DD going to bed at 8am and getting up at 6pm, would you allow this?

[evergreenmi]

Exactly what the title says. Thanks.

When in worked til midnight. I would hen hang out with friends until 2/3am and go to bed around 5am then up at 1pm or 2pm

798,000 people aged 16-24 in the UK are not in training, employment, or education.

You have one that works shifts & plans to go to uni, and you're complaining...why?

YABU.

You sound like a control freak. Try being proud & kind instead of awkward & judgemental.

She is probably a vampire, can she go to uni at night? It will be safer for her

LMAO

She needs to go to a uni fsr away so daddy understands that she’s an adult!!

Ffs we have 5 kids and at one time 4 were teens and I can’t think of one occasion bar Holliday abroad or my birthday that we all went out together.

Your dh needs a head wobble.

I think as she lives in your home and you are funding her through uni with food and accommodation you do have the right to have house rules!

Plate her up dinner to reheat
Insist on spending some time with the family at least once a week (only a few hours) - very rude of her not too.

Your DH is being ridiculous about family days out though

She needs appointments at the bank to probably explain the overdraft which she's spending on her imagined coke habit

it is one summer - given that she's off to University she's presumably worked hard for her A-levels, is holding down a job before the next stage in her life starts... I hope she does well tomorrow OP

I'd talk to her - she has to wean herself off this sleep pattern or she will not be able to function properly an UNI - September is very close, so she needs to start shifting maybe 30 minutes a day? Do you think she'd see the sense in that?

It’ll be fine.
I’ve done it. It’s about 2 days of feeling like crap then it’s ok.

@anonimum so she'll be the only one awake in the daytime during Fresher's Week?

Hmm, I remember my parents being quite annoying when I was 18, an me trying to avoid them where possible. But my folks were WAY more laid back than you and your DH, so I don't think I'm going out on a limb by saying you probably need to get out of her hair! Bet you're not as much on the case of your younger kids when they reach 18

When you say evening work, it will depend on the work. I have done bar work and never felt like sleeping when I got in during the early hours, so slept days.

@Quangot - she is going to be living at home, I doubt it will same Fresher's week the others have... The pattern does sound like avoidance [of family] maybe she is trying to distance herself a little from a very close family so she is more prepared for Uni? Or possibly as she is not going to move away for Uni, she is using this situation to stake a claim for living 'her way' as the family are going to have to give her some space. I'm with everyone who thinks she should go live away for Uni...

Is this one of those threads where the OP expected to be told they were Not unreasonable and now is Never Coming Back? I remember being 18 and wanting to sleep All The Time. Sounds totally normal to me. Leave her be.

I'm with everyone who thinks she should go live away for Uni...

That does make big assumptions about finances - the loans really don't cover living expenses.

I'm a hard core night owl, and it sounds like the daughter is also. I work at a job that doesn't get done till 2 a.m. I then get home, make myself dinner, get caught up on tv and reading, and go to bed when tired ( I'm child free). I absolutely love it, and it works for me. If I need to get up early I do, not that hard, I'll either be tired or nap.

I understand from the good point of view. Although you could always just cook for the ones who are just eating family dinner and leave her to make her own food.

On the sleep note, as an ex uni student... sorry this is normal. Strange sleep patterns particularly when you're a night owl are par for the course. She Will learn when she off on her own that burning the candle at both ends will end badly. But unfortunately lately it's a lesson she will need to learn on her own.

I can see why you'd be annoyed OP. Genuinely. But I think it's something that's normal for teens about to go to uni and maybe you should try to let it go... she will go to uni and miss you so much... then she'll actively want to be part of family dinner and sibling time.

Try doing it with non-working skiving off colleges, gambling, drinking teenage loon. But the thing is, he managed to turn it around, took years. Now working in amazebobs job, got equally fab degree. Grit your teeth. They do come good. Good luck!

😩 she is 18 and she sleeps to much and plays her games console. She's not out drinking every evening with her friends, being rude and obnoxious or displaying any challenging behaviour other than sleeping at unsociable hours? You are winning, please don't moan about mustard being yellow.

Yanbu.

That was my life. I worked overnights in a printing plant. We didn't have air conditioning at home, so it was cooler at night to do things during my free time. Drove my mother insane.

IMO you are being BU. Christ sake if she wasn’t really tired she wouldn’t need that much sleep. Just let the poor girl be for crying out loud.

When I was a uni student I used to work evenings and had a similar sleep pattern. I couldn't switch off straight after work so I'd go to my friend's house or watch TV until 6am. When I'd drive home police frequently pulled me over just to ask where I was going! It seemed normal to me at the time.

My DS, who is 29, sleeps all day at the weekends and is awake all night so that he can participate in online gaming. I read that night shift work seriously affects health and those who do it have higher rates of cancer, strokes and other diseases. Disrupting the natural pineal cycle also causes weight gain and my DS is seriously overweight and cannot seem to shift it. He sleeps fairly normally in the week when he has to get up for work. It worries me a great deal and I would advise you to do anything you can to persuade your DD to live normal hours before the night life cycle becomes an incorrigible habit.

You AND dh are being ridiculous!

You're expecting her to behaved - and be managed/controlled like an 11/12 yr old when she's a grown adult!

Personally I think her living at home for uni is a mistake. With the way you and dh are she won't fully be able to get the most out of it because you'll be expecting her home at 6pm every night for dinner!

I've worked shifts like that and most jobs you need some unwinding time and to get something to eat etc before trying to sleep. You're also expecting her to eat a heavy meal at what is effectively her breakfast time!

Utterly ludicrous expecting an 18 yr old to set aside time for playing with siblings or family days out! Most outgrow that around 14/15.

Are you the poster who's dh wouldn't allow what is actually his stepdaughter to take up an Oxbridge offer because he didn't want her moving out?

Why are you begrudging her FOOD?

If she were on here posting about all this I'd be telling her to move out ASAP. The atmosphere must be thoroughly suffocating.

“Are you the poster who's dh wouldn't allow what is actually his stepdaughter to take up an Oxbridge offer because he didn't want her moving out?”