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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think holidays/travel are ruled out to me?

177 replies

palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:04

Please do not think this is an adverse inference on anyone who does holiday alone but it is not for me.

At the same time an organised group is my idea of hell.

So - going away seems out? Which is a shame.

OP posts:
foxtiger · 13/08/2018 13:13

I like going for long weekends/city breaks in a city where I know a couple of people, but not staying with them. That way, I can spend some time alone (which I do enjoy - I am married and go on a family holiday too but I love my "alone time"), but also spend some time with friends who will show me around, so I get to see things that aren't in the tourist guidebooks. Would that be any good for you? I can't comment on 2 week beach holidays alone as that's not the kind of holiday I go on, alone or with the family.

Jeippinghmip · 13/08/2018 13:19

Don't knock it until you've tried it. I went with a small company called Friendship Travel. As far as being part of a group is concerned, you can opt in or opt out. It's entirely up to you. I went on a Gulet holiday with them and it was amazing. It's your holiday and you can completely please yourself. You're not there with anyone else so you don't have to please a soul, other than yourself. I found it extremely liberating and very enjoyable. You're on your own but you have the support from a company. This was perfect for me, I couldn't have just gone on my own per se.

5foot5 · 13/08/2018 13:24

You seem to be suggesting that the only options available are holidaying alone or holidaying with an organized group, therefore I assume that you are single so won't be going anywhere with a DP.

But what about friends or other family members - is there nobody who you get on with well enough to suggest a trip away? Please don't think that is any sort of criticism, I am just trying to understand your situation.

Would you actually like to go away somewhere?

Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:28

I’m not taking it as a criticism, don’t worry Smile

My friends have their own families. I am single. So I do feel a bit rubbish given its summer and everyone is going somewhere.

OP posts:
HelpmeobiMN · 13/08/2018 13:29

Friend / relative? Seems an obvious third option!

Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:32

Well, yes, I don’t really have any relatives and my friends have their own families.

OP posts:
Jeippinghmip · 13/08/2018 13:33

Have a look at Friendship Travel palmtreeparrot. You can call them and have a chat.

Loopytiles · 13/08/2018 13:34

There are lots of options open to you: you’re rejecting them.

SnuggyBuggy · 13/08/2018 13:34

What puts you off going on holiday alone?

Missillusioned · 13/08/2018 13:34

I know what you mean. I find 24/7 company with someone who isn't a boyfriend massively irritating.

But at the same time I find travelling alone lonely. I am not afraid to do it, I am confident enough, but it seems unfulfilling for me.

I don't know the answer, sorry

Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:35

Are there, Loopy? What?

I really don’t want to go on any sort of organised holiday and I don’t want to holiday alone, I don’t have friends who would go with me.

I’m not trying to sound awkward, I promise, but I genuinely don’t know.

OP posts:
Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:36

Snuggy, expense for one thing. Also it’s just being alone somewhere else. I just wouldn’t enjoy it.

OP posts:
TheStoic · 13/08/2018 13:36

Yes I guess it is ruled out, if the pleasure of travel is outweighed by the pain of going it alone or with people you don’t know.

Have you tried it and hated it?

BarbaraofSevillle · 13/08/2018 13:37

Is there a reason why you can't go by yourself?

You get to choose exactly what type of holiday without having to compromise with anyone else and you just do what you want, eat where and when you want and can wander around or sit and read without feeling obliged to make sure someone else is having a good time.

Missillusioned · 13/08/2018 13:37

I think it may be a sharing rooms thing. I like to have a bit of solitude every day and I hate sharing a room with anyone who isn't a sexual partner, but friends assume we will share to keep costs down and it seems awkward and rejecting to object. Plus it would probably make the trip unaffordable for them to do this.

serbska · 13/08/2018 13:39

I really don’t want to go on any sort of organised holiday and I don’t want to holiday alone, I don’t have friends who would go with me.

So no friends, no family, no DP, won't go on anything organsied at all, won't go alone?

Yeah probably you won't go away then.

Frogscotch7 · 13/08/2018 13:39

Are you sure your friends wouldn’t go with you? Have you asked them? Actually decide where you’d like to go and when and then just put it out there that you’re looking for a travelling companion. Even if your friends won’t come, they might know someone who’d be interested. Do you have any cousins or other relatives who might join you?

serbska · 13/08/2018 13:40

I think it may be a sharing rooms thing. I like to have a bit of solitude every day and I hate sharing a room with anyone who isn't a sexual partner, but friends assume we will share to keep costs down and it seems awkward and rejecting to object.

Air bnb is your friend here - you can get 2 bedroom places pretty cheaply versus hotels

Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:40

Holidaying alone - I would hate eating in a restaurant alone. Sitting on a beach for hours alone. Travelling around alone. It’s just too much alone. The things described above are just my life anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:41

No relatives at all. Friends definitely not, they have young children and partners.

OP posts:
Missillusioned · 13/08/2018 13:41

Going alone is ok if you're the sort of person who is either outgoing enough to chat to anyone, or someone who is comfortable to be alone 24/7.

It is also probably more appealing to those who don't live alone and hence appreciate the novelty. If you spend a lot of time alone it's just more of the same

Original poster
palmtreeparrot · 13/08/2018 13:43

Yes. I mean, when I’ve had a ‘full house’ I’ve really felt that relief of being alone after it. But as a rule I am on my own 24/7 anyway!

OP posts:
easterholidays · 13/08/2018 13:45

Have you considered something like a yoga holiday or a diving holiday, where you would go alone but meet people doing the same activity while you were there? I suppose it depends how gregarious you are (I once went on a yoga holiday where everybody else was making friends for life but I was too shy to speak to anyone, but I am at the extreme end of that particular scale!), but that might be a way around it.

easterholidays · 13/08/2018 13:46

NB, doesn't have to be a physical activity; a friend often goes on writing holidays.

thenightsky · 13/08/2018 13:47

I occasionally have long weekends away on my own and mostly enjoy them. I went to Lindisfarne and the Northumbrian coast in May, just drove around in my little sports car, enjoying the scenery at my own pace. 3 nights in a premier inn. Ate at the hotel, with a book to read.

Me and DH used to go diving in Egypt and often bumped into single women there, enjoying me-time, sat at the bar, chatting to new people, reading, etc.