AIBU to think holidays/travel are ruled out to me?

[palmtreeparrot]

Please do not think this is an adverse inference on anyone who does holiday alone but it is not for me.

At the same time an organised group is my idea of hell.

So - going away seems out? Which is a shame.

Sign up for a weeks course learning to crew a sailing yacht or learning to ride a horse or beginners diving or something. There'd be other people but you wouldn't be holidaying "with" them but rather all being together learning the same thing.

I learned to sail this way - the first holiday was just something to do as a person alone needing a break but have loved it.

Yes I appreciate what you’re saying but I think I would still be missing out if I went alone.

I think I’m allowed to be slightly brisk as I do holiday sometimes on my own. I don’t have a partner or family and my friends don’t always want to go to the same places as me. You can say “I went on an organised holiday, it was hell, I’m never doing that again” but you can’t say that you would hate it without even trying it.

People have made some excellent suggestions for holidays here, so why not just try one? I’m not too keen on eating alone in restaurants just because to me that is more of a social activity, so I might rent an apartment and eat at home, or go to an informal café where it’s quite normal to be on your own.

And I love my friends dearly, but sometimes when we’re all milling about & nobody can agree on what to do next, I often think “it’s so much easier when I’m on my own!”

I did 3 months in Europe on my own in my early 30s. Train pass. I had the best time of my life. MAde friends along the way and saw lots of things I wanted to see. Go for it.

But, regardless of individual choices people on here make, asking a friend to come abroad with you and leave her young children at home, is a big ask and I just don’t know anyone who would

How do you know if you don't ask? You're not asking for a favour, you're asking if they want to do something fun. I have a baby and yet go away on weekends away with friends and would be gutted if they didn't invite me to do something because of having kids.

Oh and invite me - would love a holiday without DD and DH!

If you got yourself a holiday cottage it could be like a home from home. Maybe even relax in a hot tub, if they have them. You could explore another town, look round castles, art galleries and museums. Buy yourself some local delicacies from the bakeries / independent food shops. Go swimming or walking or running. I find I feel a lot less self conscious alone if I am doing something.

Anyone fancy doing the Camino de Santiago walk in North Spain next June? I was thinking of doing approx 100 kilometres walking over a couple of weeks but if it got really bad, some parts by bike or if it gets desperate the bus. Among lots of different highlights there's a free wine on tap part. I'd like to finish off at the ocean.

Do you know about the Thelma and Louise website OP? I've done one holiday with them and had a blast - you can specify the size of group you want to go with, the budget, whether you're willing to share rooms etc. I'm quite happy to holiday alone so I've only used them the once (to a destination I didn't feel safe visiting on my own) and it worked very well.

Other than that, I second pps who've said try signing up for a residential course or holiday of some kind. They really aren't Club 18-30 holidays for older people! If you have a hobby or interest of some kind, there are likely to be residentials in it. I've been on some Swimtrek holidays where they take you out in a boat each day to swim in beautiful locations and had a wonderful time but haven't felt in the least bit herded around in a group.

They are ruled out to you because you have ruled them out.

I am holidaying alone. I always do.

In some ways, it's nice. I don't have to compromise, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, get up when I want etc.

However I do feel quite lonely sometimes too. But it's a small price to pay, otherwise I would never go anywhere! The thought of an organised trip for singles or other people fills me with horror.

I've just joined Thelma & Louise, thanks for the recommendation morningtoncrescent62

Have you actually tried holidaying alone? If not, why don't you try an overnight stay somewhere?

TBH I'm not one for it either as far as going to a place where I'd primarily want to 'tour', do activities, or visit sites. But for a beach or mountain holiday where the object is just to rest and 'regroup' myself, I love the solitude.

As far as eating alone, I usually eat in my room when I'm by myself. Or you could see if a self-catering place would suit you.

Oh i am in the same boat! I am too scared to travel alone and group tours are way too expensive. I have a fear of getting lost. I went to scotland alone once and got lost. It was january and nighttime. It poured with rain and i got soaked and walked for 4 hours trying to look for my hotel. 4 hours before i finally found a taxi rank but by thwn i was crying, stressed, soaked and sick.

Do you have any hobbies? several of mine offer assorted weekend gatherings. There are sometimes classes, vendor halls, even cocktail parties. It varies by hobby and particular gathering. They are typically hosted at a hotel. You stay onsite and have activities on site so that helps with logistics and solo safety, but there is nothing stopping you from also exploring the host city a bit. I desperately want to go on one of these trips, but I’m not at a stage in life where it is feasible.

For eating out in strange places, I often have to travel solo for work. I am an introvert and after a day of meetings I need solitude. I have ordered takeaway from very nice restaurants. Nothing like enjoying an amazing meal in your hotel bathrobe.

I don't get why things are ruled out for you. I'd understand if you felt things were ruled out because you don't have the money for a holiday, or because you have a disability - but you don't mention those things being issues. So the whole world is there for you!

I firmly second all the advice to try a trip alone. Travelling alone is brilliant! But if you hate it, you will at least have tried, and you'll know to avoid in future. Right now you don't know!

How about asking your friends on Facebook if anyone fancies a trip somewhere? You may be surprised at the friend with kids who could do with a break, the family who invite you along with them, or the friend who lives somewhere interesting who invites you to stay. Does that sound too exposing? I'm not sure I'd have done that in my 20s - but in my 40s I absolutely would, and do! (Have done similar and found people to do things with that I'd never have thought of, and have better friendships as a result.)

Take the opportunities that are there. See the world. Explore. Nothing is limiting you except your own self.

We've done a few Neilson beach-club holidays- there were lots of single guests, with the couples and groups all learning to sail/ windsurf/ play tennis.
The restaurant has a Social Table that anyone can sit at or single tables if preferred.

A friend of mine went to Italy on a cooking course, the morning was spent buying ingredients in the market then cooking in the afternoon. Other guests went to learn to paint watercolours.

Seems sad not to even try a solo holiday.

OP - I think that you have issues with self esteem and feel somewhat insecure. Once you are out of your familiar environment, these seem a lot worse.

I have been in a similar situation - no-one to go with, not wanting to go alone and terrified at the prospect of an organised holiday.

Then I found a solution. I joined in with local activities - a choir and a wildlife group. The latter organised day trips by coach to wildlife sites a couple of hours away. Not being a good coach traveller but happy to drive myself there, I asked the organiser if I could meet the group there. I booked a Premier Inn the night before and the night after, knowing that I would spend the whole day in between with the group who I knew. Still had time to myself either side.

Similar situation with the choir. We had a 'tour' to an historic city about 100 miles away. It was up to you how you got there and where you stayed - the only fixtures were the rehearsal & concert times. Some people went together and stayed in the same hotel; others like me did their own thing. But other people were around if you needed company. We set up a text messaging group so people could say "I'm having dinner in pub X. Anyone want to come along?" You never felt alone.

Re eating on your own, I would reiterate the point about lunchtimes. Also, I am always happy to go to fast food places if I am away - at least you know what you are getting! If it's really hot, I'll have a supermarket salad and a sandwich in my hotel room.

I do think that you have to look at general issues of loneliness and even depression in your life. It seems that the issue of going on holiday is just making things worse. Do get help.

Try a weekend city break first. Don't go for too long an see how it goes.

Have a look at this OP:

Your first time Arrow logo
Holidaying alone for the first time, without a partner or friend to share both the stress and the fun, is daunting. Although we’ve arranged holidays for tens of thousands of single travellers, we never forget this, and we’re here to help.

Some of the main concerns are dealt with here. Other questions are answered on our FAQs page. You can also visit our Chat Room, where you’ll find lots of other single travellers who were first-timers once, and who know exactly how you’re feeling.

Click here for further details - for first time, nervous travellers

What is a singles holiday like ? Arrow logo
It’s easier to say what it is not. It is not about matching people up. It is not about doing everything together. It is not a coach tour for 40 people. It is not an 18-30-something club holiday.

A Friendship Travel singles holiday is whatever you want it to be. You can snooze by the pool all afternoon or sightsee till your feet bleed; enjoy intelligent conversation in the bar or bop till you drop in a night club. Between you, your fellow guests and your Friendship host, you decide what sort of holiday you want to enjoy.

Have a look at the Website OP. What have you got to lose by looking?

www.friendshiptravel.com/firsttimetraveller.html

Friendship Travel sounds interesting. Though, these niche companies are often quite expensive.

I hear ya, OP! I like travelling on my own - to an extent. I have done recently and really enjoyed it. Like you, I spend a fair bit of time on my own but still like to "get away". However, I do remember one evening eating alone overlooking a beach. Ate there a few evenings, but this was so beautiful and romantic, dare I say, I felt uncomfortable. I ended up thinking of my dad for some strange reason, and "tearing up" .

But overall I like travelling on my own, just not for too long ...

What do you like doing in general? Active stuff? Shopping? Spa? Reading? History? Art? Music?

Could you maybe build up to going on holiday alone by doing a weekend in the UK then a long weekend etc.

I did a yoga type thing on my own and it was great. Some organised stuff or you could do your own thing.

Bil is contemplating a holiday alone and he likes music so us thinking of going to see his favourite band in the US. Could you consider something like that?

I don't think OP is coming back. Like others upthread, I'm not sure what the OP wanted from the thread. I don't get the impression that she wanted suggestions.

Has anyone got any advice for solo travelling when the fear is getting lost? I would love to solo travel but after my one disasterous attempt i am afraid to go abroad when i want to.