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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad at MIL!

277 replies

mmmbagels · 16/08/2018 08:58

I was in the hospital around the time of my daughter's final vaccines, and MIL said she would take her. She told me she had them done and that DD was teary but was fine.

DD is 8 months old now and I just received a letter saying it was never done. I'm bloody fuming!!!

OP posts:
BifsWif · 16/08/2018 09:00

I would be furious too.

Stay calm until you’ve spoken to her, it may be a mistake but if not I would be fucking livid and tell her so.

How dare she risk your child’s health like that?!

eosmum · 16/08/2018 09:00

Have you asked your MIL? Could it be a mistake?

MintedLamb · 16/08/2018 09:00

Their final vaccines are usually at 12-13 months. Could it be this that the letter is referring to? When my children had theirs done it was recorded in their red books if you have that to check?

SadTrombone · 16/08/2018 09:02

I'd recommend a softly softly approach here on the off-chance it's an administrative error at the GP or something. If you can't clear it up easily call your MIL and ask (in as non-confrontational a way as possible) if she can remember who she saw for the vaccines etc. as there "must have been a mix up with the GP...".
If it does turn out it was her, however, you'd be well within your rights to be fucking furious.
Does she have any form for this sort of thing? Has she ever expressed any "anti-vaccer" thoughts etc.?

Passmeabrew · 16/08/2018 09:02

Is the letter from the doctors or health authority? If its the health authority its probably a mistake as they seem to send those out all the time even when inms have been done. Just ring your surgery and ask them to check her notes first. Or look kn her red book?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/08/2018 09:03

Have you spoken to her? It's usually recorded in the red book, did you not notice it hadn't been?

TheIcon · 16/08/2018 09:06

And the great defender of MILs arrived on cue.

flumpybear · 16/08/2018 09:06

Confront her ! What a bitch if she didn't! Could be a mistake ... doubtful tho

Butterymuffin · 16/08/2018 09:06

How old was she when these vaccines were meant to be done?

Original poster
mmmbagels · 16/08/2018 09:08

It hasn't been recorded in the Red Book, but maybe she forgot it. I'm about to call her. If she put my DD at risk I'll be livid!

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/08/2018 09:09

And the great defender of MILs arrived on cue

Without the full story it's silly to condemn the woman without knowing all the facts.

Surely the OP would have checked her red book?

apriljune12 · 16/08/2018 09:09

But why would she lie about this unless she’s crackers?

Ask her. It surely must be a mistake?

apriljune12 · 16/08/2018 09:09

Thelcon

What a strange post

loobylou10 · 16/08/2018 09:10

Not MIL defenders thelcon - just people who plan a more measured approach until full facts are known.

acquiescence · 16/08/2018 09:10

Were you really unwell/out of contact around this time? If not surely you would’ve asked at the time how they went, what did she say? What was your husband’s role?

Passmeabrew · 16/08/2018 09:11

Great defender? You mean the people pointing out it could just be an admin error (not an uncommon one - records at the HA are very behind for some reason) and suggesting its looked into before jumping to conclusions and causing avoidable tensions? She clearly trusted her MIL enough to let her take her so its reasonable to assume theres no form for this and its likely a mistake

Didntwanttochangemyname · 16/08/2018 09:12

That is a serious breach of your trust, she better have a good excuse...

Original poster
mmmbagels · 16/08/2018 09:13

I was very unwell, and didn't get to see DD for a while, however I did double check she'd been and MIL said DD was fine, just grumpy. I didnt really have any reason to doubt she'd get them done? I'm hoping this is all just one big mistake on the GP systems part..

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 16/08/2018 09:15

@acquiescence the OP says MIL told her they went ok and DD was a bit teary.

apriljune12 · 16/08/2018 09:15

I expect it’s an error op. Ask her and ring the GP as well to check.

MrsMotherHen · 16/08/2018 09:15

wow I would be fuming! ring gp to check.

NonaGrey · 16/08/2018 09:17

Regardless of whether the red book was completed your GP’s surgery will have a computer record of her vaccinations.

Go to reception and ask for a print out of all her vaccinations and then check with the NHS website to see what she is missing.

If she is missing something schedule an appointment with the nurse.

I’m surprised your Health Visitor hasn’t mentioned the missing vaccinations before now.

QueenEnid · 16/08/2018 09:18

I'm sure it's a mistake OP. Does your mil have form for lying about important things? I don't think that's a normal thing for anyone to do! Even if she had forgotten the appointment surely she would have admitted that and got you to rebook. Ring the surgery and get them to double check and then speak to your mil and ask her to describe the nurse who administered them. She will remember

Meepmoop · 16/08/2018 09:18

I had my DS ones done and the surgery kept sending letters saying he hadn't had them so it might be an error

SnuggyBuggy · 16/08/2018 09:19

Could it be that MIL forgot to bring the red book to the appointment?