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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL has not vaccinated my nieces

999 replies

Pittcuecothecookbook · 12/08/2018 19:49

My baby has been booked in for her vaccinations soon. I asked my sister in law, who has primary school aged kids, about the experience and I was flabbergasted when she said she didn't get their jabs. I can't quite believe it!

When I asked why, she said the risks outweighed the pros but she struggled to articulate what the risks were beyond 'potential death'. I said that that was also the downside of not getting the jabs too! She said she was persuaded when her friend said that the jabs couldn't be undone if her kids had a reaction.

AIBU to be shocked and quite disappointed about this? I'm not looking forward to it by any means, but the eradication of many awful diseases and protection against those still prevalent is surely a non negotiable?

When her kids don't get these diseases, she'll be vindicated but that will likely be because the majority have had their jabs rather than proving jabs were unnecessary.

I imagine I'll get over this - my child will be protected - but I'm just Shock at hearing this news.

OP posts:
Thatsfuckingshit · 12/08/2018 19:51

Do the children not have 2 parents?

What was the opinion of the other parent?

Original poster
Pittcuecothecookbook · 12/08/2018 19:55

Their dad was at work at the time, but clearly he agrees given that they aren't vaccinated. What difference would it make to my post if my bro was fully on board with my SILs decision or he was totally against it? Regardless, they haven't been vaccinated, which is the issue here, isn't it?

OP posts:
MissContrary · 12/08/2018 19:55

Some parents choose not to vaccinate. It's hardly shocking.

Moominfan · 12/08/2018 19:56

I think it is shocking. Babies die from easily preventable diseases yet parents choose not to.

Cheby · 12/08/2018 19:57

Your sibling’s wife or your husband’s sister? If it’s the former I’d probably ask what the hell my sibling was playing at. If the latter it’s more difficult so I might not tackle directly. But either way, there is NFW we would be socialising with them until my children were old enough to have had all of their vaccinations.

Nicknacky · 12/08/2018 19:57

I’m curious as to why you are placing fault all at your SIL’s door and not including your brother?

Original poster
Pittcuecothecookbook · 12/08/2018 19:57

I didn't think anyone I knew, particularly my SIL, would take that risk though! That's the shocking part. I'm shocked someone I knew would be so blase about it and didn't really give a strong argument - just that death was a potential risk of getting them...?

OP posts:
MissContrary · 12/08/2018 19:57

So why isn't your post titled my brother has not vaccinated my nieces? Or my bro and sil has not vaccinated my nieces?

Cheby · 12/08/2018 19:58

Some parents choose not to vaccinate. It's hardly shocking.

It is shocking. It’s also idiotic and spectacularly selfish.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/08/2018 19:58

Strange blaming. Why not aibu my brother hasn’t vaccinated....

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/08/2018 19:59

Surely it isnt shocking that some parents don’t. There won’t be a 100% take up.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 12/08/2018 19:59

Some people choose not to vaccinate their children. Some choose to vote Brexit.
Wherever you look there are thick uneducated people who do stupid things. Sadly that’s life

Brokenfurnitureandroses · 12/08/2018 20:00

Yes your child will be protected but not protected against everything straight away (the diseases that can be vaccinated against). So she will be at risk from a number of preventable diseases when seeing her cousins until she has all her vaccinations when old enough.

cantthinkstraighta · 12/08/2018 20:01

Because maybe it was through her sil she learnt of the fact - so is just relaying information as to who told her Hmm

My sil doesnt vaccinate after her 1st as it caused a squint HmmGrin I still find it hard not to laugh at the reason. Plus her healer who sends healing vibes from Spain told her not to Hmmsil is supposed to be bright

Shitonthebloodything · 12/08/2018 20:01

In the absence of medical reasoning yanbu it's stupid and irresponsible... But this is Mumsnet so i expect you'll be told it's their decision/mind your own business/vilified for daring to question it despite all reason.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/08/2018 20:02

Why are you all assuming it’s her brother who is the dad? Confused

LakieLady · 12/08/2018 20:02

I think it's shocking. If everyone had been like her we'd still have smallpox and polio.

Polio has been reduced by 99.9% in 20 years, and is only present in a few countries in the world now.

Nicknacky · 12/08/2018 20:02

Because she says it’s her “bro”

Original poster
Pittcuecothecookbook · 12/08/2018 20:03

I'm blaming them equally! My bro was at work when it came up so not involved in the convo. I will definitely be asking him about it when I see him next.

They didn't even give me the heads up and me and my baby have been round there most weeks since she was born.

If I had posted 'my sister hasn't vaccinated my nieces', would your responses be different? Why because it's my SIL (who I am as close to as my actual sis, and had been in my life for years and years) mean I can't have this convo with her directly?

They are both equally to blame obviously. Even if he disagrees, he hasn't done anything practical about it.

OP posts:
Aintnothingbutaheartache · 12/08/2018 20:04

Omg! Are we really still discussing vaccinations?! Children will die if stupid people choose not vaccinate. I am bewildered by the idiocy

MissContrary · 12/08/2018 20:04

It's about as shocking as hearing Boris Johnsons made another blunder.

PurpleDaisies · 12/08/2018 20:04

Some parents choose not to vaccinate. It's hardly shocking.

It is shocking because it’s unusual and totally irresponsible (barring proper medical reason).

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/08/2018 20:05

Ah yes! I was just re-reading the OP!

Nicknacky · 12/08/2018 20:05

You aren’t blaming them equally. You don’t even mention your brother until later posts. At least own it and say you are blaming her because she is mum.

And I think everyone should be vaccinated but it’s not all down to mums.

JenBarber · 12/08/2018 20:06

Her baby, her choice.

I wouldn't get involved.