To think buying bikes for no good reason is spoiling.....

[Namedilema123]

3 year old twins have balance bikes they got for Christmas. Absolutely nothing wrong with them. Today DH took the twins to Halfords to get something for his bike. Has come home with 2 bikes for them. Im livid.

They are bikes with stabilizers. His reasons fir buying them are 1. They we're 'only' £40 each. 2. Balance bikes are crap and they need stabilizers. 3. 'you should have seen their faces, they loved them and were having so much fun'.

My reasons for being pissed are 1. It was only yesterday we were discussing how the twins might be getting a bit spoilt between grabdparents taking them on days out every single time they look after them and us and we all needed to change behaviour 2. Bikes (regardless of price) are big ticket items and should be for birthdays or Christmas...just walking into a bike shop and getting them because they liked them is spoiling them. 3. I would prefer them to learn on balance bikes and skip stabilizers alltogether but that's a much less important point. 4. He didnt even call to discuss with me first.

AIBU???

[kaytee87]

Honestly? I'd be grateful their grandparents are taking them on lovely days out that you can't manage atm with your newborn. What's the alternative? Because you can't do it they don't get to go anywhere?
I don't see how buying them bikes is spoiling them.
I don't think buying children things spoils them anyway it's more about how they treat people and their things not how many things they have.

[Ihavenoideaatall]

That kind of £40 brand new bike with stabilisers is just a toy, it's like a trike or a ride on with pedals. As such as long as they still use the balance bikes they can get the hang of pedals on the new toys, and balance and steering on the balance bikes

Agree with the above totally - came on to say the same thing. Also a pp mentioned fixed wheel - I found that actually helped learn the pedalling action.

Use the time from now until they learn the ride without stabilisers to research good, lightweight children's bikes.

Also please may I join in the "my child cycled out of the uterus" bragging? One of mine learned to ride age ONE

[SoyDora]

I couldn’t get worked up about this, as long as it wasn’t money earmarked for something else or has put you into financial hardship.
We bought DD1 aged 4 a new bike ‘just because’... she had outgrown her bike and her birthday isn’t until November. She was very very grateful for it, as she is for anything she gets.
3 year olds don’t know they’re ‘big ticket’ items. As long as they didn’t kick and scream for them and your DH gave in, then I can’t see an issue.
I hope they enjoy their bikes.

[Amanduh]

Meh, before about the last 3/4 years nobody I know or heard of, kids or adults ourselves, had a balance bike, just a bike with stabilisers and then rode without them. A lot of the kids I know also hate balance bikes and want pedals.
Yabu its £40 and a bike!

[Hagfish]

I would take them back and put the money towards decent bikes. Take a look at Wiggins, Frog and Islabikes. The latter 2 possibly second hand as they are £££.

Personally I think 3 is a good age for balance bikes and then next summer straight onto decent light bikes without stabilisers.

[saoirse31]

Getting toys, days out etc don't spoil children. Peoples attitudes spoil children. So yabvu.

Also, livid seems very ott.

I think you should enjoy your children and stop worrying that relatives who love them and treat them well are somehow damaging them.

[PositiveVibez]

I can't get over how pissed off you are that their grandparents take them for days out to brilliant places.

[Popfan]

I think your dh sounds sweet! I do think Halfords biked are too heavy for children generally. However, all this balance bike stuff!! I had stabilizers - I can ride a bike fine. My 10 year old had stabilizers - he too can ride a bike fine, one of his favourite activities. Who cares how old they are when they can ride a bike? Can't remember how old mine was - 4? 5? It just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things as long as they have fun riding the bike. Really don't know why people get so worked up about the whole balance bike / stabilizers thing!!

[jacks11]

I actually prefer to get them things like bikes and so on when they need them throughout the year and do smaller christmases and birthday presents. So I don't keep "big ticket" items for birthday and christmas, but if that's what you've agreed then I can sort of see your issue with it.

I'm not sure about £40 bikes though- are they any good?

[cadburyegg]

Tbh I would love if my in laws took my 3 yo out every week!

But YANBU to be annoyed about the bikes. I would be annoyed if my 3.5 yo was given a bike with stabilisers because he has mastered his balance bike and a bike with stabilisers is a step backwards.

If they haven’t mastered the balance bikes it’s not too late, they will need to learn balance at some point anyway in order to ride a bike. But they need lots of practise

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

My eldest three kids all learned on a tiny little Raleigh jungle. Bought 20 years ago when Raleighs were decent bikes. No such thing as balance bikes then; DH took the stabilisers and the pedals off, the kids learned to push around on it and when the pedals were put on basically just rode away with scarcely a wobble.

Youngest was more indulged (big gap and we had given the Raleigh away) got a little Specialised hotrock with a back pedal brake. Rode it to nursery and everywhere. DH had to replace the tyres they were so worn out. We sold it on for a decent price though.

[Paddingtonthebear]

Well yes if you take stabilisers and pedals off and they push around on it then it’s the same concept as a balance bike

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

Exactly, so why do people buy balance bikes when it's a sheer waste of money?

[CSIblonde]

Bikes aren't a 'big' Xmas or birthday only present unless it's a top of range mountain bike. You could prob get cheaper than £40 each if you are budget conscious. If they are have too many unused toys charity shop or women's refuge will bite your hand off.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

Its not the same as a balance bike though because it still has a chain and it's therefore harder to push (lots of children's bikes don't freewheel), which means it's harder to go fast and therefore harder to maintain balance, and you've still got to be aware of the pedal arms turning even if you've taken the pedals off. And, from a H&S perspective there's a chance they can get caught in DCs trouser legs. Less chance with actual pedals as mainly they will have their feet on them, not pushing along next to them.

[Labradoodliedoodoo]

Quickest way to learn to cycle is with a balance bike as a toddler, then straight into a normal bike without stabilisers.

[Labradoodliedoodoo]

Mine lived on their balance bikes. Best toy ever

[Stirner]

@Namedilema123 - you're very unpleasant quite Frankly

[WaxOnFeckOff]

Balance bikes weren't really a thing when my DC were little, they were used to riding a two wheel scooter though and also pedaling a digger/dumper truck thing. The bike without stablisers was mastered in a few minutes after that. It's all balance bikes in my street now though, don't think there has been a DC in the street that hasn't been riding a proper bike by 3.

[emmyrose2000]

Spoiling is when a child stamps and screams for something and then gets it, or in the case of older children when they feel,they are entitled to it

Exactly. Spoilt is about attitude and actions, not the amount of stuff a person has. Unless your kids were throwing tantrums and screamingly demanding the bikes, they weren't /aren't being spoilt. Ditto the grandparent outings.

What a miserable world it would be if kids couldn't get a nice unexpected treat once in a while. Would you be feeling the same way if he'd bought them a paddling pool to use now in the hot weather instead?

[Mistigri]

If they have been using balance bikes I would take the stabilisers off. They will probably be able to ride without.

It's not at all uncommon for kids who have learnt to ride on a balance bike to ride a normal bike without stabilisers at 3.

[Ethylred]

My mother used to be obsessed with the idea that my brothers and I were spoilt, or being spoilt, or about to be spoilt. Honestly we weren't and her obsession did nobody any good. OP, I'm sure your children are too. And their father sounds a lovely man.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yabvvu, bikes are a form of transport and are a good skill to have. Maybe they need to progress from their balance kids and learn to peddle. I haven't when people say negative things about cheap bikes, it is so dumb. What if that's all you can afford. Not anyone can afford £200 plus for a kids bike they will outgrown in a few years. I am lucky as I know as decent secondhand bike seller who sells bikes such as:Trek,Giant, Isla,Frog etc. But not everyone does.

[toomuchtooold]

I don't see buying a bike as spoiling because I don't see bikes as presents. I feel the same about swimming lessons. As a parent, if you have the means, part of your job is to make sure your kids learn to swim and ride a bike so IMO making sure that they have a bike that fits them is more like buying them shoes.

The other question is the balance bikes vs stabilisers thing. I know balance bikes have become really popular in the UK in the last few years and I don't know if it makes learning any faster but here in Germany they're very popular, I would say it's about 2/3 balance bikes to 1/3 trikes/stabilisers for the little ones but in my kids' friendship group it didn't seem to have much influence on who learned to cycle first. We used bikes with stabilisers, and DT2 was riding a bike within about two hours of practice. DT1 got really frustrated with it all and would not look at her bike for like 9 months but once I managed to convince her to just keeps trying, she also managed it with about 2-3 hours practice all in. Both my kids had problems with getting the second foot onto the pedal, that bit where you're a bit wobbly and slow, and once they got that they could basically cycle straight away. I don't know if a balance bike would have helped with that. But if you'd already decided you're going balance bikes that is frustrating, I know - your kids will enjoy being able to make progress on the bikes with stabilisers and it might be harder to get them to use the balance bikes again.

But wow, 40 quid for a bike! I really miss being in the UK. We had to get bikes imported from France (we're in Germany) because all the German little kid bikes have backpedal brakes. It was worth it though as they switch to v brakes as soon as you get to a 20 inch wheel - we bought DD1 her first 20 inch recently and the guy tested her to see if she knew to use the handbreaks and not try to backpedal brake. He was dead impressed!

[headinhands]

Op do you only ever by yourself things on birthday of Christmas?

You spoil kids by letting them think they are more important than other people, not with stuff. You can et spoilt poor kids and unspoilt kids who have every luxury imaginable.