To think buying bikes for no good reason is spoiling.....

[Namedilema123]

3 year old twins have balance bikes they got for Christmas. Absolutely nothing wrong with them. Today DH took the twins to Halfords to get something for his bike. Has come home with 2 bikes for them. Im livid.

They are bikes with stabilizers. His reasons fir buying them are 1. They we're 'only' £40 each. 2. Balance bikes are crap and they need stabilizers. 3. 'you should have seen their faces, they loved them and were having so much fun'.

My reasons for being pissed are 1. It was only yesterday we were discussing how the twins might be getting a bit spoilt between grabdparents taking them on days out every single time they look after them and us and we all needed to change behaviour 2. Bikes (regardless of price) are big ticket items and should be for birthdays or Christmas...just walking into a bike shop and getting them because they liked them is spoiling them. 3. I would prefer them to learn on balance bikes and skip stabilizers alltogether but that's a much less important point. 4. He didnt even call to discuss with me first.

AIBU???

I'd be livid too. Bikes from Halfords with stabilisers are crap and heavy and nowhere near as good as a balance bike for teaching first riding skills.

@Namedilema123 - I told dh about this thread, and about my reply on it, and he reminded me of the time he took the boys with him, to Halfords, to pick up some bit for the car, and came back reed utterly thrilled boys, and a mini fussball table!

Unfortunately there was literally nowhere for it to go in the house - nowhere that was big enough for the table, plus space round the outside for the players, and nowhere where it wouldn’t completely block up access to the room, so I was forced into being the bad guy, and telling him he had to take it back.

Oh and re. stabilisers - we are definitely one of the ‘bikey’ families mentioned by a previous poster, but all three boys used stabilisers at first, and I don’t think it made it harder for them to learn to ride without. All three ended up as very competant and confident cyclists - so I think you do what works for you and your kids.

I’m with you on this, on every angle.

Buying them because of their ‘little faces’ is daft. He’s bought bikes they didn’t need and the £40 Halfords one’s are heavy and not good bikes. It’s £80 wasted really, that could have gone towards next stage up bikes when they needed them.

Irrespective of whether they needed bikes now or not (and they didn’t), it was also very mean of him to buy them without you, so YOU didn’t get to be part of the fun, but I expect that’s him being a prat, knowing you’d have said, ‘No, they don’t need them yet’.

They have balance bikes which are great and it would have been FAR better to master those then go straight onto bikes without stabilisers. Why doesn’t he like the balance bikes?

I do agree that other people taking them out to farms/zoos/big ticket places frequently does make them expect that level of activity/fun all the time, it’s only natural. I would discuss this with the GP’s and ask if they could go to the park/feed the ducks/wash the car etc and save the ‘bigger days’ less frequently. Tell them the boys love it and you appreciate it, but it’s my making them very demanding of constant entertainment at that level. I found the same, but it’s was ME taking the older ones because it was easier to entertain them and look after the baby, but I had to stop because it was sucking the joy out of the more basic activities they’d previously loved (park, woods, garden, baking etc).

...and yes, the weekly toys needs to stop. Kids get WAY too much stuff, they don’t appreciate it, they don’t get time to play with it all and the worst bit is, birthdays, Christmas, anticipation, excitement....ALL get lost when they regularly get stuff. Try that’s angle to the GP’s.

As for the bikes, I’d take them back personally. £40 Halfords bikes are too heavy, tell DH that AND that you can both take them to buy something better quality next spring when they’re READY to go without stabilisers.

If he refuses, there’s not a lot you can do about it I suppose, but the whole thing is quite telling about your relationship and I wouldn’t be happy about what it was saying. It’s not about £80 on two bikes. It’s about a lot more than that.

Does seem a touch unnecessary - couldn't a set of stabilisers have been added to the 'balance' bike?

Think that through and try again!

AnnaMagnani, that might be something to do with your balance.

Where I lived as a child, we got bikes, some children got little else, so we played out on our bikes, all day, all year round. That was the 70's.

I did the same with my children.

I'd never heard of balance bikes until my DD got my GD one. She hated it. She's now got a bike from Halfords, similar deal by the sound of it and now she rides with stabilizers, which are coming off by the end of the year, she's three.

Balance Bikes aren't a MC thing, because they sell them in Aldi, but tbh, in the lower WC area i live, no-one bothers with them and the kids all ride bikes. The lads carry on riding them as teens.

Let gps keep some of the toys at their house for when dcs visit. Sometimes it's nice to impuls buy, IF you can afford it. Not everything has to be measured.
You sound like you may be a bit fed up generally, it's hard having 3 little ones.

That kind of £40 brand new bike with stabilisers is just a toy, it's like a trike or a ride on with pedals. As such as long as they still use the balance bikes they can get the hang of pedals on the new toys, and balance and steering on the balance bikes. The one of my kids who could ride a bike (his sister's pedal bike without stabilisers) at 2.5 had been devoted to his tiny puky balance bike to the degree that he wanted to take it to bed with him and could ride it and keep up with his sister on her bike for a year. He also loved the pedal tractor ride on toy we had from about the time he turned 2. Using both of them meant that one day when his sister dumped her bike on the drive he nonchalantly picked it up and rode off with barely a wobble. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor as we'd had to run along behind his big sister, and she'd been a year older.

I'd be annoyed though yes, as it's not a casual present and it justified a quick phone call at least, especially as he knew that you weren't keen on stabilisers. Only mildly annoyed if £80 isn't budget impacting for you.

My DH once spent £500 on an electric guitar. He couldn't play the guitar. Then I was annoyed. He sold his playstation to recoup some cash and we agreed to discuss all purchases over £100, which we stuck to. He did teach himself to play the guitar at least...

Sorry, just realised they only had bikes at Xmas, that is silly.
You still sound tired, be nice to yourself. Oh should spend 40 on something nice for you IF he can afford it!

£40 Halfords bikes which come with stabilisers fitted are designed to be ridden with stabilisers. They are very heavy and quite likely have those almost square tires. They are toys. They are almost unrideable without stabilisers and will be very discouraging to try. Don't take the stabilisers off, treat them as a ride on toy or trike.

Buy decent lighter bikes which were sold as bikes not with stabilisers factory fitted when you want to encourage them to try riding an actual bike without stabilisers. No harm in buying second hand. Very slightly too small is confidence building as they will want to be able to put their feet down. Then buy them beautiful shinny proper bikes in the write size once they're riding confidently, for their 4th birthday.

*right not write

Better to have them in summer whilst they have weather to get out and about. Cycling is a skill they will always have. Draw a line, set the rules, and get everyone on board.

My dsil regards bikes as bit like shoes! He sees them as essentials to be replaced when outgrown with best that can be afforded. Both dgs had balance bikes at two then progressed to Isla bikes. At 5 dgs2 enjoyed a 17 mile bike ride with a lunch break half way. The whole family go off on regular weekend rides. My dgc have never asked for new bikes but just get them.
Honestly your twins aren’t spoiled.

It’s outdoor exercise. It’s not spoiling. A bike is a fab and perfect at summer time for lots of riding.

And balance bikes are shit.

glut balance bikes are only shit if you buy a shit balance bike. Which is true of many things. The wooden ones are just decorative and mostly useless. Heavy ones are useless.

We've had puky balance bikes for all our kids. We're abroad and pretty much every 2 year old has one, it's the usual 2nd birthday present though younger siblings often adopt an older siblings outgrown one younger if they're tall enough.

Pretty much every 3 year old here can ride an ordinary bike without stabilisers, and stabilisers are a rare sight, hardly anyone uses them.

Those heavy, solid tyred bikes sold with factory fitted stabilisers are shit as anything other than a ride on toy.

Just seen the post about outings with grandparents. It's easy to diffferntiate between stuff they do with grandparents and stuff they do with parents. Presumably, if their grandparents didn't take them for days put they'd never get them. Some of my son's happiest memories are of days at the seaside, the zoo and other places with my parents, I'd never have wanted to deprive him.- or them - of those good times.

I've taught lots of 3 year olds to ride two wheelers without stabilisers.
3 year olds are too old for balance bikes. If they haven't mastered them by now they never will. (You probably had the seats too low. )
Presumably the DC don't know how to pedal. That won't take them long to learn. As soon as they can pedal take the stabilisers off the new bikes.
Show DC how to stop by stopping pedalling and squeezing brakes gently until they slow down enough to put their feet on the ground.
Tell DC to hold handlebar tightly and make sure it doesn't wobble.
Look straight ahead to where they want to go. Head up.
One foot on a pedal, scoot with the other foot until they feel like putting the other foot on the pedal then get used to shouting "pedal pedal pedal". This may take about 30 minutes.
Learning to cycle is best done somewhere where there's a hard path but grass to the side so they can steer onto the grass if they need to fall off.
Another way of stopping😄
Don't give them with a push start.
Don't run along behind them holding the seat.
Either walk ahead or behind barking orders like, "Look where you're going" and "Pedal pedal pedal".

Should have added they'll never learn if the new bikes are fixed wheel.

There is a calculation to see if you have enough bikes
N+1=
Op you need to do the calculations and then report back

YANBU I hate gratuitous buying of tat.
Assuming the balance bikes were carefully thought out presents and good quality, they may easily last until age 4.

I haven't read the thread, but just want to say that I made the mistake of buying DD a bike with stabilisers. Balance bikes were a strange concept to me, and it was only afterwards I found out what the point of them was.

Tell him he's made a mistake, at literally no stage of a child's life should they have a bicycle with stabilisers. They are positively counter-productive when it comes to leaning to ride a bike.

Tbh the conclusion of this thread is your dc need bikes...

What is a balance bike?

Loving the "my child pedalled their way out of my uterus" bragging on here. My kid is dyspraxic - we're fucked on that one.

Mine get bikes, if they need replacing (the way the eldest's growing it's bloody likely again soon) for their birthdays which are early Spring. Bikes for Christmas have always struck me as a really bloody naff idea because it's usually pissing it down with rain so you don't get the same chances to use them as you would in the nicer weather.

See, I'm very weird & should preface all my MN posts by saying that.

We are a huge cycling family. I don't rate balance bikes. Meh. At best I find them a tolerable set of fun risks.

Cheap bikes (like Halfords', or actually car boot specials which is what we got) with stabs are the biz, though, they are great as toys which is all any bike can be for an under 5. It is ridiculous (imho) to brag about when one's child rides without stabs or think that stabs are some kind of evil to be avoided at all costs. All my kids pedalled without stabs b4 5yo (one before 4yo), I'm horrified at thought of them doing it any younger. As grandparent I really would NOT want to chase 2x3-4yo kids around on balance bikes, or (god forbid) full pedalling.

I fully understand OP feeling irked at an impulse purchase.