining the enjoyment of the game for everyone but recognise she's paid up to the end of this season so persevere with her.

Would it be unreasonable to start a new team without her in it next season/ask her to leave? And if so, how should we go about it?

*Look at all the horrible names she’s been called, and all the horrible accusations that have been made about her character simply because she wants to have a competitive game of netball with other women who can actually play.

Fuck that.*

This is a fair point of view. But one which you could extend beyond the sporting arena. Why should I sit in the pub and be polite when my DH's friend's wife talks shit about Brexit? Surely I should also be able to say "Fuck that. You clearly know absolutely nothing whatsoever about the economics of international trade and I am off to make conversation with some other people with a masters degree in a numerate subject. I'd actually like to be able to have a conversation with someone who knows what a current account deficit is."

Or would I just look like a rude, superior arse? And an antisocial one to boot? Why is social sport exempt from the normal rules of social interaction?

Whoops! Bold fail in the quote above...

JacquesHammer

But people shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting to play against people that are “rubbish”. It’s completely pointless IF you’re wanting to play to be competitive.

Unless you are the person that is "rubbish" and wants to get better.

There has to be a pay off between the two. Or where will the new players come from.

As an additional though, maybe these clubs should stop referring to themselves as clubs/hobbies/inclusive and make sure that they advertise for only those that want to be competitive.

'Everybody welcome' seems not to actually be the case.

'Everybody who is about the same level as the current incumbents, but don't be too crap cos you'll ruin our enjoyment, and don't be too good, cos we don't want to the crap ones'

*to be

Why is social sport exempt from the normal rules of social interaction?

It's not - if it's decided that a conversation is needed about someone not being up to the required standard, it should be done very tactfully. I'm certain no-one's telling people to fuck off in this situation. Obviously the language you used in your Brexit example would be unacceptable, but saying that you'd like to change the subject because you find it upsetting would be a perfectly socially acceptable comment. The same is true with sports.

It's also occured to me that sport isn't the only area where a minimum standard is needed. I'm pretty sure, as someone with very limited ability to play a musical instrument, I couldn't rock up to a decent orchestra and expect them to let me join them and play in concerts. If they told me I wasn't up to their standard and suggested I got lessons instead, would anyone describe them as being cliquey and discouraging participation in music?

It's true, if you turned up to enter an orchestra or even a local rock band, and weren't really up to the mark, then you'd not get the gig.

But 18 months down the line is a bit late to discover there is supposedly a country mile between her standard and the rest.
They should have raised this issue at the end of the first season.
Now they've come too far, so have to wait until the end of the current season - fair enough. But they still have to decide if they are in it for pure pleasure, or for real competition. If it's the latter, then it should affect all, and nobody should be safe in the team.

Totally agree Torn. Our tennis club specifically states it's looking for members who are league-standard. So if someone wants to join but is significantly below that standard, it's entirely reasonable imo to tell them and suggest a social club that would suit them better. But it's far more difficult to tell someone who's been a member for 18 months and paid their fees throughout this time to leave suddenly. And as the OP hasn't returned, we don't know what was said when the team began - it makes a huge difference if it was billed as a competitive team for playing in a league or if it was described as "come along and have fun playing netball, all welcome".

That's mean! Surely the point of the group is fun and gradual improvement. She probably dealt with such bitchiness at school! Have a heart

🏀 is that not a netball? Sure what you posted was a football. Bet the shit girl knows that much

Basketball that.
No bloody wonder the sport's gone to pot

I was closer than the OP 😎

What does a netball look like?

I've no clue - the b'stards won't pass it to me to have a look

I think that at it's heart, this is a thread about "winning" or "taking part".

Neither are intrinsically wrong. There are arguments for and against on both sides.

Both have ben argued on here. I have my own views.

But at 214 posts with a missing OP, it's an interesting debate, but not an aibu

Triathlons all the way .... I used to race in the 90s when the sport was growing and I am certainly no great athlete, but I never encountered any prejudice based on athletic ability. The sport has always been supportive of women and older athletes and people who just want to take part.

TornFromTheInside

I've no clue - the b'stards won't pass it to me to have a look

Well if you will keep dropping it, what do you expect?

I need to shave my hairy legs and get used to wearing a skirt first! Then I'll work on my ball catching skills! Think they spot me as a ringer?

*Unless you are the person that is "rubbish" and wants to get better.

There has to be a pay off between the two. Or where will the new players come from*

But some people don’t get better. That’s the point. 18 months is plenty of time for her to improve.

In a sport where catching is key, if she can’t do that why should the rest of the team suffer? There’s nothing worse than passing drills that go “pass, pass, pass, drop” ad infinitum!

'Ad infinitum' - Miss Trunchball... there's a song in this for you somewhere. Move over hammer-throwing!

The OP's post isn't far off Miss TB's sentiments (as conveyed in this witty song):

Obviously the language you used in your Brexit example would be unacceptable, but saying that you'd like to change the subject because you find it upsetting would be a perfectly socially acceptable comment. The same is true with sports.

@CornishYarg Not sure asking her to leave the team is the same as saying "let's change the subject". I think it's more akin to saying "Please stay out of this conversation as you're clearly too stupid to join in". Asking to change the subject would be the equivalent of playing a different game.

The orchestra analogy is an interesting one, but then I think (not an instrument player, so happy to be corrected) that they have either an audition process or a minimum grade requirement for you to join, so it's pretty clear what the standard required is. If this club is a "takes all comers" set up, then that's what they should expect. Sounds like it's the OP who needs to look for another club.

I think that at it's heart, this is a thread about "winning" or "taking part"

Alternatively it's a thread about having good competitive games or having purely 'fun' games.

I play sports competitively. I do NOT play to win. I play competitively because I like a good battle. When I play I like to play against people or teams who are better than me as it's more fun to try and beat them.

I also play some sports on a 'taking part' basis. I love those sports too but it's different.

Playing netball with a team player who can't catch sounds awful. It's meant to be a fast paced game. It be ok in a beginners group but not in a league game.

Very nasty, and sounds like you haven't left the playground yet, despite being an adult. This kind of attitude, puts people off sport, and it is not acceptable. Why can't she play for enjoyment, are you in a professional team, if not, yabvvvv, nasty. Your post says a lot about the type of person you are, start changing fast.

Why can't she play for enjoyment, are you in a professional team, if not, yabvvvv, nasty

Why? Why is her desire to play for enjoyment more important than others desire to play with competent players?

Saying you can only play competitively and to a high standard if you’re professional is nonsense.

I think it depends on what level the team is, and what the status quo was when starting up. The orchestra analogy doesn't work because you know the standard before you sign up and your only allowed in if good enough in the first place.

If this is a new team I'm guessing they're not at a particularly high level, and I suspect they are losing for a multitude of reasons but blaming it on this one woman.

Its fine to say someone is not up to the standard of the team if a) everyone's also at risk of not being good enough and b) they have always known the standard of the team, there should be some kind of trial to decide who is good enough. I also think potentially she could still turn up to training, but not play for the team until she (and other players) are up to the correct standard. I also think as a new team, being exclusive so early on might be detrimental as you will need new players regularly if you are going to start trialing. I also suspect once she is gone someone else will have to be the "weakest link" I.e the person we all bitch about.

This reminds me a little of primary school, I was sporty and played for a lot of school teams (which surprisingly wasn't that difficult ). They had a rule that boys teams had to include 2 girls. So I faithfully went along as one of the 2 girls to all sorts of sports events, some I was crap at yes, but it was primary school. At one sport the boys told me I was shit and was the reason they were losing and I should leave, except they forgot that without me they wouldn't have a team because they didn't have enough girls! I had gone along as a favour so they could put together a team and it was bloody primary school! It was so annoying, I've never forgiven them . I was also relegated to the b team at secondary school netball when the popular girls decided that actually it was a cool sport and they wanted to play. More fool them because b team were actually better than a team.