to be sick and tired of people being rude about our home?

[Breadsticksandhummus]

We (DH, me and 2 year old DS) live in a 2 bedroom flat in London. It's pretty small, but it's not tiny. It doesn't have a garden. We bought it four years ago, are not planning any more DC and have no plans to move. It's 30 minutes away from my mum's and we have a great support network in this area. DH's commute is quick and easy (I work from home).

So we are fine. We are happy. And yet I am SO sick and tired of comments (mainly from DH's family, but also from some extended members of mine and a few friends) about "poor DS" "not having enough space to run round" and expressing shock and horror that for the same price of this flat in London we could have bought a house outside London, constantly asking when we're planning on moving etc etc. Yesterday when MIL was here she said "oh this place gets smaller every time I visit".

I find it really insulting and upsetting. We've done it up nicely. We keep it tidy, clean and clutter free. DS has a nice home here with everything he needs. OK we have no garden but we have at least 3 or 4 lovely big parks within walking distance of the flat, a garden at my mum's and he has a lovely big garden at nursery which he goes to 3 days a week. I can't drive for medical reasons so being in London is incredibly convenient for me as I can simply walk or get public transport everywhere.

I wouldn't dream of visiting someone else's home and making such comments. Why do they do it?!

pearls I don’t believe your child said that. What child would refer to a ‘2 up 2 down’?
And, if it is true, your DC is horribly judgemental and has no manners. I wonder where they got that from?
OP I am in SE London and love it. You don’t have to answer but do you live somewhere beginning with a B?

OP How did the moped muggings go?

I didn't RTFT but are you me??
Mother asked when we were going to move to a bigger house and I said 'are you offering to pay for it?'
Rude cow.

The crucial point is that the OP can’t drive for medical reasons. You could buy a 4 bedroom house somewhere else and be trapped in it because there aren’t any buses. A friend of mine says where they live the bus company ends the bus back from the local city where everyone works at 4.50. So no one can use it. And then the bus service gets cut because surprise! No one is using it. Give me TfL, Oyster and parks any day.

I don’t believe your child said that
That's funny because (having disagreed with Pearl hours ago on this thread) I was just thinking that I don't believe that anyone would be livid with their child for coming home and saying that even though someone else's house was in a really nobby postcode, it was tiny and grubby. Nor do I think he sounds particularly impudent, or a git. It would sound arrogant if the house he was discussing was in a more modest postcode, but I think the whole point is that the house was in Chelsea so it's a juxtaposition of a glamorous postcode and a house that wasn't all that.
TBH, I think it's a bit harsh to come on and start calling kids impudent little gits on the basis of a private passing comment to his mum (yes, she's shared it on social media, but he presumably made the comment in the privacy of their home) but this has been a bad tempered thread, so I I'd like to think everyone's a bit out of character...

MrHoolieswaistcoat by the way, I know that it wasn't you who said either of the two things I've quoted. It seemed to work picking up your quote at the time, but in retrospect, it doesn't really! Sorry about that!

Steptoe No worries. These threads just seem so pointless to me. My Dsis lives in mid Wales in the middle of nowhere with her 3 DC and is blissfully happy.
I live in zone 2 in London with my DC and we are blissfully happy.
We visit each other regularly and both us and the kids massively enjoy it but all of us are glad to get home.
In a nutshell, different people like different places. Win Win.

I have observed for many years the way it seems acceptable for people to be rude about London and our homes, whereas it would be seen (rightly) as the height of bad manners for a Londoner to say about a town/village, 'I could never live there - it's so dull. What does anyone do. They spend all their time driving their kids round - how grim is that. And everyone looks the same.' We don't do that. Because manners. But it's apparently fine to not have manners when it comes to someone's life in London.

These threads just seem so pointless to me

This thread wasn't about living in London vs not. This thread was about whether it is acceptable for people to be rude about my home.

I have said several times - different strokes for different folks. But some others seem to be genuinely agog that people might lead a different life to them and yet also enjoy it!

Your kids is as awful as you are, pearl.

thesearepearls is your son Hyacinth Bucket? Unbelievable.

I have a 3-bed flat in London. Love it. Everywhere else we ever go to stay falls short in comparison to our flat in London.

Breadsticks I think you have your answer. Some people think it's fine to be rude about someone's home, city, way of life and the way they bring up their children, and will applaud their child for doing the same. I guess we just have to rise above it and carry on (or sell up and by a three bedroom semi with privet hedge to appease them)

My mum is exactly like this, but with her it’s snobbery and no other reason. She tells her friends now that we live in a wonderful apartment,and gets really miffed if we dare call our home “a flat”. She has also been known to tell people we have a wonderful view of the river, when the truth is if you squint hard enough, you may be able to see the tiny stream.

Just don’t let people get you down, it’s completely up to you to live where you want to.

We live in a modestly sized house, in an area where mansions are many, and being quite a sought after location, you can’t get much for your money. However we have also encountered rudeness, mainly from DH’s family. Commenting on how tiny are kids bedrooms are...oh they don’t have much space do they. Oh how do they manage with such little wardrobe space eye etc. It really rankles me sometimes.
And as for impudent kids, well dd has had a couple of rude play dates in the past. One who went into school the next day, and announced to everyone in the playground, that dd’s house was just soooooo tiny! And for a 7/8 yr old, begs the question as to where that kind of observation comes from

Although the poster currently being attacked used inverted commas around the two up two down etc comment, perhaps the poster was paraphrasing. Surely no one takes things so literally. 🙄

Oh wait...

And yes, I get the Chelsea house inference. 🙄

That does sound frustrating. However it does also sound just like well, people, families. People are annoying. They will always say things. I would work on ways to not care, if you guys are happy that's all that matters.

They probably don't realise how much it upsets you. Maybe you should point out all those things you've written in your post to remind them of the positives. Then pointedly change the subject.

Oh don't worry about it! I thinks it's what people are used to! The country I'm from is mostly buildings of flats unless you have fair amount of money. Guess what people not only have kids in them but also pets like dogs! Kids are outdoors most of the time and dogs walked 3 times a day. Over here its frowned upon for some weird reason ?! Tell them to stuff it !

Maybe you should point out all those things you've written in your post to remind them of the positives

The OP shouldn't have to defend her choices; the whole point of the thread is that people should STFU if they don't have anything nice to say.

You have just been unpleasant. The irony.

To clarify: the people the OP is complaining about are perhaps envious - jealous is not the right word - about her living in the capital city. That’s all. They are clearly not envious of the size of her flat or whatever.

You know what OP, if I were you I would take absolutely no notice. You, your DH and DS love your flat. It suits you all and your lifestyle. If other people don't like it, that's their problem. And as soon as anyone mentions anything I'd be inclined to say that you love it, and it suits you all. If you want to, temper it by saying something along the lines of 'maybe we will move in the future but we're absolutely not thinking about it now'. If they've got any sense they'll get the message.

To clarify: the people the OP is complaining about are perhaps envious - jealous is not the right word - about her living in the capital city. That’s all. They are clearly not envious of the size of her flat or whatever.

I don't think they are envious at all rose, I just think they are narrow minded.

We do get birds singing in London. They don't all drop dead at the Hertfordshire border.

This

I love living in London. If I ever had to move anywhere else it would be to another city. I love being in the countryside for holidays but I have no desire to live there. Having one of the world's greatest cities on your doorstep is amazing and the fact you can walk/bus/tube everywhere is both liberating and better for the environment than having to get in a car every time you need so much as a pint of milk.

I have friends who have moved out of London and are delighted to have done so and friends who would never consider leaving the city. There is no one size fits all, but it's beyond ridiculous to suggest that growing up in a flat is a bad thing or that nature is not available to anyone living closer to town than the suburbs. Have you ever been to Hampstead Heath? (etc)