DD going to bed at 8am and getting up at 6pm, would you allow this?

[evergreenmi]

Exactly what the title says. Thanks.

That's awful Emma. Some parents are very needy.

Oh, is op the one where there was an argument about the dd having showers so she offered to pay towards the water and was still told no?
Very strange dynamic if so.

Your DH is the most unreasonable here, YA also BU. Not sure why you can't go on days out, I know at 18 I didn't always do family things even though we were close, holidays included as I had my own friends, holidays etc.

Regarding food, not sure why she can't cook separately, what is your issue with it, surely she's not using anything extra than if she was eating with you, as long as she clears up etc.

My brother was similar re sleeping times when not at college. I can even remember when we went out clubbing we would not get up till the evening after in time to get ready to go out again. It's just a teen thing and we are both normal now with regards to sleeping.

I think as long as she doesn't moan if you are noisy during the time she is sleeping or there is something important you have all previously planned then it's a non issue.

I think it might be themythof. I think that op regularly name changes as they KEEP being told the dh is being ridiculous. There's been other threads too I think but the uni & shower threads do ring a bell.

Feel really sorry for the step daughter.

She'll need to shift her waking time when she starts uni as there will be 9am lectures. Half an hour a day for a couple of weeks and she'll be OK. Bit of a waste of £50,000 if she doesn't.
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It doesn't take a couple of weeks to re-set your clock. Night shift workers and those with jet lag do it all the time. Used to take me max 36 hours to get back to normal after a week of night shifts.

I’ve read some of the replies and I agree with them. I think as hard as it is to accept your daughter is growing up, she is. Yes she is still living in your home and does have to respect your wishes to a point but only like a lodger would. I think you need to accept that she will now live her life independent of your family in the main and she shouldn’t be expected to be involved in family outings etc unless she’s wants to. I think you are being unreasonable but I know it must be hard when it’s your little girl. My eldest is only 11 and I’m already stressing out about her growing up. So I know it’s hard to let them go but you need to so that she has a healthy environment to become an adult in. Yes, let her do her own thing sleep-wise, food-wise, life-wise, it’s imporant that she finds her own way in life; your home and family need to allow her the freedom and space to become a fully independent adult in a safe environment. You need to back off and give her the freedom she needs otherwise you risk rebellion, her leaving home without financial means, depression - all kinds of issues could stem from you holding her back from being an adult.

One more point from me. Your attitudes and views are very similar to how my mum was with me as a teenager. She couldn’t cope with other adults in the house and she made a complete hash of it all. Consequently, I don’t have a good relationship at all with my mum and my family and I rarely see her. out of choice. You still have time to make things right with your daughter. So please understand she is an adult. She might want to talk to you and need a hug from you at times but let her lead that. Just be there for her but let her get on with things her way as long as she’s safe. Sounds like she’s doing ok for herself. I think you should be proud of her and tell her so. Thanks