To think kids miss out these days?

[jelly449]

Last week I went out with my dad for a meal. My aunt came too and I hasn't seen her for 6/7 years as she moved abroad.

Dad and aunty spent most of the night talking about what they got up too as kids. We're talking 1960's.

They honestly had the best childhood even though times were hard. They had no money - my grandad walked out on my grandma and she worked literally all the hours she could.

My grandma basically used to 'chuck them out after breakfast' - dads words - and him and my aunty wouldn't come home until tea time.

They spent the summer holidays playing in farmers fields, building dens, biking to here there and everywhere, waiting for the trains to pass etc. They even used to build their own dens and camp out on them in the middle of the woods. I'm guessing they were between the ages of 8 and 14/15. Dad started working at 14.

My aunty also mentioned the one holiday they all had at a caravan park. But it had no toilet and it was quite a walk to the outside ones. They thought it was great. Going to the toilet was a massive adventure for them. In all honesty....my dcs would moan at staying in a caravan with no toilet.

They had some stories to tell and they were all amazing.

My dcs won't have any of these stories to tell. Literally none. My dcs aren't even allowed to leave the front garden.

Dd is currently up in her room watching you tube. Ds is watching a film. They've only met up with their friends a handful of times this summer as everyone is abroad.

Just sat here thinking how times really have changed

P.s regarding the 'chuck them out after breakfast' comment - my grandma was ace, she was very set in her ways though. I remember staying at hers over night once and she made me stay in the garden all day and play. I remember thinking 'wtf am I supposed to do our here, I'm coming in when home and away is on at lunch time' so even I'm guilty of it lol

Housework, caring for babies, doing homework such as sewing - a lot of factories had a lot of woman homeworkers then.

Wtf were the parents doing all day while the kids were chucked out?

Most kids weren't chucked out, most had the option of going out or staying in but chose going out 'cos playing with friends was more fun. There's been a lot of suggestion on the thread about how it's better now 'cos the neglectful parents aren't abandoning their kids to being out playing with their friends. That's possibly true, but what our these neglectful parents doing now, the neglectful parent will likely still exist, the kids may well desire the chance to escape from that home.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UAQZaUixmpA

This is one of the public service information films I watched at school in the 70s.

At the end it lists all the children who had been killed in farming accidents that year. Very sad

Mine were working and mum was doing housework, washing clothes took an age with a twin tub and a mangle for sheets etc cooking from scratch every mealtime, sewing clothes and working from home too.

What did your patents do all day?

sirfred exactly, we played outside, but also in the house. All my friends were not chucked out either, but playing outside was fun when there was a few hours of kids tv on.

ineedaholiday Some of my family have been farmers for generations. Those kids largely were not playing out. They were working on the farm. DP was working on the family farm from a very young age. And yes one of his siblings broke an arm on the farm when working.

DP himself as a teenager drove a tractor that turned over. He could easily have been one of those kids killed on a farm. Farming is dangerous, and was even more so in the past with less sophisticated tractors and machinery.
Generally kids that were not working on the farm were well off kids who were spending their time doing things like horse riding. Also a dangerous past time.

Isn't that why schools have long summer holidays, so historically children could help with the harvest?

Sort of confirms that some people look back with rose tinted glasses.

We were definitely chucked out - mum and did jobs inside or outside, sat down mid morning for coffee and newspaper.
I remember being SO hungry before each meal.

Yes, way back kids helped with the harvest. By the 60s, only kids on small family farms did so.

DS is only 2 so isn't allowed out on his own yet, but I do think it depends where you live. I live rurally in a small village in north Wales and when me and DS go for a wander, I always enjoy seeing the older children out and about, especially over the summer holidays. At the moment, there are often groups of children with their bikes down by the river (maybe between 12 and 15 years old?) and then other groups down by the lake messing about on the pontoons. I appreciate that there is danger involved there, but it's better than being sat inside, surely? I always think it is nice to see that they WANT to be outside, and hope that DS feels the same when he's older.

Harvest is Sept at the earliest, sometimes start of October when kids are back at school.
They may have been harvesting blackberries or other fruits though, i suppose.

If I had the choice of being out from dawn until dusk building dens;

Or 500 TV channels, Netflix, YouTube, Nintendo, Ebay, Pinterest, shopping centres, theme parks, cat cafes, adventure playgrounds, soft play, water parks etc etc I would most definitely pick the latter.

Exactly, Name. It's 2018, not 1960. Times move on. A lot of rose-tinted glasses and cherry picked nostalgia on here.

Interesting though, Namechange, every single one of the latter cost money!

I was going to say nearly, but then I remembered, when I was living in London, the council deciding to charge for the adventure playground.

Hate these posts. Akin to "we didn't have seatbelts and used to just sit in the back of a van". Yeah, ok. I'll strap my child into his car seat, thank you very much.

I grew up in a small village (childhood late 90's) and was allowed to go out on my bike with a friend etc. But it wasn't far, and it was safe.

I was going to add to the list family friendly pubs, Pizza Hut and the like.

They do all cost money that is true, people are coming up with evermore imaginative ways to entertain families, trampoline parks, fancy rock climbing places, inflatable theme parks.

A lot of it is a rip off, we were on holiday recently and felt compelled to do all the touristy stuff and local 'attractions'. However looking at the prices we ended up not bothering and the most fun we had was playing on the beach and in the sea.

I hate to be a clique but I think it's just about having balance. I love that we have all of these options available to us and I wouldn't swap my modern conveniences, but kids to need to learn to entertain themselves and use their imaginations.

DH had this kind of childhood in a suburban area in the 80/90s. His story's of playing on building sites/in abandoned mills, exploring underground outlet pipes and cycling into the city centre at primary school age on the 4 lane ring road horrify me. He was also groomed and abused by local men from preschool age. In contrast I grew up on a farm in the same era, we were not allowed out the garden without supervision until our teens, but had a very rural outdoors lifestyle, walking, building dens, playing in fields/woods with age appropriate levels of supervision. We helped on the farm from a very young age in risk assessed and supervised activities, but we're very aware of the dangers around us with DM frequently reminding us of incidents where children had been killed when playing on farms and how to stay safe.

I was horrified when I moved to an urban area to see children playing out in the street. In our area they start playing out in the cul-de-sac from about 4/5 when they start school and some have no road sense at all.

Not sure how we will approach things with ours as all the other children play out. DH is very conscious of protecting them from potential abuse/dangers due to his own childhood and doesn't want them to have a similar childhood to him.

I suppose children do use their imagination these days, but in different ways e.g. Minecraft.

DH and I certainly spend more time with DS(13) than either of our parents did with us. We tend to prioritise family time over housework/DIY eg this afternoon we have spent together doing a jigsaw puzzle. DH and DS also spent some time together on PS4 this morning. When I was a similar age DM would have been doing housework/cooking/gardening and DF would have found some DIY to do. DB and I would have had some chores to do and then would have been mainly left to our own devices (which usually involved us falling out!) We would have had some family time together but not as much. DH in particular, when not working (he does quite long hours) will try and spend as much free time with DS. They are currently planning to do some wild camping in the next few days

I was discussing this very issue recently with my dc aged 17, 15 and 11. I was born in 1972 and I did have quite a lot of freedom, played outside with local friends etc.

But as for all day den building - all day, really?? Even without all the media we have nowadays there was still a lot of fun to be had at home - reading, drawing/making things, playing board games, playing with dolls, cuddling up with mum watching a bit of TV etc. Why don't the all day den builders get told they're missing out on these things??

Maybe cos we did both Dancer?

If it was a hot summers day we didnt want to be in the house! Ee eanted to be out on our bikes swimming at the river, playing at the park, etc etc

I had plenty time with my mum at home too baking, jigsaws, board games etc.

may have been harvesting blackberries or other fruits though, i suppose.

We also spent summers at 'the berries' picking strawberries and rasps earning our own money. It was good fun.

Nobody is saying things were perfect for everyine. Nobody is saying seatbelts are not important so why are people being so angry at those of us who did have great childhoods? Its not our fault you didnt. 1

we wanted to be out...

I do think there are huge benefits for children and adults to spend time in nature.
I think we did spend longer outside in generations past but as long as there is still some balance, I don’t think children today are missing out.
There are a lot of initiatives to highlight the kind of outdoor play children should be doing like climbing trees or building a den. There’s definitely still a place for all that.
Kids have that and so much more now and I’d never swap.

Kids used to have their own culture and secret life separate from adults. That has gone in some countries.

I'm not angry with you Willow and I enjoyed my childhood, but with hindsight there was a lot of lax parenting, and less time for parents to just sit and play with their children, especially Dads.

Another thing to bear in mind was in the 60s and earlier childhood was shorter than it is now, especially if you didn't go through the Grammar school system. My MIL tells me she was discouraged from doing well in the 11+, as she was never going to have a career, as she was just going to get married and have babies. Both MIL and FIL finished school and went to work at 15 (think school leaving age changed from 14 in the 1940s) Looking at DS(13) I couldn't imagine him having to go into full time employment in a years time

I like to think DS will still have happy times to tell about his childhood and that he is not missing out.

I can remember when we were at school having to write about things we thought might happen in 2000 (I was at Primary school in the 70s) Things we could only dream about especially in respect of technology are now reality for our children. Do you think if they had been available for children in the 50s/60s children would still have preferred to be outside all the time? Some would, as they are nowadays, but I am sure many would have preferred to have access to technology.

But not everyone was talking about leaving school at15 in the 50s/60s.
Nobody is saying thats a good thing.
We are remembering specifics of our own childhood which has nothing to do with 'lax parenting' which stills goes on today no matter how we have 'progressed'.

My kids have had good childhoods outside and still use tech its not one or the other.

It all depends on where you lived and the 'norm' for that place and time. Kids in my village still roam around outside its perfectly normal here. Just cos it doesnt happen elsewhere doesnt make it wrong or not true.

We dont have grammer schools in scotland so thats not an issue either. My parents both started work early too but that has nothing to do with my childhood. I cant change that nor am i saying it was ok.

I didnt mean you personally but a lot of posters are being pretty nasty to people who have said they had a good childhood. Its like "I didnt so you must be lying or neglected." Neither of which is true.