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Original poster

To think this was an overreaction by teacher

304 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/08/2018 08:39

One of my Friend's is a teacher and was supposed to be away for a few days. I was surprised to bump into her yesterday and she rolled her eyes and said two kids from her class had turned up at the same hotel so she insisted to her husband that they leave.

She said she wouldn't be able to relax, use the hotel swimming pool and changing room, have a drink etc without looking over her shoulder, and neither did she want parents coming over to talk about their kid's progress while she was on holidays.

Would most teachers feel like this or was that an over reaction?

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 12/08/2018 13:55

Oh I get that. I was just responding to the poster who said pupils aren't excluded for doing things to teachers! But the stats show they do happen. I get it's a long way down a very bumpy road and teachers put up with masses of crap. But they aren't permanent and perpetual victims who never see eventual justice.

pieceofpurplesky · 12/08/2018 14:25

I have had a table thrown at me, been pushed, knocked over as well as being told to fuck off, suck cock etc on a regular basis. Most colleagues have had the same - not one child has been excluded

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2018 15:11

youarenotkiddingme

It was a general statement.

And I was claiming that teachers where "permanent and perpetual victims"

Using the figures that you supplied 330 pupils were perm excluded for assault against an adult another 5000+ pupils didn't

For assault against pupils 960 perm excluded against another possible 48,600+

and these are only the ones that get put in fixed term or perm exclusions. It doesn't include any information about the pupils that didn't get that far or had a managed move.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 12/08/2018 15:36

I'm not a teacher but I work in a Secondary School (in a safeguarding role) and this is my worst nightmare. I wouldn't be able to wear a bikini, have a drink, be affectionate with DH etc without worrying about photos/videos ending up on snapchat or the parents hoiking up their judgey pants.
Going home wouldn't really be an option for me as it wouldn't be fair on my own DC, but I would do my damnedest to find alternative accommodation and if I couldn't then it would completely ruin my enjoyment of the holiday.

Firtreefir · 12/08/2018 15:40

I'm a teacher, and this is the reason that my family only holiday in individual, self catered villas, never in resorts.

LuluJakey1 · 12/08/2018 19:00

I wouldn't put myself or DH - also a teacher- in a position where teenagers we taught and their parents could take pictures, post them, comment on social media about anything we were doing. We would leave immediately if we found ourselves near any teenagers we taught ot were from our schools.
I have a friend whose honeymoon was snapped and posted by the parents of a teenager eg 'Mr X having a drink- 4th beer of the night' kind of thing. They thought it was a bit of fun and were really upset when the Head called them in in September to speak to them about it- apparently teachers have no sense of humour,

youarenotkiddingme · 12/08/2018 19:57

I wasn't posting the stats to argue. Hmm

Someone upthread replied to my suggestion that a SM policy for kids exists in the same way for staff and exclusion is included as a result and they said it wouldn't work as pupils are rarely excluded for acts towards teachers.
I'd just said the latest stats didn't seem to support that. I haven't analysed them though.

My own child has asd and had behaved in a way that's been awful for teachers (not violence but verbal). Even then I had to fight tooth and nail to get him the required EHCP and stated clearly in application it's not about whether teacher can deal with him alone - but whether the other students were learning at the same time and the teachers were left able to teach effectively after having to deal with it and whether they should have to deal with it as t shows he's not properly supported. I made it clear I didn't think they weren't supporting him but that they couldn't support him AND everyone else.

HateIsNotGood · 12/08/2018 20:11

My worst holiday nightmare would be seeing a Teacher or other staff member that worked in my son's school in the same place we are in...I'd be thinking bloody hell I'm on holiday and escaping the likes of you. You'll be judging me on (blah, blah) or most likely not.

Once we have both ended up unavoidably meeting (after we had both really tried to not bump into each other), I would instantly state my declaration that I was on Holiday just as Teacher/School Person was, we should agree to enjoy our respective holidays and that yes, Life can be funny sometimes.

Buggered if I would cancel my holiday and if a teacher did because I was there, I would consider them deranged.

Jezzifishie · 12/08/2018 20:33

This thread has just reminded me of the time I went to youth group, which was in a house with a shared garden. Normally we never ventured outside, but for whatever reason that day we did. I bumped into my French teacher sunbathing topless. I thought it was hilarious and had a good giggle, but looking back she must have been mortified. Sorry Miss M!

WittyFuck · 12/08/2018 21:18

Imagine all those embarrassing 'caught at the wrong moment' pics of celebrities x 1000000 going around every type of social media before you teach a tough Year 11 group. I wouldn't be bothered by parents, or even the kids but would leave immediately.

Kolo · 12/08/2018 21:50

I wouldn’t love the idea of finding myself at the same hotel/resort as my kids’ teachers, but it’s nowhere near the same as finding myself at the same resort as kids I teach. It’s not about parents or kids coming to say hello; I’ll gladly have a little chat with them when I bump into them in the supermarket or in town. The big difference between being the parent and the teacher is that my professionalism could be called into question, and it could have repercussions for my work. It would take one photo of me sunbathing or having a drink for me to suffer professionally.

Not on a holiday, but during a 6th form ball, I was filmed without my knowledge on the coach home, joining in with a sing song. I’d had a couple of glasses of wine, as had some of the 6th formers, all being 18 by that point. The video was edited with captions about how drunk I was, how embarrassing I was and put on YouTube. I was called in to see the Head, the deputy, I had to have meetings with the boy who’d uploaded the video and his parents. It was eventually removed, and I carried on working at the school, but it was a really stressful time and very humiliating that the children I taught, parents and, even worse for me, my boss, seeing this video. This wasn’t during a holiday, but a school social event that I’d given up my evening to supervise for. I never volunteered to supervise the leavers ball again because it left such a bad taste.

So I don’t think it’s an overreaction to leave the holiday, or find alternative accommodation. It’s not the same situation for the parents of the child.

Nononannette · 12/08/2018 22:05

Hateisnotgood I think you need to read the thread and then you will see plenty of good reasons why a teacher might worry about this, deranged indeed Hmm

HateIsNotGood · 12/08/2018 22:33

I gave up reading way up thread - too many teachers agreeing with each other about why they would leave their holiday.

My mum was a teacher for decades - a lot of people are - I still think it 'deranged', mad or rather mostly stupid to leave your holiday because someone that you come across in your working life happens to be holidaying at the same destination as you.

That's my position and really that won't change.

So carry on, as you were....

Nononannette · 12/08/2018 23:04

Yawn. Your mum was not a teacher at a time of snapchat and instagram.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2018 23:15

My mum was a teacher for decades

Its amazing how people forget that social media is relatively new.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2018 23:16

Nononannette

X post :)

LuluJakey1 · 12/08/2018 23:26

This is how social media works with some teenagers. Teacher has Facebook account- closed to public view. Receives friend request from account name of member of staff, picture is of member of staff. Accepts request. Their photos and comments are then copied and posted. Account was made up by student.

Sparklyshoes16 · 13/08/2018 02:08

My friend who was on a private adult only beach in the Caribbean topless sunbathing with her husband heard a click and an "alright miss" the tour operator luckily supported my friend as the Y9 child should never have been there but the family didn't listen and allowed their children on that part of the beach Hmm after a very heated conversation with parents and the hotel the pics were deleted!

It ruined my friends once in a lifetime very expensive trip though. They managed to move to a different adults only resort to another part of the island but said she hates the fact that she's on edge and can't relax normally even when she's out at home in restaurants because she's a Teacher!

I have bumped into kids locally usually when in the supermarket and the parents have a good nosey in my trolley Grin and once in Cornwall (got an ice cream out of the parents Smilefor all the hard work I'd put in with their child before exam season) this I don't mind but to be on holiday in a non touristy place and kids rock up I wouldn't be happy with especially if it's adults only...I know my husband was certainly not happy when we attended his colleagues wedding in the South of France and in the room next door was a child (Husbands colleagues Neice) I taught who was in year 8...it was meant to be a lovely few days away and some much needed stress free catch up intimacy time...the child who I didn't know that well and only taught for half a term was obsessed with taking pics of us. She was also in the room next to ours (we tried to get loved but the hotel was fully booked) with her older sister so everything we had planned went out of the window Grin

On the night of the wedding I was slow dancing with my husband and we were a bit tipsy...he was twirling me around and tipped me backwards...When I got back to the table someone had took my chair so I sat on my husbands knee for a little bit and then we decided to go to bed as we're such lightweights...the next morning I got a few messages asking if I'd seen social media from a couple of colleagues that have children at the school...the girl had uploaded photos of me with my husband! I spoke to the parents who at first were a bit Hmm when I asked for her to remove them as I don't want my personal time being viewed by students I teach...Luckily I had a lovely Head at the time and gave him the heads up...he could see there wasn't anything massively untoward and could see it was a Wedding we were at...but most importantly we're human beings and we're letting our hair down.

When I returned my year 11s were very complimentary and said I should dress like that more often (a Coast dress and heels) and not just in 'teacher' clothes I look prettier ConfusedBlush

She was definitely not over reacting it's really hard when you're in a profession such as Teaching and you're being scrutinised for the tiniest of things!

colosseum · 13/08/2018 04:09

Leaving is precious and clearly a massive over reaction.

I understand why they'd rather the children weren't there though.

I'm a teacher.

Topseyt · 13/08/2018 07:08

Hate, my parents were teachers for decades too. They would certainly have considered doing this, or at least trying to move accommodation (most likely option) if possible.

They were well before the era of social media. They would just have been very uncomfortable being in the same place as someone they taught and would have gone into damage limitation mode.

CaptainBrickbeard · 13/08/2018 08:13

Sparkly, what astonishes me from your post is that in both examples the parents of the child taking pictures were affronted by a request to delete them - how on earth could they justify their child taking photos of a teacher without knowledge or consent and sharing them? Why did they think the pictures shouldn’t have to be deleted? What is wrong with them??

Sparklyshoes16 · 13/08/2018 11:37

@CaptainBrickbeard it was just bizarre I explained to the girl why it was inappropriate and asked her to put herself in my shoes and would she like it but she was very immature and quite frankly so were the parents!

My husband was starting to really lose his patience as the parents were basically saying "o it's just a bit of fun and I can't 'police' everything" Hmmluckily my husbands colleague had heard what happened and told his brother to delete them (we didn't know of the connection else I probably wouldn't have gone...it was also meant to be a child free Wedding!!). Husbands colleague was mortified and we felt awful as it was his morning after Wedding breakfast but it was all done in private and he was quite annoyed that children were at the wedding as he didn't want any there so adults could relaxConfused

With my friend who went to the Caribbean, apparently the beach that she was on was nicer and the family resort 2 miles down the beach was over crowded Hmmthey had paid a heck of a lot for an all inclusive adults only paradise thing and was assured no children...the family had snuck through the hotel and onto the beach. Their attitude was well she shouldn't be sunbathing like that (it's a private adults only beach)! The parents just shrugged their shoulders and eventually backed down and got their son to delete the pics luckily my friend was savvy enough to make sure they weren't in the cloud too.

The kid always sniggers and she gets evils off the parents when they see her in school, luckily she doesn't teach him at all now.

echt · 13/08/2018 13:24

The kid always sniggers and she gets evils off the parents when they see her in school

Why is your friend allowing herself to be bullied?

Sparklyshoes16 · 13/08/2018 13:40

@echt she's not...she picks her battles...she sees at as she was on holiday in an appropriate place they were not so their problem not hers!

They can snigger and give evils as much as they like it's just entitled parents who are idiots...plus she got the upper hand by being upgraded to first class on the way home at the expense of the holiday company (which the parents don't know Wink) so every time she sees them she just smiles sweetly and carries on!

CaptainBrickbeard · 13/08/2018 14:40

I just think a normal person and decent parent would be ashamed of their child taking photos of someone unconsenting and most especially topless full stop! Teacher or not. If they shrug their shoulders over their 13/14 year old son taking photos of topless women on the beach then they are incredibly shitty parents!