AIBU to think holidays/travel are ruled out to me?

[palmtreeparrot]

Please do not think this is an adverse inference on anyone who does holiday alone but it is not for me.

At the same time an organised group is my idea of hell.

So - going away seems out? Which is a shame.

OP, what sort of holiday do you think you might enjoy, if you did have someone to go with? When you say you wouldn’t go on an organised holiday, do you mean a package holiday, or something with a definite itinerary?

There are lots of travel companies that offer flights/hotel for singles, with a ‘host’ to organise optional group dinners/excursions etc, but you only have to join in when you want to.

Or some cruises lines such as offer deals for solo travellers. Again, there is a host who organises optional group activities/meals etc, or you can make your own arrangements on your own or with other solo travellers that you meet.

Strikes me that this issue isn't about travel but your life as a whole.

I sympathise with you a great deal - I'm also single and find holidays by myself difficult, especially since I'm a bit of an introvert so if I do go off by myself I'm unlikely to find it easy to talk to others. And group holidays can be a bit regimented and also aren't cheap. BUT its a big world out there, and I don't want to get to the end of my days not having seen much of it or even much of the UK. So, I suck it up as much as I can, and find ways round it. I'd urge you to look again at small group holidays or interest-based holidays, as they do attract a good mixture of people and are usually designed so that there's time by yourself. Some also offer single rooms - there may be a supplement for this, but there may not be. With short trips within the UK, why not combine them with popping in to see friends/relative you might have in other parts of the country who you feel you can't quite invite yourself to stay with? So there's a bit of human contact as part of the trip. You've now prompted me to commit to a short trip to Cornwall next week - there's a garden and a play I want to see and a friend to drop in on on the way back!

Just to add - I've done all sorts of things on my own. Some have been fab. Some have been shit. But personally, I much prefer the knowing that I did xyz to the idea that I could be sitting around wishing I'd done it, but didn't because I was scared. I don't regret any of the solo stuff I've done, even the shit things. But I do regret the things I didn't do because of silly reasons. I realised that nobody was going to come along and rescue me and come with me on all sorts of dream trips (which incidentally were MY dream trips, not Mr Imaginary's) so I try just to get on with doing stuff.

Is there a place or event that you have always wanted to go to? That would be a good starting point for planning a trip. Do you like beaches, museums, art, music, walking or wildlife? I’m sure people here could recommend places to visit if you can give us some idea of things you enjoy doing.

I think you need to broaden your perspectives a little. Try something that you haven't done before and all that

I sort of get this as my social life hasn't always been great. I ended up forcing myself to do things like seeing films or going on day trips by myself until I got more used to it.

Yes I appreciate what you’re saying but I think I would still be missing out if I went alone

As opposed to now, when you're not going at all?

What do you tend to do as leisure activities and what would you like to do? Taking up a new hobby would be a good way of meeting people.

I'm a scuba diver and BSAC club member. We have a regular club training night, have regular days out to dive in lakes and the sea and go on holiday together to dive - I've made quite a few friends this way and we even do non diving days and nights out together too. You could do this sort of stuff with lots of other hobbies, cycling, running, hiking, book groups, craft clubs, all sorts.

If you don't want to go abroad or on a 'proper' holiday, can you build up to it?

Go on some local days out and treat your locality like a tourist would. Look at the local tourist information website (www.visityourtown.com) or go in person and choose a few things to do and do them.

Go for a day out at the coast or to a nearby big city you haven't seen enough of. Or book a night's accomodation and go early in the morning to get two days there?

A PPs driving tour and Premier Inn break upthread sounded quite lovely.

Or a cruise, that's often a good choice for a solo traveller and you can mix with people or be alone as much as you like.

My sister is single and has done several cooking holidays in Italy with 'Flavours'.

She is not the most sociable sort, but the mix of doing things in a group and time to herself seems to work out well.

I'm not single but I needed a break when my DP couldn't come so went on a coach trip with ledger for singles , mixed group age , about 55 % female 45% male , some were like me in relationships but for whatever reason travelling alone , most were lovely ,

I used the trip as a base to explore and did the trips out but did my own itinerary making sure I was back to the coach in good time , it was ok to share a table in the evening for the evening meal and catch up on what we had all been doing through the day without the pressure of having to do it with them , but as I say that was my choice some paired up into little groups and others had met on previous trips and had become friends , I'm not a group person but it was a pleasant trip away

Maybe It's worth considering ?

So you don't want to go on holiday with people unless you already know them, but you don't know anyone that could go with you, and you don't want to go on holiday alone.

Yeah, if you aren't willing to compromise on one of those things then you are staying home. That's a choice you are making, don't pretend that you have no options. You do, you are choosing the option of going nowhere.

Solo travel is incredibly rewarding and you are far more likely to meet new people than if you aren't with others. The first time I went to a Restaurant alone, I felt really self conscious. Till I realised nobody else cares. And in fact solo travel is really liberating and empowering.

How about a cruise? You get your own space but you get people to eat with and socialize with if you want to. You also get to get on and off and visit new places if you feel like it. I saw a programme the other night and there was a man who met his now partner on a cruise.

What about a sort-of group holiday but where you have some organised time and some time to yourself?

For example, I've been on a few yoga retreats/holidays alone and it's a good balance –you generally eat together and of course do yoga as a group, but you get time in between to explore the area/sit alone and read etc. It doesn't have to be yoga, obviously, that's just the kind of alone holidays I've done.

Would you enjoy things like museums/galleries/cinema alone? I'd love to go on a city break by myself and think it's very easy to spend time alone in a city –a lot of people do so. You can find restaurants where you can eat at a counter or bar, which to me feels less odd than sitting at a 'proper' table, and you get to go to galleries etc of your choice and spend as long as you want there. Again, loads of people will be at places like that alone.

I went on holidays by myself once.
But it was to visit people who lived in the places I was travelling to, mostly. I went via Hong Kong to Australia - stayed with friends of the family in HK, then to one friend in Queensland, another in Tasmania, another in Sydney. In between I went to Cairns and Ayres Rock (didn't know anyone at either place).
I didn't think I would like it much, being on my own - I don't even like to go to the cinema by myself! - but it was such a great experience and I had a great time.

Could you maybe do that? Visit friends, if you have any living in areas you want to visit?

Odd thread. Yes, they are ruled out to you because you choose not to go and say no to all the suggestions. Not because they actually are ruled out to you in reality.

Are you sure that your friends with kids wouldn't go, have you asked them? I have a young dd but still get together with a few friends every year for a short break. I'm off to dubai with my friend and niece in Oct and will go on a city break with other friends early next year. They might really fancy a break away if you suggest it.

I second an activity holiday. Plenty of choice, whatever you fancy, painting, learn a language, cookery, music, writing, climbing, sailing, or go as a volunteer eg with the National Trust. Most people will probably be singles and doing a shared activity builds relationships - you can then spend the rest of the day as you wish, either with your new acquaintances or solo.
My dream solo holiday is at a language school at Taormina, Sicily, with language lessons in the morning and private cookery lessons in a local family home or organised excursions in the afternoons.

I went to Champneys on my own and I'm sure there are other similar places abroad if you want. There were many (mostly women) on their own and you could eat your meals at a communal table if you wanted. I would say a cruise would also be ideal. Your own cabin and space and you can join in activities as and when you want.

Neilson Beachclubs...sometimes single offers without supplements early and late season.

Very highly recommended.

You can be alone or choose to sit on a social table for meals.

Yoga, sailing, windsurfing, cycling, chilling.....all included, or just a lounger by the pool...

There’s no way my friends could afford that x

For goodness sake, OP, have a word with yourself. You have two options - go on holiday alone or go with people. Neither one is terribly difficult to do. Oh, that’s right - Option three is to bitch about something that isn’t really an issue, then reject every possible solution on the grounds that you’re simply unique and no solution will apply to you. If you’re this much hard work in real life, frankly I’m not surprised that your friends don’t want to take a holiday with you.

I’m not bitching but you’re right, actually. I think I am horrible. Sorry.

Could they afford a weekend in the UK? We've had a couple of great weekends in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Really does you good to get away and recharge your batteries even if you don't go far.