To ask who is the most intelligent- you or your dh?

[Electrascoffee]

Can relationships work where one partner is much cleverer than the other?

Ok but let’s be honest and say most people are not living what you refer to as their “best life” - myself included - and for many of us that is down to a lack of day to day, hour to hour, moment to moment mindfulness. We could do with remembering death more often even if you don’t need to.

I don't agree in the slightest. Moment to moment mindfulness? That's just buzzword bullshit, its not real life. We don't need to contemplate death to constantly remind us to seize the carping diem! It's nonsense, thats not how people live. My best life involves huge amounts of sitting on my fat ass, reading and drinking. We're all going to die and we all know it, we don't need to contemplate it, or our navels. Just live!

My husband is far more pragmatic and logical than I am, but I have my strengths too. His IQ is probably far higher but I have a sharp memory, especially for numbers and years. Which is probably why I excelled in history.

I think dp and I are pretty well matched intelligence wise, though he's more science and literature and I'm more history and different literature.

My exh is thick as a brick. He never understood why I enjoyed reading and thought it anti-social because I should always pay attention to him.

Dh is better educated, in terms of academic achievement but he has no common sense in terms of day to day living. It amazes me that a man of his intelligence cannot get to grips with seemingly logical things.

I would say we are virtually identical but in different areas.

My DH is a privately educated Oxbridge graduate. I'm a comp educated decent (well, consistently within top 15 unis in the country) uni graduate with a post grad degree to boot. He's definitely cleverer on paper, and I have huge gaps in my knowledge from my crappy school. But he couldn't survive without me, and he knows it. Well, he could exist but he certainly wouldn't thrive.

My husband is the cleverest person I've ever met. He definitely meets some of the criteria for genius and has academia level knowledge of many varied topics. However, I am more emotionally intelligent and better at reading people/situations.

I am more academically bright and better educated than DH. However, he is a professional in a very technical, potentially dangerous sport and has competed at representative level. He is amazingly kinetic, he learns by watching and doing and feeling. He has no fear. He can pick up a physical technique immediately and be better than the person showing him very quickly. He's also able to play any musical instrument with little instruction, by ear. These are incredible gifts.

Me, obviously.

I'd say we're pretty evenly matched. He went to uni and I didn't, but that was more down to me choosing to go into work rather than further education at the time, not because I'm not clever enough. He's now on the cusp of completing his Master's, whilst I'm in the middle of my degree through the OU. We're both logical people, with plenty of common sense, so we work well there. But as for our differences, he does the household budget, shopping and all finances, but he doesn't know how to work the washing machine and didn't realise you had to put water in the iron. I run the house, making sure everyone gets to various activities on time, he forgets to pack the kids a lunch if he takes them out over lunchtime. I fear maths, he's incredible at it. I redid my maths GCSE a few years ago, so I know I can do it, but I need to write everything down and work through it logically. He can just do mental maths at the most incredible speed. Though he says that that was a disadvantage during exams when you're supposed to show your working out, as he couldn't, he'd just done it in his head. Also worth noting that we now hold exactly the same maths grade. I still don't like it though. My strengths lie in English, history and geography. He once rang me to settle a bet with his friend that Austria was in Germany or Switzerland .
We get each other. He keeps me on track when I'm distracted by the latest shiny thing. We chat shit, we both like to learn, we both have a love for increasing our vocabularies, we just gel.
Incidentally, I tell him I'm cleverer and he vehemently disagrees

I am vastly better educated and 'intellectual' but DP has this incredibly intelligent way of looking at life that I can only aspire to.

Also, he's a computer monkey by trade, and can do all sorts of computer wizardry (including reading code that looks like it's straight out of the Matrix). I can crochet. He watches in wonder as I create things from what is essentially string.
We both have our strengths.
And our weaknesses. We throw money at it when something needs doing to the house or cars. Both clueless.

We're on the same level in terms of smarts, I think. We just have strengths in different areas.

I'm more emotionally intelligent, better at reading people, and I can read maps better than him I've also got more common sense than DP.

He is much better with technology, physics, maths etc. He's very logical in many ways I'm not. He's also more academic than I am.

It works for us. I think a vast difference in intelligence levels wouldn't work well in a relationship, but someone of average IQ could get along with people with low and high IQs as long as each persons emotional needs were met.

My DH is very smart (first from Oxbridge). But I'm more emotional intelligent. And I can make curtains, which he can't..

I think my DW is more intelligent, she thinks I am. Works wonderfully.

We are probably equal. We are both working in the same industry. He will be qualified in my field in 3years. He will be better at certain aspects of my job that I lack. I don't think he will excel at others.
He isn't great with language or expressing himself. He has great hands and a technical brain.
I'm better at strategy. He is better with action.
Works for us.
I agree that both people have to be equal, I couldn't be married to an lout with no ambition.
I don't think there is any reason to lack ambition. Whether it's small personal goals or large work goals.

I'm book smart, brains to burn, degrees coming out of my ass... with not much common sense!
DH is the opposite.... he is street smart. We compliment each other well.
I'm more emotionally intelligent. He can't talk about his feelings as well as I can which often results in a build up of anger / frustration. There is usually a row, the air is cleared then we are back to normal

I'm more intelligent than DH on paper, but in reality we each have our own skill set that compliments the other. He's far more knowledgeable than me in many areas.

I am slightly, but DH has more detailed knowledge of some things eg English history but I've less knowledge of a much wider range. I can talk to my dad about literature or my son-in-law about forensics as well as history with DH .

DP went to Cambridge while I went to a RG university a few steps lower down the food chain, so that suggests he is a bit brighter than me. We would both agree, however, that in comparison with the majority of the public, the differences between us are marginal.

DP is intelligent and well educated with no common sense and lacks some social graces as well. Evidence - just went into the kitchen to find he had left the chip pan on the gas - we ate 2 hours ago. He's now asleep - so will have to contain my anger until tomorrow morning!

I'm more emotionally and academically intelligent.
He is the only one of the two of us with common sense and spatial awareness.

Dh is better educated, in terms of academic achievement but he has no common sense in terms of day to day living. It amazes me that a man of his intelligence cannot get to grips with seemingly logical things.

You are me! My DH has a PhD in a very specialised field. Super intelligent but absolutely no common sense whatsoever. I often wonder how he navigates life on a daily basis..

We are about the same - although DH is more 'educated' than me. We never run out of things to talk about. We have some really interesting conversations!

Academically speaking, I am more intelligent than DH. 2.1 from Oxford, speak multiple languages etc etc. He has more 'vocational' qualifications and was excluded from secondary school twice...
But he has a wonderful way with people-everybody loves him and he makes friends easily. He can chat to anyone, cooks amazing food, is cultured and is interested in everything!
We are very very different, but we fit.