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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad at MIL!

277 replies

mmmbagels · 16/08/2018 08:58

I was in the hospital around the time of my daughter's final vaccines, and MIL said she would take her. She told me she had them done and that DD was teary but was fine.

DD is 8 months old now and I just received a letter saying it was never done. I'm bloody fuming!!!

OP posts:
WeightorWhite · 16/08/2018 09:20

WTF!

Just why?

Butterymuffin · 16/08/2018 09:20

Does your husband / partner not remember or wasn't he involved?

FromNowOn · 16/08/2018 09:21

I would be phoning the surgery to check before I phoned MIL.

Hellohellohowareyou · 16/08/2018 09:21

Same as Meepmoop I received letters saying my daughters hadn’t been done even though I’d taken her myself and 100% knew they had. The letters were from the loca health trust rather than GP

BifsWif · 16/08/2018 09:22

Ring the GP surgery, they will have a record.

Original poster
mmmbagels · 16/08/2018 09:23

Can't get hold of MIL. On hold for GP now. DH was meant to take her but his boss was a dxck and wouldn't give him the time off.

OP posts:
WhatHaveIFound · 16/08/2018 09:23

It could be just an error.

I received letters to say that my DD hadn't had her second mmr despite the fact that i personally took her and it was logged in her red book. It was simply down to the nurse not entering it on the computer!

RiddleyW · 16/08/2018 09:23

I can't imagine assuming she lied about this - why would she?

It must just be a mistake, unless there is about to be a big backstory about her hating vaccines.

byanyothernamerose · 16/08/2018 09:24

I'm sure she didn't lie about this...why would she? Definitely speak to her gently as it is more likely to be an admin error...

starryeyedsnowgirl · 16/08/2018 09:26

My GPs computers kept flagging that DD had missed her vaccines because she hadn't had a flu vaccination. I kept saying I was happy for her to have it, but they wouldn't give it to her because only children who were 2 before a certain date that year got it- and her birthday was after that. Even so I kept getting reminded. Just s glitch in their system.

apriljune12 · 16/08/2018 09:27

Hopefully it was s mistake op.

Ask GP first

Bananarama12 · 16/08/2018 09:30

I kept getting letters saying my DS needed his when he had already had them. Though they were recorded in his red book.

PotteryLady · 16/08/2018 09:32

It's probably a mistake and she forgot the book.

Cutietips · 16/08/2018 09:33

I’m shocked that you’re ‘fuming’ without even checking with your mother in law or the doctors’ surgery.

Unless there’s a back story why would you assume that she would lie to you outright rather than that there has been an administrative error. Obviously if she had lied, it’s really serious and I would be angry. But I’d check first Confused.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/08/2018 09:39

Surely the OP would have checked her red book?

Oh come on, I sit on neutral ground mostly in the MiL wars but are you suggesting that the OP not having checked the book makes it her fault? When the DGP had assured her with details that the child had been vaccinated?

OP: Check the facts first, it could be admin cock up or referring to another vaccination schedule. Such errors are not uncommon. If its really the case that she lied about the vaccinations then its a massive breach of trust but if normally things are good my first assumption would be an admin issue.

TheIcon · 16/08/2018 09:40

This reply has been deleted

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YetAnotherThing · 16/08/2018 09:41

Although i’d be surprised they would vaccinate child without someone of parental responsibility being there? If your mum is young enough looking I suppose they might have assumed it was you

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/08/2018 09:43

Oh come on, I sit on neutral ground mostly in the MiL wars but are you suggesting that the OP not having checked the book makes it her fault?

I don't think it's her fault, I'm just surprised that after all this time she didn't notice it hadn't been stamped. Hopefully it's fine and just a clerical error. Unless the MIL is a habitual liar I cannot imagine that she'd not taken her GD for this appointment.

lizzielizard · 16/08/2018 09:43

What's your relationship with your MiL like? I'd be horrified if my DiL starting ranting on social media about being furious with me over something that is more than likely an admin mistake. Why wouldn't you just call her up and say you've received this letter? Odd.

RiddleyW · 16/08/2018 09:44

My dad took my DS for his vaccines so they do do it without a parent there.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/08/2018 09:45

I don't think it's her fault, I'm just surprised that after all this time she didn't notice it hadn't been stamped.

TBH, I rarely opened mine after the first DC and even then it was made clear they were for personal records for the DM and not relied on by professionals. I kept my own records for all of them but I never really used the red books.

Things may be different now of course if they are formalised into records.

apriljune12 · 16/08/2018 09:46

Thelcon

I don’t think the poster you are referring to was blaming the op to be fair just looking through the options.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 16/08/2018 09:49

I think if someone else had taken my baby for its jabs I might have checked the book, maybe. But I can also understand why someone wouldn't too.

How've you got on with the GP, OP?

RebelRogue · 16/08/2018 09:54

Check the facts first and then go "fuming".

If she really didn't then that's a massive breach of trust. Is there a back story to this?

LagunaBubbles · 16/08/2018 10:00

Seems a strange thing for MIL to lie about surely?