DD going to bed at 8am and getting up at 6pm, would you allow this?

[evergreenmi]

Exactly what the title says. Thanks.

What time does she finish work?!

And why does an 18 year old need to go with you on family days out?

No she works in the evenings so from 6pm - 12am. That's not 7 days a week. There's no reason to then stay awake another 8 hours!!

Yes she does game it's funny you say that. Was a nightmare when she was a young teen getting her to go to bed for school, thought it would be grown out of.

YABU I think.

Well, it won’t be for much longer so I wouldn’t give her a hard time about it.

She's 18. It sounds like you and DH need to cut the apron strings a bit. It's a shame she isn't going away to uni TBH.

Your husband is being weird, not your daughter. It’s normal to alter your sleeping / leisure patterns around shift work.

I was like this as a teenager, also working evenings, and to be fair my mum hated it too. As PP have said it was just part of her getting used to having less and less say in my life.

She's an adult, you can't dictate her bedtime! As long as she's quiet and gets herself up for work on time, I'm not sure I quite understand the problem.

As for family days out, does your DH really expect an 18 year old to want to tag along?!

So how long after finishing work should someone go to bed

OP, she's 18 and got her own life now. I think it's a bit odd that your husband is wanting her to go out all together. You do your thing and let her do hers.

My 18yo DD is trying to emulate these hours and she doesn't even have a job as an excuse!

Your DH needs to face the fact that his adult DD won't be going on family days out any more and I don't see the issue with her cooking for herself as long as she cleans up? If needs be she just needs a list of stuff she can cook and stuff she mustn't use.

I would to be able to do this.

Unfortunately my life doesn't allow but it would be my natural pattern, lucky DD!

I know what you mean about it bro g annoying my son used to do this, but he would be in the kitchen cooking at 4am!!! I soon realised I was just annoyed he wasn’t living his lifelike I did or wanted him to that is all, and my DH encouraged me to leave him alone. He is 26 now and gets a train from his city apartment to his job at 6am and gets home about 8pm. I would leave her be.

Leave her to it, it's not stopping her working and it's only for the summer. Why does it matter to you?

An 18 year old is rarely going to want to go on a family day out!

Can’t really see the issue. Obviously it’s not a healthy sleep pattern long term but she’s getting up for work so it’s not like she’s doing nothing except sleeping. Why can’t she cook after you’ve had dinner, providing she cleans up and doesn’t make noise if it’s late at night? I had terrible insomnia as a teen, I basically became nocturnal, my parents just let me potter about at night as t didn’t do them any harm!

Agree with PP that when you work late you sometimes feel you need an 'evening' after your shift. If you worked a 9-5 you wouldn't be asleep in bed by 5.30pm, you have several hours down time. I work shifts and might get home at 3am, but spend a couple of hours mentally unwinding before going to bed. That being said, I would find it very difficult to stay up til 8am!

If she finishes work at midnight, she is home and settled for 1am. If that was equivalent to say 6pm for a ‘normal’ job, then I might not goto bed till midnight - 6 hours later. She is going to bed about the same time frame 7/8am if you work it out like that.

You'd let her use more food from the kitchen??

Why wouldn’t you? Are you on the wind up?

I wouldn't let her use more food from the kitchen. It would drive me nuts, really. Is there any way she can get a flat for uni?

If she's holding down a job, well done to the lass, and let her get on with it - I used to chambermaid as a teen and I was fucking shattered and slept when the rest of the house was doing stuff. Uni will be a different pattern for her but let her adapt. No point insisting she's round the breakfast table with you when she's going to be up late.

hollow Why wouldn’t you let her eat from the kitchen?!

I would yes. Not understanding why you wouldn't? She needs to eat and it's better than a takeaway every day.

I think the only thing you can insist on is used by more food. I’d just make her a portion of whatever you are having and save it for her.