To be mad at MIL!

[mmmbagels]

I was in the hospital around the time of my daughter's final vaccines, and MIL said she would take her. She told me she had them done and that DD was teary but was fine.

DD is 8 months old now and I just received a letter saying it was never done. I'm bloody fuming!!!

Sorry but for me this is a huge issue. I don't think I would be able to come back from this.

It is a betrayal. And she also lied for months as she didn't tell you and when you asked, she lied again. I wouldn't be letting her anywhere near my child

What have either of you said to her about the vaccinations (lack of) and the Sunday lunch?

from what I've read here, I think mil is pretty normal and will not let her down again.

She has lied, gas-lighted and tried to overrule on a crucial issue when the OP was vulnerable. That kind of toxic behaviour doesn't come out of nowhere. Of course it is likely to be repeated in some form of other.

"from what I've read here, I think mil is pretty normal and will not let her down again."

1. No it's not normal.
2. It doesn't matter whether she will do it again- they haven't got past thus incident yet!

OP

I would be furious about this.

As an aside, your dp should look into getting vaccinated to protect your child.

I wouldn't be cooking that woman a Sunday lunch after she had blatantly lied about something as huge as that, such a violation of trust and undermining you and your DH! Tell her where to shove her roast OP!

"Sorry but for me this is a huge issue. I don't think I would be able to come back from this. "

I think that that is also how I'd feel.

How does your husband feel OK?

Also furious?

Minimising it?

Hope you’re ok OP and that she isn’t coming round for lunch today.

Huge betrayal. I wouldn’t be able to get past this. Not only has she taken it upon herself to overrule your decisions about your daughters health but she lied about it repeatedly and only admitted it when she was caught out. Awful behaviour and I wouldn’t trust her with anything in future.

That is unacceptable. She breached your trust. She put your daughter's life at risk because of debunked rubbish she read on the internet. She lied to your face. And now expect a roast? Wtf is wrong with her?!? Wow, she really has a LOT of nerve! I'd make sure she knows that you will not leave your daughter in her care - at least til your daughter is older. I cannot believe the nerve! I would seriously tell her that you can't go back from that, she breached your trust and the consequences in your mind are irrevocable. And speak to your husband, because clearly he went soft on her and didn't read her the riot act as he should have as she seems to be under the misapprehension that things are normal between you guys.

Wow your Mil has brass balls. 😧

Pleeeeeease tell us you’re not really going to feed and entertain her?

Marking place to come back later and see if lunch happened!

Hi OP

Sunday lunch time has come and gone. Very curious to find out what happened with MIL today (if it happened or not).

Me too

And me

Obviously I have too much time on my hands and NEED to know if you fed her.

I doubt it happened.

I doubt it happened

Why? Because the OP isn't giving us a blow by blow account of each argument and starting a follow up MiL-zilla thread? Or because its a MiL rather than a DM?

I have known families where anti vaxers have lied to try and stop a child being vaccinated. In both cases I knew the parents were utterly shocked as it was an unexpected breach of trust from a close relative and the breach of trust caused massive family issues. Not really the sort of thing most would want to document blow by blow on MN just to satisfy prurient curiosity.

I think OP would have updated that's all.

I just thinkt'a a bit odd not to have immediately assumed it was a clerical error. Surely that would have been most people's initial thought?

OP, this is unforgivable and disgusting. So while you were in hospital and unable to care for your daughter, she has made a HUGE, HUGE decision about your daughter's welfare and potentially put your daughter at risk? It was NOT in any way decision for her to make.

She could have voiced her fears to you/her son, or even refused to take her, bit to make this decision and lie to your about it, twice?

I say this as someone who has a very kind MIL who I think a lot of, but if this were me, I can guarantee I would never let her around my child again.

I'm sorry OP

I just thinkt'a a bit odd not to have immediately assumed it was a clerical error.

It would be my first assumption but that is based on my experience with my GP surgery and my relatives. Not everyone has the same experience. And the OP did take that on board and try to check with the GP first.

Maybe the whole thread is a fantasy but I have known two families where something like this happened and the fall out it caused was pretty permanent. I don't think my primary thought would be updating MN in that situation.

I don't think my primary thought would be updating MN in that situation

Who knows why the OP hasn't updated yet.
No doubt she will at some point with what happened at lunch.

Gosh op just seen your update this is shocking!

I Would be totally furious at the betrayal of trust and the lie.

Disgraceful behaviour

Livid would not even cover how angry I would be in this situation. All trust would be lost and I'm not sure there could be any come back from that.