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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL suggests I miss my son’s second birthday party

350 replies

shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 21:45

I’m not being u but didn’t know where to put this. There should be a section called Vent.

We’re moving and it’s DS’s birthday. Everything has gone wrong. DH called away with work, my car broke down on today’s tip and charity shop run, end of tenancy cleaners have pulled out because someone is sick... DS’s party was supposed to be at MIL’s at the weekend because we knew our place would be a state and when DH was talking to MIL tonight, saying he didn’t know how we’d get everything done and we were thinking we might not make the trip (DS is 2 and won’t care if we postpone his party) MIL suggested that I stay at home to sort out the mess and DH take DS to his second birthday party ON HIS OWN.

😡

Even DH, usually oblivious to his mother, was shocked.

OP posts:
SpandexTutu · 14/08/2018 23:06

See, I'd rather my child have a special day and enjoy the love and celebration of those who love him. I'd sacrifice my own feelings FOR my child who deserves more than being farmed off so I can clean or whatever else you're going to be doing. I certainly wouldn't make it about ME

Excuse me whilst I vomit quietly in a corner.

SpandexTutu · 14/08/2018 23:07

Or how about the PILs come down and help?

Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:08

GreatDuckCookery Hit and miss. A miss being when she met DS for the first time (we made the trek to her) she cried when we were leaving and did a dramatic “I’ve bonded with him, you can’t take him” thing on the front step 🙄.

OP posts:
Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:09

FiestaThenSiesta Why are you saying it’s not my son’s birthday?

OP posts:
HotblackDesiatoto · 14/08/2018 23:09

No it fucking isn’t! Miss your son’s birthday to clean a house?

yes it fucking is! She was trying to help you, you ungrateful wretch.

Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:10

We are not going up to MILs, we are not going to give my son away to friends, he will be with both of us on his birthday!

OP posts:
slithytove · 14/08/2018 23:10

It’s ok to not want to be stuck at home cleaning while your family celebrates your sons birthday. That’s not silly.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/08/2018 23:11

She was only kidding OP. She wouldn't really expect you to leave him! Grin

slithytove · 14/08/2018 23:11

Hotblack - mil wasn’t doing a thing to help op. Help op’s dh maybe

SpandexTutu · 14/08/2018 23:11

Help would be offering to help with the move, not having a party with the rest of the family and leaving her Dil to clean. By herself.

slithytove · 14/08/2018 23:12

Quite right op - anyway 2 years old - give him some baby wipes and he can clean the skirting boards

Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:12

GreatDuckCookery What do I know, I’m only the mother!

OP posts:
slithytove · 14/08/2018 23:14

Another idea op - ask the garage who have your car if they can lend you one to cut about in

SpandexTutu · 14/08/2018 23:14

So Pils come and help. Work is done in half the time. Family celebrates birthday together. That's the solution a supportive family would come up with.

HotblackDesiatoto · 14/08/2018 23:14

She was of course. OP organised to have a family party at her MIL's house (kind of her to host for them) and then said they thought maybe they would be too busy (rude of them after she had organised) and she offered to have the party anyway.
Thats a nice thing. If it doesn't suit, a polite thanks but no thanks is the thing, not a bitchy rant online about MIL being a cunt.

Hmm
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/08/2018 23:15

Yes, but you know she wouldn't really expect you to leave him with her, right?

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:15

I bet your dil will be in here in 24 years time op. Grin

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:17

stopandchat

You either need more alcohol or less I can’t be sure.

Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:17

GreatDuckCookery I’m actually truly not sure about that! I think she’d know I wouldn’t but I think it’s her secret dream 🙄.

PILs wouldn’t come down and help. They don’t travel much.

OP posts:
AutisticHedgehog · 14/08/2018 23:17

yes it fucking is! She was trying to help you, you ungrateful wretch.

OMFG - only on MN would you get such a melodramatic yet inappropriate response.

OP - YANBU. And the abuse you’re getting here is pathetic.

Moving house is a nightmare - and with young kids even more so. Your MIL suggesting you be a good wifey and stay at home whilst your DH and her have a nice intimate little party? Sure - that’s really being nice to you??!

Fucking hell MN is full of sanctimonious wankers. But fortunately lots of really lovely wankers too.

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:18

HotBlack

No she’s not a cunt but she’s a stupid cow apparently

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:19

Nitey night! Mumsnet gone way too crazy tonight even for this old one whose been here far far too many years

SpandexTutu · 14/08/2018 23:21

I'd have more sympathy if mil had suggested DH stayed and cleaned and op went to the party. But that probably never even occurred to her.

Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:21

AutisticHedgehog very tue. There are also a lot of projectors, stirrers and people who read a sentence and somewhere between device and brain they just invent what it says so they can have a pop!

OP posts:
Original poster
shesastupidcow · 14/08/2018 23:25

It’s s milestone birthday for MIL in November, we have tentative plans for a meal out. DH just suggested he tell her I’ll go alone 😂

OP posts:
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