To think kids miss out these days?

[jelly449]

Last week I went out with my dad for a meal. My aunt came too and I hasn't seen her for 6/7 years as she moved abroad.

Dad and aunty spent most of the night talking about what they got up too as kids. We're talking 1960's.

They honestly had the best childhood even though times were hard. They had no money - my grandad walked out on my grandma and she worked literally all the hours she could.

My grandma basically used to 'chuck them out after breakfast' - dads words - and him and my aunty wouldn't come home until tea time.

They spent the summer holidays playing in farmers fields, building dens, biking to here there and everywhere, waiting for the trains to pass etc. They even used to build their own dens and camp out on them in the middle of the woods. I'm guessing they were between the ages of 8 and 14/15. Dad started working at 14.

My aunty also mentioned the one holiday they all had at a caravan park. But it had no toilet and it was quite a walk to the outside ones. They thought it was great. Going to the toilet was a massive adventure for them. In all honesty....my dcs would moan at staying in a caravan with no toilet.

They had some stories to tell and they were all amazing.

My dcs won't have any of these stories to tell. Literally none. My dcs aren't even allowed to leave the front garden.

Dd is currently up in her room watching you tube. Ds is watching a film. They've only met up with their friends a handful of times this summer as everyone is abroad.

Just sat here thinking how times really have changed

P.s regarding the 'chuck them out after breakfast' comment - my grandma was ace, she was very set in her ways though. I remember staying at hers over night once and she made me stay in the garden all day and play. I remember thinking 'wtf am I supposed to do our here, I'm coming in when home and away is on at lunch time' so even I'm guilty of it lol

Whilst some of the parenting choices of the ‘60’s and ‘70’s were questionable, I’m a child of that era and was outside a lot but loved it, I think that children holed up in their rooms playing games etc is just as questionable.

A five year old is very young to be out unsupervised most of the day tbh. Not meaning to sound like an arse there.

Ifailed obviously, most kids survived. But roads weren’t as busy anyway. In any event though, I do think sending very young children out to do whenever wherever is asking for trouble. In my case, if you asked my mum (who is dead anyway but putting that aside ) she would genuinely believe I was out playing having a lovely time for my childhood.

What I remember is being frequently bored shitless and getting into trouble as a result of that boredom, being ganged up on my other kids and being bullied, sometimes ganging up on other kids and bullying them (not proud of it) a few minor-ish sexual assaults that I didn’t tell anyone about because really what was anyone going to do, several near death experiences, not having a drink from breakfast until around one o clock and then no more fluids until six.

It’s not a rosy, feel good, warm experience for everybody. In general, obvious dangers aside, I just tend to think groups of young children need a bit of supervision - not breathing down necks but a watchful eye - to protect them from one another as much as anything else!

Gosh, add them to the ones who got crushed by cows or abducted and murdered, it's a wonder how anyone survived.

I’m sure your sarcasm is a wonderful comfort to those who lost children/siblings in such circumstances.

Some will have drowned, some will have been killed by a cow in a field, some will have been hit by a car, some will have been abducted and murdered.

I had a discussion with a friend about this whose mum lived where I currently live as there were a couple of child murders while she was growing up. Anyway the rates of child abduction and murder haven't actually gone up since the 50s it is just that we have 24 hour news now plus the internet, so hear the stories more often.

And I find the thought of cows killing children amusing as I've only heard of them going after adults with dogs on leads and killing a couple of them because they refused to let go of the lead.

I always like to point to infant mortality rates when I see arguments like this that claim the good ol' days were better. You might think they were better, but they weren't great for all the kids that died and their grieving parents.

I think statistically child abduction by strangers was once more common, tbh.

I can only think off the top of my head of five under 12s abducted and murdered since 2000 in the U.K. (I could be wrong.) I can think of loads from the 70s and 80s.

is this a city/country thing?

our parents would never have chucked us out. those who did, yes, they did end up having sex in car parks when they were 14. Okay, fine if you enjoyed it and you didn't get pregnant...but some of those kids would come to our house, other days just didn't have anywhere to go.

good route to dealing for some of them...does not sound remotely good to me.

And I find the thought of cows killing children amusing

I know, it’s fucking hilarious.

And I find the thought of cows killing children amusing as I've only heard of them going after adults with dogs on leads and killing a couple of them because they refused to let go of the lead.

nu uh! Cows are scary.

Cows, maybe not, although a lot of children were seriously injured and killed from playing on farms.

Lots of traffic fatalities and death from drowning, though.

Cow with a calf?? Don’t even go near! Neighbour (adult, farmer, his own cow) was killed by a cow. He had 3 sons who worked on the farm with him as children, could as easily have been one of them or me when I was up visiting.

I live on a farm and always have done and my childhood was like this! I have two daughters age 6 an 5 and although they’re only allowed a certain distance from the house at the moment by themselves, give it a few years and they’ll be off with their friends riding bikes wherever/building dens/picking blackberry’s etc by themselves!

I feel like most people look back on their childhood with rose tinted glasses and nostalgia, and would say their ‘era’ was the best.

Im 47 and had that childhood. Lots wonderful memories with the neighbourkids we all grew up with. No rose tinted specs for me, it was great.

My kids (25,16,10) have had that kind of childhood. Not chucked out obviously but the freedom to play outside. Its a bit of both and I think some people have went the opposite way, so much paranoi and lack of freedom for some children as they grow up.

ll my childhood in the 80s was pretty damm good.
We were out all summer swimming in rivers padfling in burns. Long bike rides. Playing in the gatden. We had endless imagination bikes necame horses (complete with rope reins) we went to the beach, pool into town, made dens, rope swings, jad a bike track in the woods etc.

Nobody ever got crushed by a cow or died of boredom. We hung about in small groups just chatting. Never got in trouble we just talked for hours sitting on a wide corner in the village. Everyone spoke as they went past..
Then there was he chippy at night where we all met up.

My kids have done much the same.

My parents didnt have much either and i wasnt 'chucked out' if it was bad weather we played indoors no problem. And they were interested when i was bullied at school and were fantastic parents thank you.

Maybe not everyine had great childhoods but some of us did especially in rural areas and there is no need to try to spoil good memories.

I get what you mean OP. I mean, my childhood was lonely and shit, but some of the best moments I had was when I was out on my own hikes, building camps etc. I'd just take a book and go read in a tree. I want my kids to at least enjoy stuff like camping and that and try to create memories that mean something for them. We never had holidays, but as we're not bothered about going abroad we want to at least try and having "adventures" in the UK with the kids. Who knows, hopefully they'll enjoy it!

Stupid phone 70s not 80s

My kids have a free range life but we live in the countryside with lots of off road access to walks and rides. We work from home so they can come and go as they please (16 and 13 so not very young). My childhood was the same as I was raised by my grand parents in the countryside for a little while and some one was always home. The kids that just got chucked out though, I remember them. They certainly were not having a great time, with no money in their pockets for food and nothing to do if no one was around. They really did depend on the kindness of others, like my Granny.

Well, yes but . . . we didn't know what a paedophile was but we were warned about not accepting sweets from or getting into a car with strangers (hardly anyone had a car in the 60's) and there were loads of housewives watching out of their windows and may have spotted something amiss.

However, if a child complained of a something like a headteacher putting his hand up your knickers no-one believed you. This happened to me and I wasn't terribly traumatised about it but I might as well have been speaking about unicorns or mermaids - the general public simply weren't ready to accept that this stuff and much worse actually happened.

On balance it's probably better that many of us are less ignorant now.

I completely agree with you OP. My children, now grown up, played out and made dens in the fields near where we lived then. I was out all day with friends in the school holidays, and my parents and grandparents of course probably had even more freedom than I did.

Sadly this is the first generation of children who are not having a proper childhood.
It horrifies me to think of them spending their free time staring at a phone or computer screen.

So, why is this?

Obviously traffic has increased, but how about those who live in rural areas? Are their children allowed out or are the mothers terrified of paedophiles?

Maybe this is why we see so many fat children these days.

I was a child in the '40s and we were even more 'wild'. Very little adult supervision, especially in wartime.
My children in the 60s used be out all day but I didn't chuck them out, they wanted to go. If I was at work they had their own key.
The big difference now imo is the volume of road traffic . It frightens me too.

I had that childhood in the 70s & 80s
We were lucky as we had friends the same age up the road.
We had to cross a busyish road to get to the huge park across the way, ,but there was just not as much traffic.

I lived in London and had to walk my 5yo sister to school and on to mine aged 8. Parellel to a busy road in South London.
My mum had a baby at home but just couldn't be arsed either.
I was abused by the son of my mums friend when they were in the house and the plumber when my mum was in the house. Don#t know if she was naive or neglectful. I was 8.

Kids even these days are more at risk from people they know than complete strangers

Bluebug

Cattle don’t “go after” children or adults or dogs. They get spooked or excited and stampede. Which can obviously kill or seriously injure anything in their path. How odd that you find a terrible yet avoidable accident funny.

In answer to the whole thread, I do think children need to be more protected than they were in the 60s, 70s etc. Some children were out and out neglected and it was accepted and normalised in society simply because children were seen as lesser citizens. These days, no sector of society should be seen as deserving poorer treatment.

However, this better supervision and understanding of safety must be balanced with devloping important life skills such as independence and, most importantly in my opinion, risk assessment. By risk assessment I mean promoting a child’s sense of what they are physically capable of and what they deem to risky to attempt and also in terms of interacting with society. I think we have a much tougher job these days as parents - we have to help our children develop these skills whilst protecting them.

I think ‘terrified of paedophiles’ is misleading.

I am not ‘terrified’ of paedophiles.

I am aware (big difference) that many people will exploit, take advantage of and harm an unsupervised child. So I supervise mine.

My kids do get a lot of freedom to do as they please in the holidays and indeed disappear outdoors for much of the day. I think in the past some parents went too far on this score and had no idea where their kids were when they were quite young, and were actually rather neglectful. The 1970s health and safety films about not going off with strangers, not climbing pylons or playing on railway tracks were created because kids were actually roaming around doing these things and having horrible accidents. I think my kids have a nice balance now, thank you.