To not pay my sister back?

[GunpowderGelatine]

We were meant to be going on holiday to Spain at the weekend with the four of us (me DH DD and DS) and also our teenage niece. My son now has to have surgery on his arm after breaking it a couple of weeks ago - it turns out the break was much worse than they first thought. So as a result we can't go on holiday 😢 before anyone asks I don't want to send DD and DN with one of us as I really don't think it would be an enjoyable holiday with half the people there and half the people here in hospital.

I've claimed on our insurance, which is all year round insurance I've had for donkeys years. We cannot claim for DN as she is not a member of our household. I told my sister this, thinking that she'd have sorted insurance. She hasn't, so they will lose £450. My sister thinks we should pay this back to them out of the holiday money that's coming back to us, but I've said sorry it can't be helped but she should have taken out insurance. We have now fallen out. WIBU? We want to rebook for October half term and could do without giving her £450 on top of this!

Just seen your last post. If your sister just didn't bother to sort insurance out for her own daughter than that's her problem. Sorry but why should you pay!

If she had taken out insurance then I don't think they'd have paid out. You're family has got their money back so I'd at least offer half as it was your sons accident that stopped do from having a holiday.

We took a family member on holiday with us recently. I made sure they took out insurance as ours didn't cover them and we would have had to deal with any issues if they had been an accident. Still don't think you should pay for their lack of organisation though.

Yeah, I'm leaning towards sympathy for your sister tbh. You booked the holiday and made all the other arrangements so it would have been logical for you to book insurance for your niece at the same time while advising your sister of the additional cost. I get why you didn't think to do so already having other insurance for your family but it's still a bit shitty for your sister.

Is there no way the airline will let her change her flight to October when you go? There will be a fee, but maybe the two of you can split that?

You gave her paperwork that showed you haven’t insured her dd. She’s a grown women who should be insuring her DD. That’s one thing you clearly make sure you do before going away even if you end up with two policies you make sure your child is insured. Has she checked she doesn’t have a similar policy on her bank/house insurance?

mother my sister wasn't coming with us, they weren't going abroad this year and DN was upset about it so we offered to bring her on our holiday - she's lovely and a good lass, we are very close to her; so we were more than happy to have her!

To be honest I'd have sent DH with the two girls!

I think the person booking the holiday should also do the insurance.

Given that the holiday could still have gone ahead (without one parent and your poor wee DS - I hope he’s feeling better soon) but you made the choice to cancel I’d offer half back.

Even if she had insurance though, would this be covered? I’m not sure that her cousin breaking his arm would be enough of a reason for most insurance companies, and you could still go, though it would be less fun with only half of you there.. if it wouldn’t be covered then she’s not out of pocket because of the insurance issue, but just because you’ve decided not to go..

But she's not your child and you were taking her on holiday! Would you also say she's not your child so you're not responsible for her safety on holiday?

Of course I wouldn't say that! But forking our for insurance for her before we travel is not my responsibility.

To answer your question my sister asked if we could take her and we agreed

Is there no way the airline will let her change her flight to October when you go?

I am looking for holidays with the same travel agents so I will certainly ask!

I don’t think you need to pay her the money but if you do get a cheap deal in October it would be nice to offer to take her then instead. I’d say you will do your best to make it up to her but can’t afford to simply hand over this cash.

No insurance =risk of loss.

Did you tell her she needed to sort insurance? Explicitly?

This trip was canceled by you. I think you should cover half.

YeTalk no I didn't

I think you have both made assumptions here and are both equally responsible
As the adult taking the child on holiday you would have had some responsibility for ensuring they had insurance
As the parent of the child your sister would have had some responsibility in ensuring they had insurance
I think therefore you should split the cost

I can see both sides tbh OP, which is why I suggested going halves.

But could she come in October instead?

I think those saying its OP's responsibility are mad. She was doing her sister a favour bringing her child away on their family holiday, it doesn't mean she has to do everything for her. By this logic she should also pack her suitcase and buy her suncream.

And OP has not decided to cancel at all, her tiny child needs surgery. Thats' not a decision.

Presumably you gave to pay X amount each year for your insurance. If you've had it a long time you could feasible have paid more than you've claimed (or at least a large portion of it). I would explain this to your sister anf try to get her to see your point of view.nit would be sad to fall out permanently over money.

YANBU. My DB and SIL took DS on holiday with their family. EasyJet flights were cancelled and they rebooked next day to a different place. I claimed expenses on our insurance for DS and they claimed on theirs. It’s what you do. You don’t just have insurance in case your holiday is cancelled. If my DS and SIL are good enough to take DS away then the least I can do is make sure he has adequate insurance to make sure if anything happens it’s easy for people to sort out.

She could have still went on the holiday with at least one of you's, it was your choice to cancel the holiday entirely at that point.

I don't think I'd like to be away from my toddler after surgery tbh.

Your dsis needs to double-check that her dd was not insured - bank accounts may have it as part of a package or a family annual policy. Even at this late stage the airline will at least refund the flight taxes and you may get a small rebate on accommodation. You should probably have pointed out that she was not covered by your policy when booking but equally not your responsibility.

That first paragraph was a quote from up thread, btw.