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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think buying bikes for no good reason is spoiling.....

175 replies

Namedilema123 · 11/08/2018 12:03

3 year old twins have balance bikes they got for Christmas. Absolutely nothing wrong with them. Today DH took the twins to Halfords to get something for his bike. Has come home with 2 bikes for them. Im livid.

They are bikes with stabilizers. His reasons fir buying them are 1. They we're 'only' £40 each. 2. Balance bikes are crap and they need stabilizers. 3. 'you should have seen their faces, they loved them and were having so much fun'.

My reasons for being pissed are 1. It was only yesterday we were discussing how the twins might be getting a bit spoilt between grabdparents taking them on days out every single time they look after them and us and we all needed to change behaviour 2. Bikes (regardless of price) are big ticket items and should be for birthdays or Christmas...just walking into a bike shop and getting them because they liked them is spoiling them. 3. I would prefer them to learn on balance bikes and skip stabilizers alltogether but that's a much less important point. 4. He didnt even call to discuss with me first.

AIBU???

OP posts:
DowntownDallas · 11/08/2018 12:06

It is summer, a perfect time to learn to ride- December not so much

Buying a bike isn't spoiling them

Do you never buy anything without asking him? If so that sounds miserable

He did a lovely thing, you sound jealous

sirfredfredgeorge · 11/08/2018 12:07

The general principle no, bikes are forms of transport and need replacing when they need replacing, they are not big ticket gifts any more than clothes.

Spending 40 quid on some shit bikes with stabilisers is dumb though, but that's distinct from making them b'day/christmas things.

nokidshere · 11/08/2018 12:07

Spoiling is when a child stamps and screams for something and then gets it, or in the case of older children when they feel,they are entitled to it.

It doesn't sound like that happened here so no, I don't think it's spoiling them. But it does sound like you and dh need a chat.

YeTalkShiteHen · 11/08/2018 12:07

YANBU to be irritated he didn’t discuss a big expenditure with you first, but YABU about everything else.

Ozgirl75 · 11/08/2018 12:11

Tricky - my son’s birthday is December and he grew loads and grew out of his bike in April (that he’d had for 18 months). It went against everything I believe to buy a “big” present just randomly in the middle of the year, BUT he rides all the time, loves cycling and just wouldn’t have been able to on his old bike with his knees up round his ears.

I also agree that you don’t need stabilisers after a balance bike - they transition so easily.

ferrier · 11/08/2018 12:12

3 year olds don't need to have bikes replaced. Does seem a touch unnecessary - couldn't a set of stabilisers have been added to the 'balance' bike? I'd agree that they are more summer items than winter though. And yes, I'd be annoyed within your general backstory of them being indulged somewhat.

Tomatoesrock · 11/08/2018 12:12

If they are ready for the next stage then it is the perfect time to buy them. Cycling is a life skill and physical exercise, I think he had a good reason to buy them. I do not think it will spoil them. Smile

He should have discussed the purchase but that is a different issue. The balance bikes will sell very quick this time of year on a selling site.

Cleanermaidcook · 11/08/2018 12:13

Agree with nokidshere
Spoiling is about entitlement and greed I wouldn't see this as spoiling them but if you're unhappy with Dh spending money without consulting you then you need to have a conversation about this.

SandyY2K · 11/08/2018 12:13

YABU
You don't need it to be a birthday or Christmas for a bike.

My issue would be have they outgrown the balance bikes and do you have space for them.

SpoonBlender · 11/08/2018 12:14

I'm ambivalent about the purchasing - too many variables there, but if it's time for the kids to move up to pedals then it's time. Flog the balance bikes on ebay, get that money back.

Get the stabilisers off ASAP though, they're the worst way to learn to ride and will just tip the kids over as they try to corner since they've been learning on balance bikes.

MatildaTheCat · 11/08/2018 12:16

If you go down the route of buying big items when they are needed then perhaps you can compromise by spending less on birthdays and Christmas? Children of their age are only vaguely aware of cost so they won’t nece expect expensive items, just plenty to unwrap.

I agree that spoiling them isn’t a good idea but can see the point of a bike now rather than during the winter, for example.

Bluelady · 11/08/2018 12:17

They don't sound particularly spoilt. Grandparents like taking their grandchildren out, why would you want to deprive them of that pleasure? My mum used to say "not spoilt, loved". Sounds like those kids are loved.

Original poster
Namedilema123 · 11/08/2018 12:17

The thing is there is nothing wrong with the bikes they have, I would definitely be a miserable cow if they had outgrown them or they were broken... these new ones were just bought because "of the looks on their little faces". Grandparents buy new toys every time they go there (sometimes charity shops, but getting new toys every week just seems excessive to me). I just feel, although at 3 they can't fully appreciate anything yet, we are setting up an environment for them where there is no value to anything.

Maybe i am just being miserable...definitely not jealous though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namedilema123 · 11/08/2018 12:20

Spoonblender, they havent mastered the balance bikes at all. Thats also why im a bit annoyed.

OP posts:
glintandglide · 11/08/2018 12:22

There his children too, he really shouldn’t need to consult you before buying them something. I have to say I don’t think bikes are spoiling particularly- they should be a necessity

Neshoma · 11/08/2018 12:25

We used to be buy the odd thing through out the year as DD's birthday was bang on Christmas.

She got overwhelmed by too many presents so we would spread it out over the year.

Strawberrymelon · 11/08/2018 12:26

Maybe your DH thinks you kids will prefer stabilisers? He probably should have discussed it with you first.

I don't think it will make your children spoiled.

Tiredmum100 · 11/08/2018 12:31

My son was starting to out grow his current bike, but I was thinking it would be okay for one last summer, then he could have a new one at Christmas time for his birthday (couple of days after Christmas). However back in June at a bbq at our house my dh gave away my youngest sons bike to a family friend, so he could have his brothers bike and would buy the eldest a bike now instead. I was a bit annoyed. Not at giving the bike to a family friend just that I wouldn't have any ideas for his birthday.However he has had a new bike and as another poster said, it makes sense now whilst the weather is nice rather than winter time. However I do agree he should have discussed it with you first.

LeftRightCentre · 11/08/2018 12:31

I think balance bikes are a waste of money, too. It's a good price for the bikes and your kids don't sound spoiled.

lljkk · 11/08/2018 12:31

Bikes in our house are never for Birthdays or Xmas. That's completely wrong, imho. Bikes are useful & well-used things, not mere toys or leisure items.

Buying stuff you simply don't need or won't much use or haven't thought carefully about when pricey, I agree with those arguments.

Ozgirl75 · 11/08/2018 12:32

At 3 they need probably a little more time on the balance bikes. My (now nearly 6 yo) boy had a balance bike at 2, really got it by 31/2 and was on a normal bike with no stabilisers a couple of weeks later.

My first son had a bike with stabilisers at 4 and it took him way more effort to get riding a normal bike. Really 6 months of falling off before he got it whereas my balance bike trained one basically got on the bike and pedalled and nailed it.

I was a total balance bike sceptic, considering them a gimmicky waste of money and I totally ate my words.

Bluewidow · 11/08/2018 12:35

You need to take the stabilisers off straight away otherwise all that they learn on the balance bike is
Lost. They can start using the new bike like a balance bike and before long they will be riding. My boy rode without stabilisers before he was three.

My boy races so we are always buying bikes and accessories etc. rather bikes that computer games.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/08/2018 12:36

@Namedilema123 - my dh has a very simple equation that explains how many bikes a family needs - Correct Number of Bikes = N+1.

You would think that N, in this equation, would refer to the number of people in the family - but you would be wrong. According to dh, N=Current number of bikes, so the correct number of bikes for any family is ONE MORE.

We have three dses who all rode bikes during their teenage years - for fun and on their paper rounds, and dh enjoys riding too. You would think that we'd have 4 bikes in the shed - but, at one point, we had 9.5 bikes - 9 whole, rideable bikes, and enough bikes to add up to another half a bike.

He has just come in and read this post over my shoulder. Currently No1 son is living in Colchester, where he works, and has his bike there. No2 son has been living at home whilst doing his teacher training, so his bike is living here. I think ds3 has his at university - but in any case, we still have 7.5 bikes in the sheds.

I don't ride.

Chalady · 11/08/2018 12:38

My DD rode without stabilisers within 10 minutes, previous to that she had a balance bike.

YABU

£40 worth of sweets, plastic toys & comics - annoying.

£40 worth of outdoor transport - fine.

lljkk · 11/08/2018 12:39

We had 18 bikes at one point (6 ppl). I think we're down to 14 now, and heading for 12 or 13 (5 ppl).

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