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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask who is the most intelligent- you or your dh?

153 replies

Electrascoffee · 14/08/2018 20:23

Can relationships work where one partner is much cleverer than the other?

OP posts:
Should1stayorshould1go · 15/08/2018 11:39

I am more academically successful, always been a high flyer and have a good spread of skills across multiple subjects, am good at lateral thinking, synergising ideas, seeing connections: and I work in an environment where these skills are essential, and need to be balanced with good people skills. However, there are areas where I am aware I am not as strong eg there is a sort of ceiling in my maths ability: somewhere during calculus where I could do the equations etc but had no idea of the point or context.

DH is less academic, but his main subjects are music, maths and languages, and he is a very good musician (though he points out not a genius) Hes a chessplayer, and functions day to day in a second language so well most people dont realise hes not a native speaker. So although he has less outward recognition of his talents eg qualifications etc I think our innate abilities are pretty equal. He has less confidence in his people skills but oddly enough makes a really good manager partly because of this: hes very fair and unemotional, so really good at sorting out conflicts in his work teams.

We certainly complement (and occasionally compliment) each others skills: but share a sense of humour, love of wordplay, tastes in a lot of things so there is always something to talk about. I have struggled in the past in relationships where there is not a similar meeting of minds.

MamaHechtick · 15/08/2018 11:42

DH is more academically intelligent, he knows more about history etc than I do. But I am more emotionally intelligent and have a lot more common sense than he does.

chaoscategorised · 15/08/2018 12:43

We're in the same ballpark, but in very different ways. He's science/maths-y, and hyper logical - he's the most intelligent man I've ever been with, and I like that about him. I think my general knowledge is broadly better - although he obviously beats me in sciencey stuff - and have a strong arts/history/literature knowledge, as well as being more emotionally intelligent/more creative with my thinking and problem solving - he's quite rigid.

Most of my relationships have been with people who weren't as intelligent or as educated as me (not in a snobby way! I'm just smart, and also have been to uni, and none of my exes bar one had been to uni) and they've worked fine, and I've been in ones where the difference has made it hard to be 'on a level' in terms of conversation or how we solve problems together etc. It very much depends on their personality!

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