WIBU to post Dsis her kids back and ruin her holiday?

[Santasjinglebelle]

WTAF to do?
Agreed to have niece (8) and nephew (7) over to stay for a while so Dsis and hubby can attend destination wedding/ first holiday without kids in tow.
Last time they were here I put them both in pyjamas pants as I know that they're prone to accidents and I just don't have the time or energy (or inclination to be frank) to keep up with the additional laundry.
Dniece pipped up earlier to tell me me that neither of them will be wearing pyjama pants this time round as their mummy told them not to.
Thinking they must have misheard, I call Dsis to get her to speak with them. Dsis proceeds to berate me for wanting to "humiliate" her children. Apparently pyjamas pants encourage bedwetting by infantilise slow developers - better to let them feel uncomfortable in their own piss and learn the hard way.
Before I could get out any kind of response she fobbed me off with some shite about a dodgy line and hung up!!
WTF am I supposed to do? They went to bed at 8pm and used the toilet first but I've just changed nephew's sheets! Another 8 nights of this makes me want to weep.
No other relatives near enough to pawn off on, niece is adamant, nephew does what his sister says and Dsis not answering phone anymore.
Hubby's response (he was joking) "try Easy jet." But now I'm seriously considering this, WIBU?

Disposable bed mays?

I think your approach is right OP. Makes sure this isn’t stressful for your DN/N and means you’re able to enjoy their stay.

Looking forward to your update when your DSis comes back to a load of washing

I’d stay schtum and leave it all as a ‘nice surprise’ for her in a similar vein to the ‘surprise’ she gave you about her DCs bedtime rules at your house.

Oh here we go again!!

I think they are too young to send off on easyjet on their own + have you even got their passports?

I understand that you're upset about the bed thing but it would be an extreme response.

I dont' think Easyjet will allow unaccompanied minors that age anyway, you would need to choose a different airline. But I think it's a terrible idea.

Seriously cheecky of your DSis. Stuff her rules, in your house they wear pyjama pants, end of. Has she always been a pisstaker?

She didn't warn yoiu so don't feel too bad. Update us when she gets back ;)

It’s like Groundhog Day.

They are 8 & 7, they shouldn’t be wetting the bed

Goodness if only there was a 15 page thread on that very topic and all the nuances contained therein.

Such a shame you didn’t have that resource available when you posted such an erudite comment.

@JacquesHammer
I’m lost for words with the bitter and mean posts regarding children under 10!
Mumsnet has become so weird parenting site which allows people to hurl abuse at Primary aged kids but let’s racist trolls report and delete messages that ask them to refrain from bullying small children and stop being racist!
It’s ridiculous, I had a conversation with my daughter this morning about not standing by if someone’s bullied as “all it takes for bad things to happen is for good people to do nothing”!
it’s not the exact quote but sums up the meaning.
MNHQ you should be ashamed

Counting the days till your sister gets back, OP? So are we. Promise you'll give us a blow by blow. And hope you're all enjoying yourselves despite her lack of warning which would have made it easier for you and her kids.

Santasjinglebelle
Also thinking of you as you’re amazing for letting your Sister net of for a week childfree.
Also yoSantasjinglebelleu haven’t judged your sisters kids for bed wetting.
I would also insist on pull-ups as I couldn’t cope with that much extra laundry for 8 nights whilst doing someone a huge favour.

@Santasjinglebelle
Sorry too many typos,
“Jet off for a week”
Plus you haven’t judged the kids for something they have no control over unlike so many other posters...

I despair at the ignorance on this thread.

Again (sigh) the kids cannot help it.

Please do not shame them.

Please do not make them change the sheets.

It's embarrassing enough without the adults in their lives making a big deal.

I wet the bed till 13. I'm one of 5 and the only bed wetter.

My mother wasn't lazy, and I'm not stupid.

My mother never complained or made me feel any worse than I already did.

Saving the wet sheets? Seriously FFS

Agree AhNowTed

De escalating the situation with the least drama possible, then talking to the person whose fault it is about how they made you feel and how they better not do it again is how most sensible, emotionally mature people would handle it

But then being sensible and emotionally mature never got anyone a shot at making the annals of CF classics did it

These aren’t a car the sister has left parked on op’s drive, these are two children with a medical condition that is not their fault, and that there is a great deal of shame, stigma, ignorance and ridicule attached to still, as this thread demonstrates amply.

Hey ho though as long as everyone gets to lol at the updates eh

I wish someone had told my son that now he was 7 he shouldn’t be wetting the bed. This was in days before pyjama pants. He stopped at about 11. We used to layer his bed with waterproof sheet, sheet, waterproof sheet, sheet etc. About 4 layers so all we had to do when he was wet was to whip off a layer and put it in washing basket. Then all could be washed in the morning. No way would I have shamed him by making him change bed, or leaving him in it. Also he decided just to wear a pyjama top so that made things quicker and easier.

Ted
I do understand what you are saying. However, op never signed up to do this and she has been dictated to how she runs her home and in addition has her children to attend to. I don’t think op is attempting to shame her dn&dn by not washing the sheets. She is assuring the children are as comfortable as possible both physically and emotionally whilst taking on the least amount of work to conserve her energy.

If the children’s parents are smart, they don’t even have to let them know about the unwashed sheets. If ops dsis chooses to get upset and see it as a big fuck you message, well that’s her choice. It sounds as if op is containing her emotions just fine considering how appallingly her sister has treated her. It would be a shame if her sister can’t do the same.

Santasjingle
Have any of your mattresses been ruined?

These aren’t a car the sister has left parked on op’s drive, these are two children with a medical condition that is not their fault

It isn’t a medical condition. It’s normal for some kids to be dry later.

OP has said that the children are quite cheerful and pragmatic about the whole thing and not 'shamed' by it at all.

I don't see why they shouldn't be involved in changing the sheets; if the OP layers them like posters above suggested, if they wake in the night and they are wet they just have to take a layer off and put it in the basket.

Or if they don't want to do that they can wear pyjama pants.

They've got a choice. The OP didn't choose or agree to have her sleep massively disturbed for over a week!

@Topsyshair, I also neglected that my dd does wear pull ups. We have a 'rule' of 2 dry nights in a row and she can try without them.

I also make sure she has them when she goes to stay with her grandparents.

I wouldn't let her stay away without them. It's not fair on those she is staying with. Although she has yet to stay with anyone other than family. Beaver camp will be an interesting experience.

Regardless of whether 7 and 8 are still reasonable ages to be wetting the bed, you don’t leave your kids with someone and expect them to be changing beds and washing sheets for 2 beds every night for over a week with no discussion about the fact that it will happen and is that ok? That’s humiliating for the kids and downright selfish behaviour towards someone trying to do you a favour. You either put off the adult me time holidays till your kids are dry or you accept your kids will need to regress for a week.
I remember someone telling me that the best way to deal with bed wetting in the over 7s was, in a very matter of fact way, without engendering any sense of shame or punishment, to make the child fully engage in the consequences of bed wetting, stripping the bed, taking the bedding to the machine etc. Apparently it worked for her within a few nights!

Littlepleasures - I suggest you read the thread and educate yourself. Engaging the child and making them strip the bed will make absolutely no difference.

Goat Yoga. Worth trying as it has worked for some.

One person is anecdote not evidence. It was a fortunate coincidence nothing more. Engaging and washing will not regulate hormone production.

I just can't believe how calm you are about it all OP, I would be so furious, the fact you are looking after her DCs and she won't even speak to you.

What happens now with your sister? How can you have a normal relationship with her after this. Totally get if she had discussed properly with you but she didn't even don't that other than placing demands.

I too am shocked at the lack of knowledge about later bed setters and also the awful comments. My friends DS was very advanced in most things but he wet every night. At 8 they went to the doctors and they were given various methods to try, this isn't actually reducing fluid intake but increasing it earlier in the day, no fizzy drinks and various other things I can't remember. They tried the alarms but it didn't wake him up in time, he wet through pj pants every night too. He took the medication which improved things but he still wet 1 in 5 nights. They were told it would likely be when he hit puberty, which it was. His younger brother (Not biologically theirs) was dry at night at 3, same parenting but different genetics!

Littlepleasures - it's just a coincidence. My DS1 was dry at 22 months, was instantly dry at night too, most nights didn't need to go but if he did he would wake up and go on the potty in his room. DS2 was dry at 2.0 but was 4 before he was reliable at night. No rhyme or reason for that!