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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay my sister back?

216 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 14/08/2018 16:36

We were meant to be going on holiday to Spain at the weekend with the four of us (me DH DD and DS) and also our teenage niece. My son now has to have surgery on his arm after breaking it a couple of weeks ago - it turns out the break was much worse than they first thought. So as a result we can't go on holiday 😢 before anyone asks I don't want to send DD and DN with one of us as I really don't think it would be an enjoyable holiday with half the people there and half the people here in hospital.

I've claimed on our insurance, which is all year round insurance I've had for donkeys years. We cannot claim for DN as she is not a member of our household. I told my sister this, thinking that she'd have sorted insurance. She hasn't, so they will lose £450. My sister thinks we should pay this back to them out of the holiday money that's coming back to us, but I've said sorry it can't be helped but she should have taken out insurance. We have now fallen out. WIBU? We want to rebook for October half term and could do without giving her £450 on top of this!

OP posts:
ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 17:32

DatlingNikita

No, the sister should have organised insurance for HER child beforehand, just as (presumably) she organised her passport, clothes etc.

I repeat, what would have happened if DN needed medical treatment costing thousands of pounds? Would she have expected her sister to stump up for it?

If DN needed hospital care, would she have called sis and said I'm not getting DN treated until you pay me?

BrokenWing · 14/08/2018 17:32

Did she have / did you discuss travel insurance for any potential accidents or medical emergencies when abroad? Very irresponsible to take someone's child abroad without making sure they are covered.

Its a difficult one, your sis should have sorted out insurance, you should have made sure there was insurance for any issues when you were away, you are the one choosing to cancel the holiday.

Would you have cancelled completely if you weren't covered by insurance and would have lost a lot of money, or would one of you went?

Id be tempted to go halves on any losses.

Gemini69 · 14/08/2018 17:33

You should pay since it's your fault that your son has a broken arm sort of thing (but I'm not blaming you obviously!)

Yes you are Hmm

I'm pretty sure the bairn didn't break his arm deliberately to avoid going on holiday with his cousin Grin

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:33

Timely reminder for us all to check our insurance is sorted though Smile

PattiStanger · 14/08/2018 17:35

Why would you complain to the insurers? When you take out insurance ime you have to give the names of the people to be covered. Why would they pay out on people not covered?

The OP has said the sister would have taken out insurance later (at least that's the way I read it) so she obviously didn't make any kind of assumption that her DD was covered. She has to at least take some responsibility.

Sparkletastic · 14/08/2018 17:38

Go halves.

MissContrary · 14/08/2018 17:40

Can you even get travel insurance for a child without an adult on the policy?

Whatsthisbear · 14/08/2018 17:41

she said she would have bought insurance in time. the time to buy insurance is when you book, not the day before you go. Confused

In the interest of family relations- you didn’t check DN was insured, her mum didn’t check she was covered with your insurance- I would split the loss between you. Your poor DS, you have enough to be worried about without stressing over a fallout over money. Hope the op goes ok.

DarlingNikita · 14/08/2018 17:42

I repeat, what would have happened if DN needed medical treatment costing thousands of pounds? Would she have expected her sister to stump up for it?

If DN needed hospital care, would she have called sis and said I'm not getting DN treated until you pay me?

Sorry, I don't really get why you keep asking. It's just whataboutery.

MyDirtyLittleSecret · 14/08/2018 17:42

I'm not mad, just seeing both POVs. Fact is when you book flights they always ask if you want insurance so I'm finding it difficult to understand why it didn't occur to OP to at least check with her sis. Even more curious to me is that OP was prepared to take away someone else's minor child without having ensured they had travel insurance cover.

catherinedevalois · 14/08/2018 17:43

As others have said even if the sister had taken out insurance it's unlikely the policy would have paid out. When we took our children's friends away with us we block booked insurance. Never occurred to us to ask the parents to do it. If it's all under the one booking then more chance of claiming for everyone.

ineedaholidaynow · 14/08/2018 17:44

You must be able to get insurance for a child without an adult, just for scenarios like this. Or when children travel as unaccompanied minors on planes

arethereanyleftatall · 14/08/2018 17:45

In your situation, I would have given my sister the full £450 back.

This is because it was your decision that one adult didn't go with the two girls. They could have done, but you decided that you both wanted to be there for your sons surgery. Which is your choice, but it isn't fair on your dn.

Original poster
GunpowderGelatine · 14/08/2018 17:45

Ok, have searched and we can go in October half term for £300 less than what we paid for this holiday, different hotel but same resort. So I'm going to offer to pay for DN's place. So we are only out of pocket £150. I think that's pretty good! Thanks for all your responses, I agree its not my responsibility to take out insurance for DN but I should have checked regardless and I didn't.

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 14/08/2018 17:46

Having taken large groups of people - not related - away previously, I am always wary of people having individual insurances. If something happened and someone had to be medically evacuated home not all parties in the group would be covered. Those on a family insurance would be but the niece may not be and then you would have had the dilema of getting her back.

I would have either had her added to your insurance for this trip, we can do this with our bank one - we have to add the children annually anyway as its just adults as standard.

I would say go halves or see if you can transfer the booking to the October trip.

Pinkvoid · 14/08/2018 17:48

You shouldn’t have assumed DN was insured and should have told your sister you weren’t covering DN so she would have to. If anything had happened to DN, it would have cost you a fortune.

I’m kind of with your sister on this in all honesty. It’s obviously nobody’s fault the trip was cancelled but she has now lost out on a fair bit of money because of it and because you didn’t also insure her DD.

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/08/2018 17:49

It's entirely your sister's fault. She didn't take out insurance, she should have. You owe her nothing.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/08/2018 17:51

Cross posted with your October holiday details, but good on you op. I think that's the right thing to do.

KurriKurri · 14/08/2018 17:52

If I had offered to take my neice on holiday and then decided to cancel (can't really see why you can;t have one of you stay with your Ds and the other take the girls to Spain) the discussion over money would not have arisen - I'd have givem my sister the money straight away no quibbles.
It's not your sister's fault you decided to cancel, why should she be out of pocket ?

And those saying she's not out of pocket - the money would be gone if the child had gone on holiday, yes it would, BUT the hild would have had a holiday. If you buy something and don't get the item you have bought, you are out of pocket - you haven't got your holiday and you haven't got your money to buy a replacement holiday.

Shocked at how people would happily treat family members like this.

AliceRR · 14/08/2018 17:55

Good on you OP

bubbles108 · 14/08/2018 17:56

can't believe you were about to go on holiday with a teenager without ensuring they were covered

bubbles108 · 14/08/2018 17:56

This

EleanorRigbey · 14/08/2018 17:57

YANBU. Don't pay, you were doing your sister a favour to start, she asked you if your DN could go on holiday with you. If I were you I wouldn't be keen to agree to take her again. Her child=her responsibility.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 17:58

DarlingNikita

It's not whataboutery. A direct consequence of not having travel insurance is that you are usiually responsible for all costs incurred. I'm asking you, since you think it's not OP's responsibility to ensure one of her party has insurance, who should be responsible for the cost of any medical treatment on holiday should DN need it? OP? The sister? The DN?

EleanorRigbey · 14/08/2018 17:59

Shocked at how people would happily treat family members like this.

The OP isn't treating her family members badly. She agreed to take her DN on holiday and now is being expected that fork out for her sisters mistake!

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