To think this was an overreaction by teacher

[Lydiaatthebarre]

One of my Friend's is a teacher and was supposed to be away for a few days. I was surprised to bump into her yesterday and she rolled her eyes and said two kids from her class had turned up at the same hotel so she insisted to her husband that they leave.

She said she wouldn't be able to relax, use the hotel swimming pool and changing room, have a drink etc without looking over her shoulder, and neither did she want parents coming over to talk about their kid's progress while she was on holidays.

Would most teachers feel like this or was that an over reaction?

@idonthaveatattoo your tone isn't very civil.

I understand why some teachers feel like that and expressed surprise.

I’m not sure I would have left but I would have felt very uncomfortable the entire time. The idea of having to speak to a parent/child from school while I’m in a bikini holding an alcoholic beverage is horrifying.

The biggest worry (in secondary) would be photos circulated of you in bikini/having a drink etc. Once they were out, it would cause a lot of hassle back at work in September and could be very upsetting.

I have heard cases such as a parent in primary finding pictures of staff on a hen do that had been put on FB (not by the staff, by their non-teaching friends who didn’t have privacy locked down). The parent printed the pictures of the teachers drinking and pole dancing like a lot of people do on hen dos and stuck them up all the way around the school fence for everyone to see at morning drop off. Some parents are that crazily offended by teachers having a life outside school.

I couldn’t afford to cancel a holiday and drag my family home, but it would be a very worrying occurrence and would definitely inhibit the holiday and create awkward self-consciousness if the pupil or their parents didn’t understand the boundaries and were likely to take photos.

I hadn’t really thought about it before but I do understand it must be v awkward. We once stayed at same hotel as DDs teacher for a weekend and were pleased to make small talk for a few mins but then made sure to avoid. DD was thrilled to see her. We did explain at the time to DD that she mustn’t talk to her friends about it other than to say she was there as it wouldn’t be fair on teacher.

I bumped into a parent at a the local hospital once when going in to have reduced movement checked at 23 weeks pregnanct. Absolutely terrified then had to do the obligatory ‘hi, how’re you?’. You’re under pressure to be professional at all times

Not a teacher, but don’t think it’s an overreaction. I work in a professional job requiring me to be on a register, and if my boss was at the same hotel as me I’d feel a little awkward. Wouldn’t change how I dressed etc, but I’d feel under pressure not to be seen too drunk or heard complaining about work or swearing too much etc. I wouldn’t leave, because it wouldn’t be that big a deal though. I can’t imagine being a teacher and also having to think about how children or their parents might perceive you.

For older kids with phones, you have to worry about pictures and videos. You in your swimwear, drunk, kissing your partner, swearing, talking about work, doing things you tell students off for in class. With younger kids, I guess it’s more just being bothered by them gravitating towards you, or their parents wanting to chat with you. Although if a parent saw you drunk or not behaving as they’d expect in a classroom, you might become playground gossip in September.

I certainly sympathise with teachers. Most I know use middle name as surname on social media, and don’t go out locally if there will be any alcohol involved.

In fact, google Daily Mail teachers on a hen party and you will see how some parents view teachers enjoying themselves outside of school! It’s an article from 2011 in which the teachers are named and shamed for going on a hen do. It’s easy to imagine what those parents would make of seeing a teacher having a cocktail in the pool on holiday!

Oh crikey, I totally understand why she would have left. I wouldn’t be able to have a drink, or go for a swim, lots of normal things you’d like to do on holiday. I’d be so paranoid that pictures of me would end up on social media. Totally different to bumping into your kids at the supermarket, or the cinema, or in the chippy.

Not an overreaction. In her mind, every second of her holiday could have been broadcast to snapchat and reported into whatsapp group. Sneaky pics of her in a bikini, gossip about her relationship with her husband etc

My aunt is a teacher and she has had people spreading all sorts of rumours about her and her kids (my cousins) at her school after a non-eventful, normal public outing. Kids are just cruel and love to stir shit about teachers public lives.

I think one of the problems is that some people don't realise how unreasonable some other people can be. As a teacher, I don't know by looking at Mr. and Mrs X whether they are the sort of people who are going to respect my privacy and the fact that I am not at work, I am on holiday, or whether they are the sort of people who are going to see me order a third glass of Sauvignon at the pool-side bar and report me to my boss because I am being a poor role model. I have no way of knowing.

Same with the kids. I might know them well, but I don't really. Every time they look at their phone I will be imagining a picture of my bum crack when climbing out of the pool being circulated in P3 Textiles and I'll be cringing.

There are parents who I still actively dodge in the supermarket, years after I stopped teaching their children. The thought of having certain families on holiday fills me with genuine horror. Too right I'd leave!

Not an over-reaction at all. And for those that don’t get it because they had parents who were teachers, I started teaching in the early 80s, and things were very different back then. Social media didn’t exist, and CF parents and children were few and far between.
What is apparent to me from this thread is how few parents understand that teaching requires a huge amount of acting and consistently professional behaviour. You are not seeing the truth, you are seeing a mask.On a holiday, teachers like to remove the mask without consequences. Sometimes the change is very little, sometimes the real person is very different.

Never really considered this, but I understand the teachers reaction perfectly.

They simply wouldn't have been able to relax, even if they never spoken to by the pupil or their parents.

Teachers DO have a separate work and private life persona. It is reasonably unique in that sense and happens for very good reasons. Effectively ' being on holiday' with your pupils would cross so many boundaries.

One of our close neighbours is a teacher at the local school , and whereas my DC is not in their class, I can still imagine the teacher feels wary about her out of school life being observed by parents and a pupil on a regular basis. I guess it is why teachers tend not to live in the area that they teach in.

Not an over reaction, because quite frankly parents make being a teacher the worst job ever.

If I see you in Tesco with little Johnny then fine say hi. However, parents try and chat about progress, forward planning, exam prep, homework etc. While eating out they either send little johnny over, or don’t stop him from constantly coming over to the table.

Yes 💯% agree that the stress is from potential complaints, miss has a tatto, miss said a bad word, miss has drank 20 tequila’s and is dancing on the table.

I had a teacher see me in the gym and get a Skype call on the go so I could see her husband :o.

My teacher persona is for the classroom. My holiday is for me.

So if I could I’d leave instantly in this circumstance.

I agree with a previous poster... so many teachers are saying this is a nightmare situation and the reasons are similar. So @ladyarmitage consider why this is. Also, no I do not want to have a polite 5 minute talk. I want to relax

I would have left if secondary. Maybe not so much primary.

I once got snap chatted by a year 11 eating a McDonald’s in Trafford centre, and they replaced my big mac with a cock 😂. So I would never spend two weeks swimming ina bikini, around a pupil.

I think it totally depends on the parent tbh. If you're a normal parent with appropriate boundaries, you may not realise that other parents have weird beliefs about how teachers should act. 99% of the parents I come across are fab; however in my career I've:

• had a parent pull over while I was waiting for a bus on a Saturday to discuss something to do with their child that they were unhappy about.
• A parent complain to my head that I wouldn't engage in a discussion about their child's SEN - I was shopping in wilkos with my own kids when she tried to initiate the chat.
• a parent approach me at a mutual friend's funeral to complain that I was allowed the time off to attend the funeral.
• a parent approach me in McDonalds (while I was unsuccessfully trying to control my own brood) to ask if I could keep an eye on their two children while they just pop to a couple more shops.
• A colleague also had a parent (who was a mutual friend of her sister's) print off pics of her wearing devil horns on her sister's hen do to show around the school yard.

I'm very tight so probably wouldn't cancel the holiday, but it would definitely stop me from enjoying it. As would the knowledge that by the time September comes half the kids in school will have seen a Snapchat of me in my primark bikini, yelling at the kids & downing a sangria.

I’d try to move hotel, if I could do so without incurring much additional cost.
True story: my colleague is featured on her university website (she graduated some years ago). It’s just a perfectly innocent photo of her in the student union, holding a glass of wine. This photo was screenshotted, WhatsApped to parents and a complaint made to school.
A fully dressed adult woman holding a glass of wine on a university website.
The idea of a photo of me in a bikini with a cocktail being shared on WhatsApp makes me feel sick.

A headteacher friend treated herself to membership of a very expensive health club, she didn't live anywhere near her school so was not expecting to hear a little voice say"hello Mrs headteacher" as she wandered around the changing room wrapped in a slightly inadequate towel.

Another friend met a pupil on the top of mount Etna, we were all furious that she hadn't taken full advantage of the situation as the child was a pita.

The only time it has happened to me was in a pizza restaurant, where the waitress said "didn't you used to be miss viques?"

Actually I tell a lie, the guy in qwick fit did my tyre for free, and gave me a hug. Bless.

I get it! I would have left too if possible. Holidays are supposed to be about relaxation...

I teach adults so it’s different in that we actually sometimes go for a drink with our classes at the end end of the year! If I taught children though, I would feel the same.

Smells like lazy journalism. The end of term reports, the teachers not answering emails in the summer break have come and gone.

Schools are out so let's bash the teachers on their holidays.

All the things a teacher is expected to do as part of their profession, including extreme care on Facebook can be undone by some arse with a phone.

I'd leave.

I once got snap chatted by a year 11 eating a McDonald’s in Trafford centre, and they replaced my big mac with a cock 😂. So I would never spend two weeks swimming ina bikini, around a pupil.

This is why!!! now imagine in a bikini, smearing on suncream...

Yes, I would have changed hotels and resorts.

Not an over reaction.

A friend of mine (teacher) was on a hen weekend on a Greek island many years ago and the parent of a really badly behaved girl was there and saw her briefly.

When she got back to school many months later she had to ring this mum about her daughter’s really rude behaviour. She got a tirade of abuse about how she saw her drunk and singing and it was disgraceful etc. It really upset her. Sometimes it’s not the kids it’s their parents.

As a teacher you want to relax and be yourself on holiday.

I would struggle to relax to be honest, I probably would not be able to change hotel because of finances.

Some if not many schools have a clause in their contract about not doing anything to bring the school into disrepute. One too many sangrias or a sneaky swimwear photo and your career could be over.