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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was an overreaction by teacher

304 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/08/2018 08:39

One of my Friend's is a teacher and was supposed to be away for a few days. I was surprised to bump into her yesterday and she rolled her eyes and said two kids from her class had turned up at the same hotel so she insisted to her husband that they leave.

She said she wouldn't be able to relax, use the hotel swimming pool and changing room, have a drink etc without looking over her shoulder, and neither did she want parents coming over to talk about their kid's progress while she was on holidays.

Would most teachers feel like this or was that an over reaction?

OP posts:
CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 09/08/2018 10:48

God, that would be bloody awful. You wouldn’t see me for dust.

ChaffyMcChaff · 09/08/2018 10:52

@LML83 Bumping into a friend/colleague or acquaintance on holiday isn't remotely comparable to bumping into children (and families) that you teach. The dynamics of those relationships are completely different. As teachers we have to uphold the Teachers Professional Standards (which are exceptionally strict!). We wouldn't be able to relax in the bar with a glass of wine, for example, for fear that the child/family member might snap a photo of that and plaster it over social media...we could be in trouble if that happened! A teacher was recently sacked for 'appearing intoxicated' when a photo of her on Facebook enjoying a night out was brought to the Governors attention! Her career was ruined because of one photo of her laughing whilst holding a bottle of beer! It was a very innocent photo of a young woman out with her friends!!

Dress code is pretty strict too...so no wearing of skimpy sun wear around pupils...again, on holiday, how awful would it be to bump into a pupil whilst relaxing in your thong with all your lumps and bumps on show 😱🙈. I'd be mortified! We have to keep our 'A Game' and professional stance up EVERY SECOND around the pupils and families that we teach. That's not going to happen if you're swigging a cocktail in your bikini whilst discussing Love Island with your OH is it?

So yes...I'd have left too...without a second thought!

cricketballs3 · 09/08/2018 10:53

I'm used to seeing students in the supermarket, when shopping in town even out for a meal (although I steer clear of pubs/restaurants that I know a lot of them use or work at) but the thought of seeing anyone I teach when on holiday would be a nightmare

scaryteacher · 09/08/2018 10:57

I would leave as well; it's bad enough a formal complaint being made because you were sarcastically flippant with a Year 9 who was being a PITA in Tesco after school one night, when I was buying dinner before going to get my ds from after school club; let alone being on holiday and being complained about because a parent thinks you are not Beijing pleasant enough.

I didn't live in the town in which I taught, but even that was no escape, as a student once told me that he knew where I lived. When asking how, he said his auntie lived down the road from me and he was often there and watching my movements.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 09/08/2018 11:00

It would depend on lots of things really (who it was, where it was, what type of holiday it was and who I’d be letting down if I insisted on leaving etc). I’d be more likely to TRY to find a work around rather than go home, but I’d be very pissed off about the situation. Mind you, if I was a teacher I’d probably book a villa in the middle of fucking nowhere and have an oil tank deliver the alcohol 😂

Lizzie48 · 09/08/2018 11:02

My DH's parents used to be teachers and he says that his dad used to insist on going to places like the Outer Hebrides so they could avoid being anywhere near any children, let alone his actual pupils. So yes, I definitely don't think your friend was overreacting.

Sunnybeachbabe · 09/08/2018 11:02

Depends on the child/parent I think. I used to run into one family all the time but it was never an issue, child was delighted to see me and gave me a hug then quick hellos all round and went our separate ways.
Other parents though, no boundaries, want to talk shop, expect me to interact with their children for long periods of time etc then yes I'd avoid and possibly leave.

spanieleyes · 09/08/2018 11:06

I once had a parent comment on the contents of my shopping trolley ( cream cakes and crisps) with "I thought you teachers went on about healthy eating". Luckily they didn't see the alcohol hidden under the fruit and veg!

PorkFlute · 09/08/2018 11:06

Seems reasonable tbh. They would be having to watch their words. Potentially getting changed in front of pupils would have been an issue. Parents would want to discuss school. Basically they’d have to be behaving like the face of the school and be unable to relax.
I took my kids for tea in a restaurant where there were a load of teachers from their school having some kind of get together and we were seated next on the table next to them. After saying a quick ‘hi’ I asked to be moved to the outside area. I didn’t want them to not be able to enjoy a little drink and chat freely for fear of a parent/pupil overhearing, sh

PorkFlute · 09/08/2018 11:07

shock horror, a swear word for eg. Also my dd was very young and loved her teacher so would have spent the entire meal waving.

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 09/08/2018 11:12

@PorkFlute and would you have thought he Teacher would have wanted to be waved st throughout HER entire meal? Really? I'd have said, "Say hello and wave and then let's let Mrs ...... enjoy her dinner in peace." I'm really hoping that you did, rather than inflict your offspring's enthusiasm on somebody who, presumably wanted to relax on a well deserved holiday.

PorkFlute · 09/08/2018 11:13

No I didn’t think the teacher would have wanted to spend her meal waving. Which is why I took us all to sit in the beer garden Confused

HelpmeobiMN · 09/08/2018 11:14

This happened to me at a Hen where one of the attendees saw a pupil of hers at the pool. She didn’t want to make a fuss but she was obviously incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy even though she tried not to let it show. I know that my MIL would also be really uncomfortable about it.

PorkFlute · 09/08/2018 11:15

And we weren’t on holiday!

Aragog · 09/08/2018 11:17

I probably wouldn't leave (couldn't do that to dh and dd) but I'd be on edge and not able to properly relax the whole time, taking the shine of the holiday entirely. I'd be conscious about drinking alcohol, wearing swimsuits, etc. And I'd be trying to actively avoid said parents and child the whole time. It wouldn't make for a great holiday.

A teacher I know was spotted on holiday by a family. She was sunbathing topless on a beach resort, like many others around her. A pupil spotted her and chatted to her. She hastily covered herself. But then both parents came over and had a very long chat too. Despite seeing her obvious discomfort they just kept taking. Spoilt much if her holiday. Fortunately this was before the era of constant social media!

If your a parent and see your child's teacher whilst in holiday - please keep your child away. Explain that it's not school time, and that they should not be going up to the teacher at all. If they are teens strongly remind them that mentioning the teacher, describing it or photographing them on SM is not acceptable and would result in them being off SM entirely. And do the same as a parent. Leave well alone.

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/08/2018 11:17

I’m not a teacher but I don’t think it’s an overreaction at all.

I’m actually surprised that people think it was!

YeTalkShiteHen · 09/08/2018 11:18

If your a parent and see your child's teacher whilst in holiday - please keep your child away. Explain that it's not school time, and that they should not be going up to the teacher at all. If they are teens strongly remind them that mentioning the teacher, describing it or photographing them on SM is not acceptable and would result in them being off SM entirely. And do the same as a parent. Leave well alone

I completely agree with this, especially the social media part!

RossPoldarksFloozie · 09/08/2018 11:19

I'd have left too.

We were in an airport lounge this year when a child I taught appeared at our table, I was polite, exchanged a few words and said it was time they went back to their parents. Three times we moved around the lounge and theee times they came to our table. I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine in peace! We got to the gate and my heart sank to see they were on the same flight. We were boarded first as we were in a different cabin, as we passed the family the mother very loudly said to the child "See Mrs X is on the same plane in the posh seats, if YOU don't behave I'll send you to sit with her." I couldn't get on that plane fast enough. We always book adult only resorts and thankfully never come across children I teach. I wouldn't want to be instagrammed or snap chatted in my bikini with a cocktail in my hand.

JuJu2017 · 09/08/2018 11:19

From talking to my friends this is totally true. We went out with a friend of ours who is a secondary school teacher on NYE and bumped into a couple of his students in a club. How they got in I don’t know because he said they were all year 9, but it made him so uncomfortable that we left and went elsewhere. They were trying to follow him around then and actively shouting out at him.

TrickyKid · 09/08/2018 11:20

I'd feel the same as a parent but I wouldn't leave. What made her think they'd be asking about their child's progress, I'm sure they'd rather just keep out of her way.

Rockhopper81 · 09/08/2018 11:24

I absolutely get it.

I’m fat (there’s no use using a euphemism for it) and I felt guilty buying a bottle of full fat Coke and a bar of chocolate in a shop (it had been an exceptionally bad day), as the lady serving was the mother of a child I taught 5 years ago.

No way would I want any children/parents from school seeing me in a swimsuit - to be frank, nobody needs to see that, but my nearest and dearest are emotionally obliged to. Random people on holiday - I’m never going to see them again, that’s the whole point. I just know it would be all around the playground that they’d seen Miss Rock’s lumps and bumps in a swimsuit.

Mistressiggi · 09/08/2018 11:25

I couldn't have afforded to leave, but it would spoil my holiday. I have ended up in a pool before with a pupil, but this was before mobiles. I meet pupils and ex pupils regularly and this is fine, but as soon as I hear the "miss" I switch into professional mode. Last thing I want to do on holiday!

RiceandBeans · 09/08/2018 11:25

I actually had a parent lodge a formal complaint on the first day of term because they felt a teacher “had been unkind, dismissive and rude”’to their child when they had ended up at the same holiday destination

Who'd be a teacher, eh? Awful.

If I see my (university) students outside of campus in non-educational contexts, I tend to nod hello and pass the time of day, or other brief small talk, and then politely ignore. I hope they feel the same relief as I do at not forcing social interaction ...

Aragog · 09/08/2018 11:30

I find it bad enough that some children I teach use the gym I go to. I always change in one of the few cubicles they have as a result and I avoid using the showers there. They use the gym for swimming lessons so I avoid that part of the gym.

SnugglySnerd · 09/08/2018 11:57

I even drive several miles to take my own dcs swimming because our nearest pool is also the one nearest to the school I work in and I don't want to be on social media in my swimming costume.

To be fair though the parent I ran into whilst sinking cocktails at my hen do offered to by me a drink and told me to enjoy my night!