WIBU to post Dsis her kids back and ruin her holiday?

[Santasjinglebelle]

WTAF to do?
Agreed to have niece (8) and nephew (7) over to stay for a while so Dsis and hubby can attend destination wedding/ first holiday without kids in tow.
Last time they were here I put them both in pyjamas pants as I know that they're prone to accidents and I just don't have the time or energy (or inclination to be frank) to keep up with the additional laundry.
Dniece pipped up earlier to tell me me that neither of them will be wearing pyjama pants this time round as their mummy told them not to.
Thinking they must have misheard, I call Dsis to get her to speak with them. Dsis proceeds to berate me for wanting to "humiliate" her children. Apparently pyjamas pants encourage bedwetting by infantilise slow developers - better to let them feel uncomfortable in their own piss and learn the hard way.
Before I could get out any kind of response she fobbed me off with some shite about a dodgy line and hung up!!
WTF am I supposed to do? They went to bed at 8pm and used the toilet first but I've just changed nephew's sheets! Another 8 nights of this makes me want to weep.
No other relatives near enough to pawn off on, niece is adamant, nephew does what his sister says and Dsis not answering phone anymore.
Hubby's response (he was joking) "try Easy jet." But now I'm seriously considering this, WIBU?

My 2 year old niece is not even wearing nappies for bedtime. I know she is advanced but I imagine plenty of children have been similarly successfully trained

Are we classing hormone production as being advanced now?

How smashing

Leaving them in their own piss won't work unless the kid is wetting the bed deliberately which is incredibly unlikely. It's also pretty gross and will presumably ruin the mattress.

Pmsl, how do you 'train' a child not to wee in their sleep? Genuinely, how does that work practically?

She is simply following the example of her 4 year old sister, I imagine. The 2 year old prefers to behave like a big girl and wear pants.

🙂

She is simply following the example of her 4 year old sister, I imagine. The 2 year old prefers to behave like a big girl and wear pants

And again. Day time training is not the same as night time training.

Do try and keep up.

The pmsl thing is quite amusing given the matter being discussed. 😂

Oh dear, jacques. You seem a bit irritable.

But come on, how do you follow an older sibling to not wet the bed?

Given that bed wetting is unintentional how does a child decide to stop doing it?

Not irritable - rather helping you out as you seem rather lacking in comprehension skills among others.

Well it is rather irritating having people spout tripe over and over without getting their facts straight.

Remember, folks, don't feed the troll!

She is simply following the example of her 4 year old sister, I imagine

Only insofar as the timing of the production of the required hormone has a family link.

Ha, touche 😁

Wearing pants doesn't stop wee coming out in your sleep though.

Is it really common for seven and eight year olds to wet the bed? Genuinely curious as I've never known any not dry by that age other than one who had complex additional needs

1 in 5 seven year olds still wet at night. So in an average class of 30, 6 will not be dry.

Like we’ve seen on this thread, being wet at night is “laziness”, or they just “need to learn”- it’s seen as the child being backward, slow, and is embarrassing. It’s not something that’s mentioned in conversation.

I had two still in nappies at 7. Yes nappies. Pull ups were too expensive and didn’t hold enough wee. Plus I never saw the point in trying to pretend pj pants or pull ups weren't nappies.

My mum would lecture me on “training”, not letting them drink, lifting, punishments, declarations that i needed to do something as they would be going to uni in nappies. True, because she saw it on tv where a family were too lazy to train their boys and they were still wet at 18...

With both of mine it was like a switch. They went from being soaking wet/wetting the bed to completely dry on day, and never wet again.

It’s hormones, anti diuretic hormone, and biofeedback, the subconscious being able to sense a full bladder and rouse itself.

It cannot be trained or learned.

OP so what have you decided to do?

If the children have regular accidents, your SIS must have some kind of mattress protection on the beds. If you have her keys I would go to her house, collect any mattress protectors and also gather up all her sheets, duvet covers etc and use those for their bedding. Then maybe pop over and shove them in her washing machine and stick it on to wash, so they don;t smell, but she can dry it all when she gets back.

Reallyanotherone people's ignorance on this subject astounds me.

I've been very lucky that both of mine were dry at night shortly after commencing toilet training. Yet even I know that plenty of children do wet the bed and it has zilch to do with lazy parents or training.

Are we classing hormone production as being advanced now?

It’s the new MN yardstick. It might need a new subforum, though.

YANBU OP. If your sister knew you had put pyjama pants on them before and didn’t want you to do it she should have mentioned that before she went away rather than let the kids tell you. Obviously that would have affected their holiday though.

DS1 was 11 when he became dry at night. We were under the care of the continence service for years and over the years tried melts, drugs to expand the bladder, alarms etc.

The bottom line with my son is that he has an overactive bladder and his brain tells him it is full when it is not. One summer holiday we started using the alarm, layering the bed with bedsheets and disposable mats so he could change them himself. It took 8 weeks until he had 14 consecutive nights of dryness.

DS2 who potentially has autism was wet until approx the age of 7 was different in the respect that he used the alarm for 1 night, and then never needed it again (just like his father).

If I was to have my parenting time over again, one thing I would do is to use washable nappies. Our continence nurse reckoned that children need to feel wet in order to stimulate the brain connections required in order to be dry. Disposable nappies are just too good at keeping babies dry.

With respect to the op, Whilst I have been through a long process of getting a child dry, I would never have inflicted it on a family member, especially not without having a detailed conversation about it beforehand. I would have saved my efforts until after the trip.

To all those posters who think that this is not normal, in all probability you will know plenty of children with primary nocturnal enuresis, it’s just that parents don’t tend to publicise it, particularly as the child gets older and more aware / embarrassed.

"I'm sure you have - according to ERIC, 2 children in each class of 30 aged 7 will wet. In many cases you won't know about it though, it's not something people necessarily share."

and quite understandably, given the parade of pigshit thick ignorant cuntery on this thread about bedwetting. from wide eyed "oh my children just must be special and advanced and clever " to dimwitted remarks about "laziness" and "complex needs" to full on goady fuckery, this thread truly contains a shade of fuckwit to suit any complexion.

to answer the op: yanbu to want them in pull ups. your sister is bu to go radio silent. however, look at this shitstorm of a thread. if your goal was to make parents of children with continence problems (or adults who previously had continence problems as a child) feel like absolute shit to wreak some sort of revenge on your sister by proxy then achievement unlocked, well done. mn claims to be on top of its disablism problem but it really isn't is it? this is my child, my left fucking tit.

Wait until they fall asleep and put the pull ups on them over their pjs.
It might not be just as absorbent but it could work.

MissVanjie

Thank you for everything you just posted. I spent yesterday tying myself in knots worrying about DS (5) and his constant bedwetting not to mention regular daytime accidents because of idiotic, self-satisfied and hysterical responses on this bloody thread. FWIW, the children's hospital we attend agree with you.

You dropped your mic.

given the parade of pigshit thick ignorant cuntery

Never had a post been better spoken or more apt.

All of these late bed wetters will be dry eventually*. Some people will always be ignorant.

• barring special needs or disabilities.