To think kids miss out these days?

[jelly449]

Last week I went out with my dad for a meal. My aunt came too and I hasn't seen her for 6/7 years as she moved abroad.

Dad and aunty spent most of the night talking about what they got up too as kids. We're talking 1960's.

They honestly had the best childhood even though times were hard. They had no money - my grandad walked out on my grandma and she worked literally all the hours she could.

My grandma basically used to 'chuck them out after breakfast' - dads words - and him and my aunty wouldn't come home until tea time.

They spent the summer holidays playing in farmers fields, building dens, biking to here there and everywhere, waiting for the trains to pass etc. They even used to build their own dens and camp out on them in the middle of the woods. I'm guessing they were between the ages of 8 and 14/15. Dad started working at 14.

My aunty also mentioned the one holiday they all had at a caravan park. But it had no toilet and it was quite a walk to the outside ones. They thought it was great. Going to the toilet was a massive adventure for them. In all honesty....my dcs would moan at staying in a caravan with no toilet.

They had some stories to tell and they were all amazing.

My dcs won't have any of these stories to tell. Literally none. My dcs aren't even allowed to leave the front garden.

Dd is currently up in her room watching you tube. Ds is watching a film. They've only met up with their friends a handful of times this summer as everyone is abroad.

Just sat here thinking how times really have changed

P.s regarding the 'chuck them out after breakfast' comment - my grandma was ace, she was very set in her ways though. I remember staying at hers over night once and she made me stay in the garden all day and play. I remember thinking 'wtf am I supposed to do our here, I'm coming in when home and away is on at lunch time' so even I'm guilty of it lol

I do know that during the 80s and 90s children were killed in abductions.

It’s very, very rare but what isn’t so rare are the children who were sexually abused and survived.

But like here why the fuck was a three year old out alone?

peoplemaynoticeus that made me so sad.

I was a child of the 80s and my siblings and I used to run about in the woods, parks, etc all day. I see both sides. We had great fun, but definitely also had some perverts about flashing / making suggestions etc. Weirdly, when my mum was home we were out doing what we liked, and when she wasn't, there was a babysitter who wouldn't let us out without her.

I truly don't know what is for the best for my own children, who are both under ten years old. I want them to have the fun experiences that I had, but worry about their safety. I think the best I can do is to strike a balance and offer fun days out and not breathe down their necks all day. Some camping and days out with their grandparents, who often suggest things I wouldn't have thought of.

Also, I didn't know any children who weren't allowed to be at home or who were chucked out. We all phoned each other or knocked and asked to go out to play. Genuinely saddened by the kids chucked out. And the child mentioned by a previous poster, the one who died of meningitis. I expect his parents have never forgiven themselves.

It all sounds well and good... I know someone who was out playing with his friend (in the 70's) and his friends little brother tagged along, they were walking on the outside of a bridge and the little brother fell in the river and drowned. He tried to save him but he couldn't and had to live with that, and with people calling him a murderer for not saving him. I would rather know where my kids are thanks

I mean, need I go on? I don’t think playing outside from dawn till dusk and having little parental interaction is a particularly nice memory to have either if I’m being honest.

You are spectacularly missing the point as are other posters.
We were not all 'chucked out from dawn till dusk' we chose to go out and have fun.
I dont know one child who died over the sumer hols or was abducted or played on railway lines.
We never vandalised anything. Everyone in the village knew everyone else. Any adult was free to tell any child off if it was necessary😀 it was normal for us.

If it rained we played at each others houses. Or stayed home and played with toys or games.

My parents gave me plenty of attention. I baked and learned to cook with my mum from an early age and my dad taught me to drive and gave me my 1st car. We visited relatives and had days out. Hardly neglect.

I had to muck in and help with chores for pocket money and we didn't have much money to go around but we were very happy.

My parents worked hard and i dont consider thier life easy one bit but i had a lovely childhood based on what i experienced at home.

Not everyone on this thread has rose tinted glasses some of us did have great childhoods. Dont tar everyone with the same brush.

My kids have a fab outdoorsy life, surfing, running in sand dunes, playing in the garden on the trampoline, feeding our chickens blackberries, having sleepovers in the loft. Playing in the river with mates. Biking. But all supervised by us. Too dangerous these days with traffic not to have constant supervision (which means much more adult attention too).

Oh I just remembered after summer holiday there was usually a death announced at school assembly from someone drowning

If we take your 'usually' to mean 50% of the time, with over 24,000 schools in England alone that would represent 12,000 children drowning each year! I'm not sure about people wearing rose-tinted glasses, but some have some very dim ones on.

Life used to be much harder. The increase in mental health problems is partly down to recognition, but also a lack of resilience.

Oh, nonsense re lack of resilience. It's just an excuse for right wing, social Darwinist policies.

Well this post has certainly caused quite a stir....each to their own.

But just to clarify....when I've said my grandma used to chuck the kids out after breakfast....I don't mean literally. It's just the term my dad used and I honestly don't think for one second she would of forced them outside. Though she would of encouraged them. She was unbelievably caring and loving.

My grandma was diagnosed with MS at 14. She wasn't expected to live a long life but amazingly she did. Soon after her diagnosis, her mum was killed by a bus/tram. Not sure which.

A few years later she met my grandad. She had 3 children with him. When the youngest was 3 he left for another woman. No explanation but he took all the valuables with him - not that there was much but it did include the children's toys - and that was that. He was gone. Paid no money to my grandma, nothing. She was absolutely skint. She had to ask neighbours for left over food for a while.

My grandma worked full time and on nights she knitted clothes to sell. Dad said she would knit until 1/2am every night then be up at 6 for work.

In school holidays, she wouldn't work at her job but she carried on knitting. It was the only way she could make ends meet to provide for 3 kids. So this is why she will of encouraged my dad and aunty to play out. She was still working. Constantly.

Every time she earned enough she would replace a toy that my grandad took from them. However they never knew when her birthday was until they were older.

As she got older her ms got worse. Much worse. The kids obviously grew up and then looked after her.

The saddest part I'd say is she did forget how to communicate and socialise as she had no friends. No family except for the children.

She died when she was 83 and dedicated her body to science as she lived amazingly well with her illness.

She was an amazing woman and neglect is not a word to describe her as a mother. She had an incredibly tough life but her children were her absolute priority

I was born in 1970 and was allowed from about 9 to go and play on my bike/ call for friends. I always had to be back by a certain time, though, and definitely for lunch and tea. I think my experience was pretty standard ( large bill on outskirts of a town). I didn’t ever HAVE to go out.
I do think kids miss out on adventure and freedom today to a large extent. But the world has changed, partly for the better and partly for the worse.

large village not bill

Yeah but it’s awful people had to live like that.

Now, they don’t.

@Ifailed I didn't mean just drowning. Cars ran kids over. Once someone fell out a tree. It was a pretty usual after school holidays announcement. I went to a huge school. I remember after the headmaster announced that sadly one of the boys had died after summer someone shouted 'wanker' as well.

I know infant mortality has reduced a lot. And that child deaths from accidents has reduced - due to better medical treatment. And smoke alarms have reduced deaths from fires in the home. But is there any evidence that there are less serious accidents for children, outside the home?

I was at Primary school in the early 70s. The school was in what I suppose would be called a small dormer town and children also attended from the surrounding villages. It wasn't a huge school. I can remember at least 3 children in my class over the time I was at the school being hit by cars whilst playing outside. 1 ended up with a broken arm, another with a broken leg and unfortunately the third died a few years after sustaining horrific injuries and being in a coma

I can remember the police coming to see our class when the young lad had broken his leg. He called the boy out and I thought he was going to be sympathetic to him, like we had all been, when he had come back to school. Instead he shouted at him and told him how stupid he had been to play in the road. I'll never forget that, and I will certainly not forget being told about the other poor boy.

I do think some people do look back with rose tinted glasses.

I was given much more freedom, than DS has been given. We lived in a village and to get to the above mentioned town I used to have to cycle across a main A road. Wouldn't dream of letting DS to something like that now. Also there was a large hill in the village. As children we would see how fast we could cycle down this hill and then see how far we would then free wheel at the bottom. This would involve crossing another road (without stopping to look) and also going past the entrance to a pub. This pub wasn't used by the locals, who would be more aware of the children, instead it was mainly used by businessmen for lunches. As it was the 70s drink driving was rife. I am amazed none of us were hurt or killed.

I also remember watching those Public Service films at school, they were horrible, I particularly remember the railway one and the farm one.

Also pre 70s/80s, most children were probably sent out, not so that they could have a wonderful free time, but to let their mums get on with their housework, which lets face it for a lot of them was a lifetime of drudgery.

DS may have less freedom, but hopefully he is still having a happy childhood. He spends more times with us rather than his friends, but helpfully that is not a bad thing. He does also have time with friends and he has had many adventures with Scouts, so hopefully he will have happy memories.

We lived on a newly built housing estate in the 70s. There were very few cars and the beach was just yards away. It was a brilliant childhood.

My kids have had a similar experience, but in a small rural market town.

Not chucked out, but given freedom to roam.

My mum was born in the 60s. She's an introvert, quite shy and needs her own company. She found all the "playing out" very hard, and missed her mum and dad and home comforts. She saw 3 or 4 flashers by the time she hit puberty and knew lots of people who were quite badly injured on "the dump" including lots of teeth knocked out and a nasty-sounding testicular injury when someone ziplined along the top of a piece of wire. Her dad would drink drive home from the pub, she'd sit for 2 or 3 hours nursing a coke and reading a Secret Seven book alone in the car - she was an only child, but don't think siblings would've made much difference. When she was 11 her mum and dad took a residential job so she school-bussed home alone to her phone-less house down a small lane with no visible neighbours and went to bed until her parents arrived home the next morning. There was little to no safeguarding.

On the other hand, I was born 1989 and loved going on actual kid-friendly day-trips, doing guided craft activities with my beloved mum and playing in the garden safe in the knowledge that when the neighbours dog attacked my brother (as happened, these things happen even under supervision) my mum was shouting distance away. We spent an inordinate amount of time at car boots and DFS ("They had nice toilets and gave out free cava and chocolate biscuits") but it was fun and more importantly, I felt safe all the time and was able to become independent at my own pace. FWIW I moved out at 20 and have a close, but non-dependent relationship with my parents.

Life is so much better now. I would have loved my DC's childhoods. I craved my mums attention and wanted 1:1 time with her which I rarely got. Life was so much harder 20/30 years ago.

I was born in the late 50s and every school holidayI was told to go out and play either in the park or over the fields, which meant taking sandwiches and going out on my bike and coming home about 5-6 o'clock when my DF got home for dinner I then often had to go back out and play until dusk, DM was a SAHM and didn't want me under her feet.

This was probably age 7 - 12,

DS born 1992 was allowed to play out along our street (cul-de-sac) with the DC from up the road from about 7-8 and allowed down the park with the same DC when he was about 10-11

I haven't read the full thread but the OP made me think of this..

m.youtube.com/watch?v=1XDVDyDJ3s0

Wtf were the parents doing all day while the kids were chucked out?
Load of rose tinted bollocks. I agree that kids should have some freedom and fresh air etc but I'm glad I actually keep an eye on mine and interact with them.

My Mum appeared to spend most of her day sitting round reading her library books and swigging out of giant bottles of own brand orange aid. She certainly didn't do much housework because I was doing that.

Wtf were the parents doing all day while the kids were chucked out?

I don't fully recall as it was about 50 yrs ago but it was probably washing, ironing, cleaning, chores took ages, DM had a copper and mangle in the 60's. DM also used to sew and knit most of our clothes, nothing much was bought as it was more expensive and money was quite tight. I remember that at primary school not having uniform, some did, some didn't and going to school in dresses with ricrac sown on them to make them look not so plain.