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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was an overreaction by teacher

304 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/08/2018 08:39

One of my Friend's is a teacher and was supposed to be away for a few days. I was surprised to bump into her yesterday and she rolled her eyes and said two kids from her class had turned up at the same hotel so she insisted to her husband that they leave.

She said she wouldn't be able to relax, use the hotel swimming pool and changing room, have a drink etc without looking over her shoulder, and neither did she want parents coming over to talk about their kid's progress while she was on holidays.

Would most teachers feel like this or was that an over reaction?

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 09/08/2018 08:57

Agreed- not an overreaction. How would she be able to relax? Would have been pointless to stay.

JennyBlueWren · 09/08/2018 08:57

It would not be ideal but if I left would depend on the child, parents and how they behaved around me on holiday. If there was polite or shy acknowledgement then brief nod or hello in passing fine but if child acted up or followed me around or parents tried to talk about school or be over friendly then that would bother me.

I have bumped into pupils and there has just been the polite hello how's your holiday, see you in August and bye.

OftenHangry · 09/08/2018 08:57

Not an overreaction.

With how some parents are today she would probably have a complaint lodged against her for inappropriate swim suit/being happily tipsy/or any other normal holiday activity infront of her students🙄 Because as a teacher "She is on a role where she should be an example of perfect behaviour to our kids even when she is off"
Teachers do get pulled on a behaviour outside of school.

Poor woman. Ruined holidays

pieceofpurplesky · 09/08/2018 08:57

Snapchatted and instagrammed in my swimming costume for all the kids to see? No thanks!

Pengggwn · 09/08/2018 08:57

I get the teacher's feelings, but... We live in small town in 'small' everyone-knows-each-other county. I don't think our teachers can afford to be so precious. Bump into them plenty.

Yes, I'm sure you do. I live in a county where I might at any time bump into a student. I have to behave with propriety (not that I don't generally do this). But when I go on holiday I want to drop my guard a bit. It's natural.

owlofathena · 09/08/2018 08:58

Not an over reaction. As pp have said Its so difficult having to put on your teacher persona in real life as even though I'm the same person, I'm a lot more formal in the classroom. I find it difficult when I'm messing around in a supermarket with dh and we bump into kids from my class. We purposely shop in a different town now.

LadyPenelope68 · 09/08/2018 08:58

Definitely not an over-reaction. If you were a teacher you’d totally understand.

Thatssomebadhatharry · 09/08/2018 08:58

LML83 a colleague is VERY different to children in your class. A similar comparison would be clients your boss wants you to suck up to. You have to do this every day of the week for most of the year, and some are arseholes!

As a teacher she is meant to perform the role teacher, and I mean perform in the acting sense. This is maintained whenever the children are around and not always compatible with real life. Teachers are seen as never getting drunk, never swearing, wearing sensible clothes etc by the kids in their charge. This role is exhausting and we all have to let our hair down sometimes teacher or not. She deserves and needs a holiday.

Uncreative · 09/08/2018 08:58

I’d feel uncomfortable and struggle to relax. If I could leave without losing money, I would. If I could leave and only lose a little money, I probably would.

idontknowwhattosay · 09/08/2018 09:00

Totally understand her. I would do the same. I would be concerned about having to watch my behaviour 24/7
As a staff we went on a end of term night out to the races, a parent saw us, her child wasn't there, but she put in a complaint that she had witnessed us drinking.

musicinspring1 · 09/08/2018 09:01

I’m a teacher and agree it would completely change the dynamic of the holiday. If I left or not would depend on a number of factors - how many days left / abroad or Uk/ if that was my only holiday this year / what the family was like etc etc etc !

Effic · 09/08/2018 09:02

Definitely leave.

I actually had a parent lodge a formal complaint on the first day of term because they felt a teacher “had been unkind, dismissive and rude”’to their child when they had ended up at the same holiday destination. Apparently, the teacher was unreasonable for not engaging in conversation EVERY day with the child because the child “just wanted to tell their teacher about their day.”
Another member of staff who found themselves at the same resort as one family was asked to “keep an eye on the kids while they are in the pool while we get some lunch” And parents were pissed off a d had a go at the teacher when she said no!

LML83 · 09/08/2018 09:04

@idonthaveatattoo

I am aware I am not a teacher. I am surprised that any teacher would be so uncomfortable they would cancel a holiday. My mum was a teacher and would never have done this as me, my sister and my dad would miss out.

There is nobody I could meet on holiday I couldn't be civil to/ignore. Completely understand it isn't ideal, but surprised anyone would leave over it.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/08/2018 09:04

I've got a couple of friends who are teachers at local schools. We never meet for a drink locally, always go to the next town at least. They both say they cant relax and let their hair down with a few wines if little Johnnys Mum is counting the units opposite.

LinoleumBlownapart · 09/08/2018 09:05

No that's uncomfortable. Not an over reaction at all.

I live in a small town, so I bump into students or my children's teachers every time I leave the house. But I wouldn't want to be at the same hotel as any of them.

LML83 · 09/08/2018 09:05

Its probably a sign of how many nightmare parents/pupils there are around now.

idonthaveatattoo · 09/08/2018 09:06

People have explained it to you. It isn’t about whether you are civil or not.

SimonBridges · 09/08/2018 09:09

Not an over reaction.
You wouldn’t be able to relax at all. It does rather depend on the age of the kids and the parents though. It’s different if the children are 5 or 15, or if the parents are looking for a chance to gossip to other parents.

I recently declined meeting up with friends in the park as I know they are dreadful pissheads and the chances of some kids from school walking past was too high.

Pengggwn · 09/08/2018 09:10

Effic

Shock

I think parents should read the the thread and take note. If teachers are so roundly negative about seeing them in 'real life' (note - not just running into their child but actually spending time around the family), why is that?

mydogishot · 09/08/2018 09:12

Really? Is this a thing?

We see teachers from the local schools everywhere!
Supermarket, gym, pubs etc. Is it any different?

Figlessfig · 09/08/2018 09:14

My xh is a teacher. When we were together we went on holiday to Spain and a pupil and family were in the next door villa. There were hedges between us, but not very high, so everyone could see everyone else.

Xh was mildly peeved at first, but when the parents were perfectly nice and didn’t start any chats about “little Johnny’s progress in Maths”, and little Johnny himself was very polite, and well-behaved, he settled down and was fine.

Two things might have made this experience different from that of the op and others. First, this was 2005, so before Instagram/Snapchat came along. Also, xh is male, and couldn’t care less who saw him in swimming trunks or downing a can of beer.

SnugglySnerd · 09/08/2018 09:14

I'm a teacher. I'd feel the same especially the thought of pics of me in my swimwear on social media.

Pengggwn · 09/08/2018 09:15

mydogishot

Yes. I don't get my boobs out in the supermarket. I don't drink wine, beer or cocktails in the supermarket. I don't use bad language in the supermarket. I don't tell my husband when he is being an arsehole in the supermarket.

Relaxing and being absolutely yourself on holiday is not an unreasonable need once a year.

serbska · 09/08/2018 09:15

I don't think it is an over reaction.

Especially when you are quite stressed about work, having a reminder of work on your holiday can be devastating.

Would you feel able to relax with you boss in the same hotel?

TheLadyArmitage · 09/08/2018 09:19

I personally don't get this - what's the harm in polite chit chat for a minute or so and then moving on, the parents specifically telling the kids that they shouldn't bother the teacher as he / she is on holiday.
Holidays cost too much to ditch halfway through! Confused