to be sick and tired of people being rude about our home?

[Breadsticksandhummus]

We (DH, me and 2 year old DS) live in a 2 bedroom flat in London. It's pretty small, but it's not tiny. It doesn't have a garden. We bought it four years ago, are not planning any more DC and have no plans to move. It's 30 minutes away from my mum's and we have a great support network in this area. DH's commute is quick and easy (I work from home).

So we are fine. We are happy. And yet I am SO sick and tired of comments (mainly from DH's family, but also from some extended members of mine and a few friends) about "poor DS" "not having enough space to run round" and expressing shock and horror that for the same price of this flat in London we could have bought a house outside London, constantly asking when we're planning on moving etc etc. Yesterday when MIL was here she said "oh this place gets smaller every time I visit".

I find it really insulting and upsetting. We've done it up nicely. We keep it tidy, clean and clutter free. DS has a nice home here with everything he needs. OK we have no garden but we have at least 3 or 4 lovely big parks within walking distance of the flat, a garden at my mum's and he has a lovely big garden at nursery which he goes to 3 days a week. I can't drive for medical reasons so being in London is incredibly convenient for me as I can simply walk or get public transport everywhere.

I wouldn't dream of visiting someone else's home and making such comments. Why do they do it?!

To clarify: the people the OP is complaining about are perhaps envious - jealous is not the right word - about her living in the capital city. That’s all. They are clearly not envious of the size of her flat or whatever.

I shared my story earlier. We've had this situation too & I DID move out of London into a bigger property & it's ex London friends who have bitched about our house in a similar way to the OP

You are clearly very happy where you are...just be as honest to anyone who mentions it as you have done in this post. Tell them you find them rude etc they'll soon stfu!

We do get birds singing in London. They don't all drop dead at the Hertfordshire border.

I've got four goldfinches scrapping over their bird feeder right now. We have robins (who had a chick this year and taught it to forage in our garden; very cute), great tits, a couple of blackbirds, wrens and more. Sometimes the parakeets do a noisy flyover.

This supercilious 'we only have living things in the country' stuff does my head in. Whenever I try to go to the country you can't walk anywhere to hear any birds because it's all fenced off with barbed wire and threatening signs and/or there's no pavement because everyone drives about at 100mph.

I don’t live in London or the country. I live in a town, without much countryside nearby and I still have goldfinches, robins (both have nests in the garden and I’ve lost so much time just watching them).

They love their bird baths!

I am looking at a parakeet sitting in the tree (yes, a tree!!!!!!!!) outside my bedroom window.

I think someone upthread asked if I lived in Brockley - I don't - but I'm very nearby!

Isn’t there a famous tree somewhere that a family of parakeets moved into years ago and they’ve just stayed?

Never mind, it’s parrots not parakeets and it’s in Brooklyn, New York!

Still a cool tale though

You’re supposed to want a house with a garden in a ‘nice’ suburban or country area, aren’t you? But not all of us want it.

We do have a house with a garden but it’s in London, and we have a few comments from people about London not being a place for children. Absolute tosh! If you live in London and you like it, you’ll know all the benefits and opportunities city life brings.

Ignore the comments. Some people seem not to be able to fathom that we all have different ideas of what a good life is.

Isn’t there a famous tree somewhere that a family of parakeets moved into years ago and they’ve just stayed?

Yes there is. It's in Hyde Park. We've been a couple of times over this summer. If you take apples or dried fruit and hold them in your hand they'll fly down and sit on your arm and eat the food, sometimes two or three at a time. They're not the only flock. There's a small flock near me as well in West London, sometimes even visiting a large tree just outside my house. They don't come often but they make a really distinctive sound when they do come so we know they're there and all go for a good look. They're stunning.

London Parakeets.

londonist.com/london/great-outdoors/london-s-parakeets-everything-you-need-to-know

HollyGibney thank you! I was so sure it was parakeets and London but only the Brooklyn parrots came up when I googled!

I love the theories as to how they got there but that nobody really knows.

We get the parakeets chirping away in the trees in the north London garden square where I live

They're bright green and make a right old racket when they're chatting away to each other, so pretty distinctive!

There are children in this country homeless, in care, poorly and abused. Your son doesn’t have a garden attached to his home SO WHAT? -The parks are your garden and your friends and family making these comments are rude.

You live in London because you choose. I can’t belive people would say things about the size of your home it’s disgusting! Your mother in law should be ashamed.

Many people that live in big cities don’t have gardens, it’s hardly unusual and definitely not child cruelty. The fact you have parks nearby is more than enough.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I wouldn’t want to see them again. There is nothing worse than a tight arse. With their own son, daughter in law and grandchildren!! WTF my husbands mum and dad are not well off my any stretch of the imagination and honestly they would give us their last penny to make sure we had everything we needed. If someone has nothing than it doesn’t matter but to be stingy over food!! They need to not be involved in your life I would never go again!

I was once on a bus going past my London flat when a kid about 10yo, said to his dad with a turned up nose 'I wouldn't want to live here.'

It pissed me right off, I though you little shit, you'd be lucky to live here, I've had to work bloody hard to live here and you've got no chance.
You're talking half a mil for a 1 bed flat.

Anyway, I don't live there any more, I moved because it was a right shit hole area

Parakeets here in Hackney too! Love watching them outside in the trees - usually quite a few of them. I also saw a woodpecker once!

We used to live in a N London garden square (loosely...garden might be pushing it a bit. But it was nice anyway) and we had loads of parakeets in the trees (yes, trees, in London, who knew?) behind. Noisy but beautiful

Just ignore them op. My mum went wild at me because I moved from a 70's 3 bed that I hated but which had a garden to a 600 year old house (half an old pub) with a communal garden only-shared with the other 4 Homes that are in what used to be. The stables and what not-and that you have to walk around a corner to access.
I hate gardening so it suits me fine. Yes it's slightly less convenient not to be able to chuck the dogs out of the door in the morning and leave them. But it's no big deal really to take them to the garden or down the lane for ten minutes, and any inconvenience is mine not hers. I'd still sooner that than have to mow the lawn every week or whatever which I now don't have to to do.
Likewise the DD's are 11 and 12 and quite capable to waking the extra 50 yards to the garden if they want to.
My mum mentions it every time she comes to stay. I literally just ignore her about it now and change the subject. She is obsessed with gardening and her garden and she will never understand why I'm not.

(Totally ignoring the London/not-London turn the thread took.)

My home needs work done and for various reasons is often a bit untidy - a friend who always commented eventually got told "This is my home, we are happy here and we love it, and there are many ways to live." She stopped. Good luck with your mum.

Op I feel your pain. I get similar comments from my mil and fil about our house in London. Apparently it's far too small and we don't have a proper garden. Nothing I say is going change thier view that we need to move out of London to a commuter town. Much as it drives me crazy I just nod and smile.

Your mil would hate us then! Not only do we have a small two bedroom bungalow with 1 DC but we're thinking of another DC in the next year or so we also have a big dog and cats so we're cramped.

My mil and fil (self employed builder) come over and are always commenting over cleanliness, tidyness, why have you not plastered that wall yet. Yeh because DH being an IT manager would be able to make it look good enough to their standards. When DH does try DIY fil just picks it apart too . Really annoys me so I never invite them over now.

DM sends me links to some "gorgeous" bigger houses. Yes they're lovely mum but no one will buy our house, we tried! DM says oh but this house down the road is so gorgeous. Haha that doesn't sell my current fucking house though does it !?

Sorry rant over