To ask who is the most intelligent- you or your dh?

[Electrascoffee]

Can relationships work where one partner is much cleverer than the other?

I'm more emotionally intelligent than dh and can express myself better but he's much smarter than me about technology and science and nature. My strengths are history and literature, I think we balance out pretty well.

I was much smarter than my xH but I think more vitally I had far more ambition. It is one of the main reasons I divorced him.

I needed someone intellectually stimulating to converse with and didn’t get it from him. I also needed someone with a similar level of ambition career wise, he earned nearly half the amount I did and had no aspirations to increase that.

It just didn’t work.

It depends on what you perceive as intelligence. In I.Q. tests, I score very highly - but those tests (I did a 3hr Mensa test) measure logic and reasoning, of which I'm very good.

My husband has an average I.Q., but he knows a lot more than I do - for instance, he knows how to strip down the engine of a car, he can remember lots of facts and figures about things.

Does it actually matter?

My DH is very intelligent, mensa level. I am of complete average intelligence. We work in the same field and are interested in, mainly, the same things so always have interesting chats.

I like being married to someone intelligent, I am always learning something, but I dont ever feel stupid or patronised.

What is the issue with your relationship? Is there a big disparity which is causing problems?

My DH thinks it’s him. I know it’s me.

I’m more academic, he’s got much more common sense. He’s clever too - I think you need to be reasonably close in intellect or one of you will eventually get frustrated.

What do you mean by intelligent? It’s subjective really isn’t it? My dh is a Doctor, I didn’t even go to University, but I certainly don’t consider him to be more intelligent than me.

I'm just curious to see what people think about this. My mum thinks that if one person is very well educated and cultured and the other isn't it will never work. I don't necessarily agree.

Actual IQ intelligence or intellectual curiosity?

My DP has a higher IQ than me but I am curious, l like learning things so ask questions about all sorts of things so I know 'stuff'.

Depends what you want.

My dh is an expert in an academic field and very academically gifted in maths and science but I have much wider general knowledge (lacking the depth!) he is fluent in one foreign language but I’m conversational in four.

Neither of us has much common sense though!

Both of us think that we are the one who is more intelligent. Dh told me he thinks he is smarter, I did not tell him but I think I am smarter... or at least make more sense. lol

Well, he can be very smart when it comes to some things but acts so stupid when it comes to others.

Dh knows his IQ but I do not know mine so I cannot compare.

100% me

I think dh & I are both intelligent just in different ways and about different things. I was once in a relationship with someone who was lovely but not the sharpest tool in the box and I’m not sure it would have helped it be a long-term thing if I’m perfectly honest.

We are in the same ballpark. Possibly I am slightly smarter, possibly I just had more opportunities.

I think I'd struggle with a relationship where we weren't quite even in IQ.

Numbers-DH. Words-me.

My husband is a hospital consultant so technically I guess he's more intelligent than me. Can't say his superior intellect shows itself much out of work though, apart from his fearsome memory when it comes to pub quizzes.

I think there are many areas of intelligence, and our society looks at it in a very narrow manner.

It depends on how you look at it. I have a degree and a post grad qualification which is a Masters equivalent. I can converse in 3 languages and scrape by in 2 more. I am great in an emergency (ex police) and calm in a crisis. I have a long long tether of patience. I have limited technical knowledge outside the construction industry.

My DH can strip down and rebuild any engine, take control of any emergency scenario and is trained to survive life threatening emergencies - military. He has sod all educational qualifications, but piles of common sense. He also has no patience and flies off the handle.

We are very different but we make it work when I don't want to kill him for losing his temper over dropping his house keys.

My partner has hardly any emotional intelligence, but he is smart on technology, maths, languages and history. On paper I'm smarter, got more qualifications than him, but I don't think I am really to be honest. Would say we are the same, just got our different strengths and weaknesses. Despite him not being educated in languages though he is really good at them naturally. Can translate a lot of languages easily for most words, even when listening to people speaking.

I’m better educated and have a higher IQ. No good at much practical stuff though. He’s practical and a perfectionist in practical terms. I’m a reader and thinker. He reads for information.

I think I'm more intelligent in terms of academic stuff and emotional intelligence. I'm more reflective and analytical. He is more practical than I am and he has an incredible memory. He's also much more confident socially and never forgets a face. And his mental maths is bloody amazing - so fast!

@Electrascoffee Okay, I think I got your question wrong. Actually I think being educated is different from being smart.
None of us is really cultured we are both uncouth ;)
Dh is more well educated than me, because he went to a better school... but I do not think it is causing any problems.
Actually in my subculture it is not unusual for the man to have to better education, typically there is no problems with that and the marriages are happy.
I like the fact he is well educated and knows a lot, can explain me things, has a lot of useless knowledge (he knows how to read in ancient Greek, what ever it is good for... but I always thought it was fun).

I have a higher IQ am more widely read and have better general knowledge.
But my dh is not thick is educated to degree level and has a very good professional job.
I love him dearly. I’ve had partners before him who shared more of my intellectual interests but I don’t miss that. Dh shares enough interests for us to have a good conversation and he has other fantastic points and we share values and life outlook which matters more.

DH is more intelligent! (But I'd never admit that to him ;)!!!)

I have way more qualifications and have been in Mensa, but I think there is more to intelligence than passing exams, writing papers and doing well in IQ tests. I have no common sense, cannot budget, cannot manage my emotions, over analyse everything, am useless at general knowledge, etc etc etc... DH has all round intelligence. He's great! :)

Do is book smart, but with very little common sense. He's also good at emotions, and reading a room.

I'm good at logic and problem solving, but not great at remembering statistics, dates or people. I'm much less emotionally intelligent too.

My DH is a uni professor, comes from a middle class family and has loads of common sense (when he isn’t in an irrational stare).
I’m working class, have a mediocre 2:2 and with very little common sense.
It works; we have a cracking laugh, are both adventurous but if we didn’t have each other, he’d be a shoulder dandruff, halitosis type boring old fart; I’d be a total crack ‘ho.
We balance each other.