To ask a girl to leave our netball team?

[Missjb87]

I've been playing netball in an organised league for 1.5 seasons. I initially joined alongside a group of strangers and we've stayed on as a team and paid for a 2nd season.

We're all of a similar level aside from 1 girl who really struggles to catch and hasn't improved since we started. She's ruining the enjoyment of the game for everyone but recognise she's paid up to the end of this season so persevere with her.

Would it be unreasonable to start a new team without her in it next season/ask her to leave? And if so, how should we go about it?

what if you are next weakest link? You'll be gone by this time next year

To be fair to her, the OP isn't suggesting they ask this "girl" to leave simply because she's the weakest link. It's because her standard is significantly below everyone else's which will really affect the flow of their games.

I play tennis competitively at a club where we have a range of abilities and teams in different divisions. But the club does have a minimum required standard because, as a pp said, a significantly weaker player does completely unbalance a game. (Although as has been pointed out, it's far more noticeable in a tennis pairing than in a team of 7.) It's not about winning or losing; the best games at training, both in terms of enjoyment and match prep, are close ones regardless of the final result.

If someone doesn't meet the minimum standard, the people who run our club suggest a nearby social club instead. Your problem, OP, is that it's one thing to say this to someone who's just come along for a trial, but it's really mean when she's been part of the team for so long. I like the idea of trying to recruit more people so you can have another lower standard team.

Why are people still responding when the op has clearly registered to post this and then left?!

It’s the equivalent of farting in a lift then stepping out and letting the doors close behind you

Well I can see both sides here. My gs plays football and omg the horrible behaviour of some of the teams encouraged by the awful parents is a sight to behold. The two teams everyone wants to join simply because they win everything are the two teams I would never, ever let them play for. Watching the parents project their aspirations onto the kids each rainy Saturday, screaming and swearing. Nice.

That said my gs played for the league winners but after the season decided to leave for a more average team. We told him he wouldn't bring home trophies but it is a more friendly team. They are very mixed ability and yes, this brings about frustration from the more competent players. But this is down to the manager who gives up his time voluntarily. The less able players always get to play in the game but dont have a lot of pitch time but they are part of the team.

If the op is in some kind of league and they want to win, then there is perhaps an issue. I cannot see why she is less entitled to train and enjoy the sport with the team, but the ethos of the team should be made clear from the outset. Eg at the former club gs played for we got a newsletter stating that it would be more ability based as they entered a higher level thus letting everyone know the score. Everyone welcome at training.

I feel really sorry for this woman op.

The sporting person in me says kick her out. However, the human being says let her stay.

If your in the situation that your turning into a good team and this one person is letting you down, have you considered starting a new team (trains the same days etc) and have 2 teams. One with players who aren't that great, but who WANT to play, and the other for the more capable team. Let both teams enter comps and leagues, which are suited to their ability.

Good timing. I was thinking of taking up netball again since not playing since school. I've played hockey all my life but am getting too old for it now. But now I've remembered why it was hockey I stuck with instead of netball.

FYI. England Hockey is encouraging people to try hockey or get back to it. Google HockeyFest for more information if you're looking for a fun team sport.

What are you on about ShirleyPhallus - she posted her op at 21.38 last night, not several days ago and then nothing

I’m a coach of a different sport.

I do one session a week that’s available to all, one that is for the better players and it’s clear from the start that I don’t pick players to take part in competitive fixtures to “have a go”.

There’s nothing wrong in playing to win provided that the ethos of the team is clear from when people sign up.

OP could you advertise for two teams? A 1st team, then an open train-on squad?

I very much belief that the “English” sports mantra of “its the taking part that counts” and “everyone is a winner” contributes to our real lack of competition on a world stage.

...the kind of pain that people carry for the rest of their lives.

Seriously? Being asked to join a different sports team because you’re not at the right level? It’s not like losing both parents on the Titanic, is it?

Men (including kids: see the recent post from the lady whose teenage sons play competitive football) deal with this all the time without ‘carrying the pain for the rest of their lives’. They just, you know, get over it.

Is this really how grown ups carry on? Somebody asks for advice on a matter that stirs a painful memory (“the bitchy girls at school once told me I was rubbish at rounders! My life was ruined!”) and you feel justified in savaging the OP because you have ‘carried the pain all your life’?

That is chilling.

At the grass roots level it should very much be about encouraging participation. Everyone was a beginner once, and if you shut off sport for beginners and improvers you just end up with a a much smaller pool of good players who may then go on to compete at higher levels.

There is no harm in having a team which plays competitively, but you need to cater for others too, rather than just running a little exclusive gang. Run a second team, run specific beginner sessions and get people involved. Turning someone away because they aren't up to a certain standard is a dick move.

And before anybody jumps in and starts punishing me for the ‘pain they have carried all their lives’, I am distinctly average at netball, tennis etc and I was not a ‘mean girl’ at school. In fact, I was often whinged at for missing shots at goal but you know, I just GOT OVER IT!

Nettletheelf

Seriously? Being asked to join a different sports team because you’re not at the right level? It’s not like losing both parents on the Titanic, is it?

good use of over emotional imagery :)

It depends how its done, you can either do it in a nice, sensible and supportive way or you can do it in a horrible nasty way.

Either way this is done I suspect that the fallout will be someone that probably won't play a team sport again.

I’m loving the irony of the...methods some posters here are using to accuse the OP of being bitchy.

Insight is a wonderful thing.

netball was for queen bees at school and looks like nothing changes. team sport, my arse.

hope she finds a sport where people are welcoming ,not this shitty playground game.

I didn't savage the OP. My comment was definitely one of the kinder and more constructive ones!

But yes, I stand by what I said- being effectively told that you're so shit that the rest of your friendly social team can't bear to play with you is absolutely the sort of thing people remember their whole lives with a stab of pain. As the huge number of replies here referencing mean girls/school playground/school sports attests to.

If you don't have a crystal clear memory of a cruel incident inflicted on you then you must be either very lucky or have the skin of a rhino.

As the huge number of replies here referencing mean girls/school playground/school sports attests to.

Yet many of the comments to the OP are deliberately meant to be hurtful. Incredibly hypocritical.

Run a second team, run specific beginner sessions and get people involved

Ideally yes, but this involves additional time and/or money which sports clubs and teams are usually very short on. Most clubs are run by people in their spare time so you need someone willing to give up some more time or pay for a coach. Plus there's the cost of extra court time. May well be worth investing in if you have several weaker players, but not really feasible for one or two individuals.

Yes, and the way to get that extra money is to encourage more players who then pay membership fees to cover the cost of the sessions for them.

Or you can just exclude people and participation in sport continues it's steady decline.

“There is no harm in having a team which plays competitively, but you need to cater for others too, rather than just running a little exclusive gang.”

Why? Is it because she’s got a fanny that she mustn’t be allowed to do stuff just for her own benefit?

I don’t believe the OP ever said the team was started as a sports participation charity.

If you want a competitive team, all positions must be open to being usurped by better players.
If you want a team where a poor player is asked to leave, but then the search for better players stops, you have a clique.

Why? Because there is a difference between running a club, which will be the case if they are playing in an organised league to having a laugh with your friends down the park.

If you run a club and open it up to the public, charging fees etc you can't then say 'oh, sorry, you aren't good enough to be in our gang, so fuck off.' Aside from that being an incredibly poor attitude, it's not a sustainable way to operate a club.

What happens when a couple of the good players leave, and the club has established a reputation as one not to bother joining due to the way it is run? Everyone is a beginner once, that person who can't catch 6 months down the road might become your star player.

I've not read all the replies but.....

I play in several netball leagues - both social and competitive.

In our social team, we were all mainly strangers. We had a lady join whose coordination wasn't great the first season. She struggled with catching, footwork, obstruction all the time. We made a point to NOT sub her as much as the experienced players if we could help it.
Season 2, she slightly improved, footwork much better, but still probably the 'weakest' member of the team. We kept her on, we coached her, we encouraged her.

We have just won the league in Season 4. We couldn't have done it without her. She has come on so much! She is no longer a 'weak' member of the team. Her confidence is through the roof. She is an amazing WD.

If you ask her to leave, you will destroy that poor girl. Please help her, encourage her, and all of a sudden it will click. She will get there!!

Imagine how deflated and hurt she would feel if you told her to leave?
She's probably doing it as a social thing to boost her confidence, although if I was her and I knew how the rest of you felt I'd just walk away and find a more welcoming group/ social activity.
Are you all teenagers? That's how you sound.
Reminds me of my old PE lessons and that sinking feeling of being last to be picked for the team!!
Put yourself in her shoes and show some sensitivity.

Anybody who plays sport will be familiar with the selection process and the ups and downs of being picked or dropped from teams. I've spent hours consoling my son when he not made the cut for a particular squad. But he kept playing coz he loved the sport.
But there is a difference between her turning up for training but never being picked and being told bluntly she is no longer welcome. I've never come across a club where people are told they are not welcome. They turn up, train, but never get selected and then decide for themselves of they want to stay on those terms.

Kid Yes, and the way to get that extra money is to encourage more players who then pay membership fees to cover the cost of the sessions for them.

As I said, it's worth investing in if you have a reasonable number of beginners and upthread I said it would be a good idea if the OP's team tried to recruit more players so they can run a second team. The problem is that it can be a bit of a chicken and egg situation unless you're successful in attracting several new beginners straight away. The club may well be unable to afford the extra beginner sessions until there's a reasonable number of beginners, but it's hard to attract beginners without having a session for them.

*If you run a club and open it up to the public, charging fees etc you can't then say 'oh, sorry, you aren't good enough to be in our gang, so fuck off.' Aside from that being an incredibly poor attitude, it's not a sustainable way to operate a club.

What happens when a couple of the good players leave, and the club has established a reputation as one not to bother joining due to the way it is run? Everyone is a beginner once, that person who can't catch 6 months down the road might become your star player.*

It's a real balancing act in my experience. At a previous club I was a member of, they decided to allow beginners to join and several of the better players ended up leaving due to the fall in the standard of the training sessions. Yes, the beginners paid fees but so did the better players and their feelings also have to be taken into account. (The club ended up folding because of this which is how I ended up at my current club.)

I totally see your point of view and it's an issue our club regularly grapples with. Just trying to explain some of the difficulties I've personally encountered.

True, but if you turn away any potential new members because they are not good enough, you are never going to expand your club. It's the difference between one person going off and saying to their mates 'Come and play netball, it's really fun and everyone is really welcoming' or 'Don't join that club, they are a bunch of unwelcoming snobs'.

Reputations for things like this are vital, and spread really quickly. A club thrives by being inclusive, welcoming and catering for as many people as possible. That's not to say there can't be a separation within that club of experienced players vs beginners.