WIBU to post Dsis her kids back and ruin her holiday?

[Santasjinglebelle]

WTAF to do?
Agreed to have niece (8) and nephew (7) over to stay for a while so Dsis and hubby can attend destination wedding/ first holiday without kids in tow.
Last time they were here I put them both in pyjamas pants as I know that they're prone to accidents and I just don't have the time or energy (or inclination to be frank) to keep up with the additional laundry.
Dniece pipped up earlier to tell me me that neither of them will be wearing pyjama pants this time round as their mummy told them not to.
Thinking they must have misheard, I call Dsis to get her to speak with them. Dsis proceeds to berate me for wanting to "humiliate" her children. Apparently pyjamas pants encourage bedwetting by infantilise slow developers - better to let them feel uncomfortable in their own piss and learn the hard way.
Before I could get out any kind of response she fobbed me off with some shite about a dodgy line and hung up!!
WTF am I supposed to do? They went to bed at 8pm and used the toilet first but I've just changed nephew's sheets! Another 8 nights of this makes me want to weep.
No other relatives near enough to pawn off on, niece is adamant, nephew does what his sister says and Dsis not answering phone anymore.
Hubby's response (he was joking) "try Easy jet." But now I'm seriously considering this, WIBU?

My 2 year old niece is not even wearing nappies for bedtime. I know she is advanced but I imagine plenty of children have been similarly successfully trained.

It seems OP's DSis if correctly quoted has her knickers in a twist - on the one hand, don't put her DC in pyjama pants "because it infantilises them" and yet letting them be uncomfortable in cold wet beds will teach them.

Strikes me DSis is off on her jollies leaving OP to deal with the first experimentation for her kids. Even if she's not that awful, she should have discussed it thoroughly with OP.

Agree with others, OP. Get all the stuff from her home that she must have to cope with this or buy it and let her know you're billing her. Agree with buying (dog) sleep protectors, cheaper and more capacious. Have you a DM to talk to?

So what have you done given it's 24 hours since your first post?

My son was under the enuresis clinic until he was 15!

Although at home we never used pull ups we always did for any form of sleepover/ residential trip etc as it is just not fair to expect you to go through that slog of laundry, drying and remaking etc. Your sister is being ridiculous.

She is simply following the example of her 4 year old sister, I imagine. The 2 year old prefers to behave like a big girl and wear pants.

I never wet the bed, but my younger brother did until he was about 12. I feel really terrible that I didn't set a good enough example for him.

what exactly is being in a wet bed supposed to teach them anyway? Other than the fact that wet beds are uncomfortable and getting up to change the sheets and Pyjamas is a PITA.

As a form of behaviourism it makes no sense at all.

All the knowledgeable replies here have taught me a lot, I wasn't aware of the hormonal side and I don't think Dsis or BIL are either. The children are completely comfortable with bedwetting, apparently their paternal grandparents say it's a familt trait. All their cousins on Bil's side wet the bed til very late so they speak about it freely, make jokes and seem totally unconcerned.

After discussing their normal routine - it turns out sis just washes their soiled sheets and pyjamas etc everyday. I went to their home this evening for extra sheets, and lo and behold they have plastic mattresses, like you'd get in hospital. I've taken these (weigh an effing ton those bloody things), plus all the bedding and pyjamas I could find. Dsis called the house phone to speak with them earlier but didn't speak to me - all I got was "Mummy said 'hi' to you aunt santa"
Feel sad for my dcs that these kids won't be staying over again - they're the only cousins they have around their age

Lying in pee can not be good every night I’m amazed they don’t have sores.
Sister sounds a real numbskull sadly

You need contact Harry Enfield and get his electro bed that was in the sketch he did years ago lol. Wakes them up and dries the bed in one go lol

You're going to put yourself through that? Do all that unnecessary laundry?

Santas do they wake up when they've wet or sleep through it?

I haven't been through this but I think I'd stick with pyjama pants if I did.

Pro tip for posting on parenting websites: if you avoid making hilarious jokes about medical conditions which affect young children and often cause them shame and distress despite being beyond their control, you’ll look like less of a total fucking bellend.

This has been a public service announcement

Oh, and ‘lol’

@Topsyshair, It's laziness in that the mum hasn't sought help or routine to help manage the wetting. Leaving 2 children in cold, wet bedding isn't on! She's hoping to embarrass her children out of the issue. Or she's hoping auntie will embarrass the children out if it, given she appears to have hospital quality waterproof mattresses (not just waterproof sheets) and yet hasn't provided the necessary equipment to her sister, who is doing her a favour in having the children or told her of any particular routines they follow. Laziness!

I have a 6yo who is under the enuresis clinic. We have a strict routine of liquid consumption with none an hour before bedtime. It's bloody hard telling a 6 yo she cannot have a drink! We have waterproof sheets, doubled up bedding. Dd is toiletted twice before bed and if she is awake when we go up, she goes again then.

The school are on board, friends and relatives are on board with the liquid consumption. Relatives are on board with the nighttime routine.

My dd does not want to be wet at night and despite having her bladder checked and been told it is normal, she still wets every single night. Our next step is the monitor.

The children are completely comfortable with bedwetting, apparently their paternal grandparents say it's a familt trait. All their cousins on Bil's side wet the bed til very late so they speak about it freely, make jokes and seem totally unconcerned.

Which is probably the best way to deal with it tbh. If it’s familial, then it will most likely sort itself out in time. There’s not much, if anything, you can do to speed that up.

Thanks for the update OP.

I think you are being really good to do all of that!

@Jelly slice, a previous poster gave me genius idea of saving up the sheets for Dsis - got a pile of bin liners at the ready

Oooh that was me I think. About getting sheets from her house and using them and handing them back at end of week . Glad it helped you .

Surely that's just saying, though? Would you really do that? I couldn't.

There's just absolutely no point in creating all this extra work, and leaving children soaking in piss, when it's not going to change a thing. It will not teach them anything.

FGS just put the poor little loves in PJ pants and let them experience a week of comfortable, dry nights!

And I know all too well about living with this, and the genetic aspect. My youngest is still not dry at 11.

My kids are still wet and are older than your dn's but if we go to a hotel or they sleep at someone who doesn't want to deal with accidents. As they get older they don't like it but it's tough. They have to wear them and that's it.your house, your rules.

I suggested that too, London - but I am willing to share the glory

Your sister needs a boot up her arse. What kind of way is that to manage bed wetting? Plastic sheets and lying in their own urine? She should be bloody ashamed of herself. I’d be giving her a piece of my mind. Yes chances are they’ll get dry in their own time but I can’t see what’s wrong with a pull-up until they do. My eldest was about 8 before he was regularly dry at night (years after his autistic 2.5 years younger brother) and thats what we did. Being prepared to let known bed wetters lie in stinking, wet pissy sheets all night is pretty shit parenting

bed sheets and a water proof mattress

You’ve seen the reactions here o/p, and the particular brand of cuntynish that this subject evokes.

It may well be that your sister has been listening to this shit and feels like a shit parent for having stupid thick children that she can’t parent well enough to “train” to not piss their beds.

If she has this may well be an attempt to do what so many posters are saying, to force them into being dry, to “teach”’them that pissy beds aren’t nice, as if somehow just removing the nappies and allowing them to wet the bed will make them learn not to produce night time urine and to wake up if they need a pee.

I have known people who wash two sets of piss soaked bedding every day, rather than use nappies, for years. Because nappies/pull ups are babyish, lazy, they won’t learn... and if they’re not wearing nappies at night, you don’t have to admit to yourself or anyone that your 7 year old is in nappies at night, because technically, they’re not.

Mini that sound like hard work. I am suprised an enuresis clinic (is it nhs?) would do all that with a 6yo, as it’s not classed medically as an issue til at least 8. Won’t make any difference anyway, until her pituitary starts producing adh, and no amounts of alarms will make that happen. And not doing all that is not parental laziness, btw.

Not read the whole thread so apologies if cross posted but how about disposable bed wetting sheets which stick to the top of the sheet, that way they are not wearing the pyjama pants and you are not changing bedding? We use them for holidays/relatives etc as dd also doesn’t like the pyjama pants (although will wear if I tell her she has to). Dd is 8 and been under consultant for a year and on tabs before that but issue still not fully resolved.

To be clear, in my previous post I’m not taking about accidents which I know can happen - did with my own son quite a few times - but deliberately putting a child to bed knowing there’s a high chance they’ll wet themselves and purposely letting them lie in it. It must be cold and uncomfortable never mind the extra washing.