To not pay my sister back?

[GunpowderGelatine]

We were meant to be going on holiday to Spain at the weekend with the four of us (me DH DD and DS) and also our teenage niece. My son now has to have surgery on his arm after breaking it a couple of weeks ago - it turns out the break was much worse than they first thought. So as a result we can't go on holiday 😢 before anyone asks I don't want to send DD and DN with one of us as I really don't think it would be an enjoyable holiday with half the people there and half the people here in hospital.

I've claimed on our insurance, which is all year round insurance I've had for donkeys years. We cannot claim for DN as she is not a member of our household. I told my sister this, thinking that she'd have sorted insurance. She hasn't, so they will lose £450. My sister thinks we should pay this back to them out of the holiday money that's coming back to us, but I've said sorry it can't be helped but she should have taken out insurance. We have now fallen out. WIBU? We want to rebook for October half term and could do without giving her £450 on top of this!

To be honest l don't know why ye were taking your dn as sounds like you don't like her or her mother very much.
Where is your family kindness?

Really?! When have I said I sound like I don't like them?

Would you not say it was kind to agree to take her on our holiday?

What age is niece?

As you've said, your sister has gone on holidays many times and should be aware of the need for insurance. Especially since you were taking her on holiday, the least she could do is take some responsibility. YANBU

Hope your son's surgery will go well.

I think your sister sounds a bit dopey not to think or insurance, but to be fair, you were taking your niece and not your sis, so I think you maybe should have thought of that; otherwise you were considering taking a child on holiday with no insurance or not knowing if she was insured.

But the offer to pay for her at the next holiday sounds like a good compromise. And it sounds like you found a good deal so all should be happy.

I know it is not your fault but family feuds are so horrible and you say you love your niece's company or whatever so this sounds like a good compromise. (And a timely lesson to any of us contemplating holidays!)

Hope little's arm is OK.

DN apparently had a bit of a teenage style hissy fit about not having an abroad holiday......DN has calmed down after her apparently Kevin-style tantrum at the thought of not going on holiday this year

Hardly a 'lovely lass', she sounds like an entitled brat and has you all pandering to and enabling her.

TBF Heebie I think she is just your common or garden imperfect 14yo!

I think you should give a percentage back.you didn't specifically tell your DS that your db was not included in your family insurance.she's lost a lot of money,and see's you planning to go again,that must be hard for your dn.
Although not all your fault,your DS had a responsibility to check,you're not out of pocket and it would be lovely for your an to still have a holiday with you.
Rather that than a family divided for years.
Say you won't pay her it all but will offer x amount.
If she refuses that because she wants it all back,then you're right to not give her any.
Family is so much more important,especially for the younger ones who may need their cousins down the line.
I hope your DS gets better quickly.

Dn not db! Sorry

Great solution OP. Hope your DS gets well soon. It’s awful when little ones get hurt.

@GunpowderGelatine

So glad you've made up and have a solution. So not worth falling out over.

Enjoy your holiday when it comes

Your sister needs to ensure insurance is in place from the booking date, not just the travel date.

As an aside if you have annual family travel insurance through your bank it does not cover your child if they travel without you. DS has just gone to US with a friend and in view of horror medical stories we checked but you can get individual single trip insurance for u18s. It was only £20 for 2 weeks.

Gunpowder I think you were being kind to bring your DN in the first place and now offering to bring her in October. Your DN's insurance was not your responsibility. I can't understand some posters here, I just think if the OP says black they'll say white and find any reason to blame you. As the saying goes 'you can't do right for doing wrong'.

I hope your little fella gets on well in his surgery and you all enjoy your holiday in October.

I know loads of people who leave their travel insurance until just before they go, not realising they should really take it out when the holiday is booked or shortly after so they are covered for any incident running up to the holiday that may prevent them going

It's crazy not to buy insurance from the moment you book the trip. I research the insurance before I book and then immediately buy the insurance as soon as the flight payment has gone through. (I book the flights first, about 8-9 months in advance). If the airline goes bust the next day, or I break my leg two months before departure, I want to know that we're covered!

In retrospect it's like allowing dd on a school trip abroad without the school sorting out insurance for child & providing paperwork there is no coverage & you as a parent not bothering sorting it out & later asking school to financially reimburse you you just wouldn't do it would you, I feel she's taken advantage of you and your position as a family member guilt trip of we can't afford it and what not, totally agree with you not all going with a child so young op

& to be asking you to pay while your baby is in hospital awaiting surgery is blinking awful op

I think you should pay - at least half. You have canceled the holiday. I always have insurance but often leave it until a few days before hand.

Why do people leave travel insurance up until the last minute? Why do you not get it when you book, not necessarily through the travel agent, but the same day or check annual policy covers it etc.

@emmyrose2000 exactly what I do, book as soon as I have the flights booked.

I think lots of people only think of the insurance as covering them for their holiday dates and not from the time it is taken out.

I had an almost identical thread a few days ago. Although it was £1600. My friend who broke her ankle has to cover the £1600 as she lent the money to a friend who did not get insurance after friend had told her too. We sucked it up, didn’t mention it and they are both ok.

Your dsis should pay surely since she didnt sort insurance for her dd?

Most people would tick the box for insurance required on the holiday booking form so all members of the party would be insured. That would be the sensible and usually cheaper thing to do as there's no way anyone should be travelling abroad without decent cover.
I would assume (but also double-check) that it had been done and included as part of the holiday cost and would be surprised if it hadn't.
As the person doing the booking, if I'd booked insurance for four members of the party and not the fifth, I would explicitly inform that fifth member (or their parent).
So for that reason I think to expect your sister to pay more than half is a bit unreasonable.

But DSis claimed she would have booked the insurance in plenty of time. She didn't. You have no responsibility to pay. You should book your own insurance as soon as a holiday is booked OR check if your DD is covered. It's not up to you to be telling her. If you didn't feel it was important to tell DSis that DN needed spends, you don't need to tell her DN needs insurance

You booked the hol, you would be the responsible adult if something happened to dn abroad. You should have hsd insurnace.for her.i understand your point but im Sorry i think you're abu in this situation.

Christ alive there are some wet lettuces on here.
Your sister should have arranged travel insurance for her own child, do not pay her a penny, let it be a lesson to her to take responsibility for her own child, if the boot was on the other foot would she give it you?
Your child is 2 and having surgery, so it’s acceptable to send hubby, other child and niece on hols is it? - absolutely not, wouldn’t hubby be worried about the child as well, dear me, if you keep doing things like this to keep the peace folks will walk all over you, and I speak from personal experience, no more dancing to other people’s tunes
The child is your sisters and her responsibility to arrange insurance for not yours, she sounds like a right CF!