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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was an overreaction by teacher

304 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/08/2018 08:39

One of my Friend's is a teacher and was supposed to be away for a few days. I was surprised to bump into her yesterday and she rolled her eyes and said two kids from her class had turned up at the same hotel so she insisted to her husband that they leave.

She said she wouldn't be able to relax, use the hotel swimming pool and changing room, have a drink etc without looking over her shoulder, and neither did she want parents coming over to talk about their kid's progress while she was on holidays.

Would most teachers feel like this or was that an over reaction?

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 11/08/2018 12:18

I wouldn't worry too much about Rosetree7. Virtually every other person has managed to offer a view (with different opinions) without teacher bashing, or having to qualify their superior right to comment.

bridgetreilly · 11/08/2018 13:12

I wouldn't have left, but I might well have hidden in my room for the whole time and only swum in the hours when kids are banned from the pool. It really would ruin your holiday.

girlwithadragontattoo · 11/08/2018 13:43

My mum was a teacher.

She'd have felt like this, we used to go shopping in a bigger town sometimes to the supermarket and a few times we bumped into kids from her class. Teachers deserve a private life

claraschu · 11/08/2018 13:56

I think if society didn't create a situation where teachers felt like this, we would be living in a healthier world.

youarenotkiddingme · 11/08/2018 14:18

It seems that most discomfort comes from the birth of instant SM.

The fear of SC, FB, IG etc?

I do think schools need to look at SM policies extending, and being signed by pupils and their parents, like the ones staff have to sign. And make it an excludable offence for pupils.

Both my parents are teachers and I work in a school as an hlta.
My son also is part of a local club where a teacher is involved through his children.

I can totally understand why she felt she needed to leave. But teachers have a difficult job whereby they can only take holidays at the same time as pupils so something to make teachers fell more protected needs to be introduced.

ImAIdoot · 11/08/2018 14:20

I can completely understand this. I have had people from work rock up at the beginning of a holiday I really needed and basically ruin it.

Some parents are also under the impression that teachers are as invested in their kids as they are, which is frankly baffling - it's a job, and jobs have working hours that end, and holidays.

BoneyBackJefferson · 11/08/2018 14:23

youarenotkiddingme

I do think schools need to look at SM policies extending, and being signed by pupils and their parents, like the ones staff have to sign. And make it an excludable offence for pupils.

the problem is that although parents (and possibly pupils) would sign this, I doubt that it would have any legal standing and it would just see more 'sad face' pictures in the papers.

Lets be honest here, you can't exclude pupils for bullying, sexual harassment, being violent and creating web-pages about teachers there is no chance of them being excluded for this.

ImAIdoot · 11/08/2018 14:31

I can’t be arsed with teacher bashing. Some are, of course, shite as in any profession. But find a good teacher, an inspirational teacher who loves what they do and hasn’t had the oomph knocked out of them by wanky parents and arsehole kids yet and they can change a child’s life.

Yes, and even the terrible teachers demonstrate how important the job is, because it can have life-long consequences for pupils if you aren't sufficiently responsible and competent.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 11/08/2018 14:32

The schools my children attend have this policy, and it has been enforced. Just once that I know of, but a child has definitely been permanently excluded for this.
Could have been the last straw in escalating behavioural issues, who knows, but it was certainly the deciding factor.

TornFromTheInside · 11/08/2018 14:33

Good look with someone posting an image on 'my teacher's hot ass.com'

It's a nice idea, but unrealistic to expect people will adhere to a school's rules on posting such material.

TornFromTheInside · 11/08/2018 14:37

If a pupil is silly enough to post under their own name, they almost deserve to change schools for a better education!

However, proving who took a photo of you climbing out of a swimming pool is not that easy. Everybody would 'know' who - but proving it is another matter. In theory, it could have been anybody at the resort. And even if that pupil is caught and banned, your intimate, or unflattering bikini shot will be floating round for years.

hungrypanda2008 · 11/08/2018 14:51

I wouldn't like it. I don't go shopping in our local town because I taught at my school for so long I wouldn't even remember half the kids ie adults who be looking at me - not all will acknowledge you but you can hear them saying "Oh that's Mrs.. .." On a more sinister note, one kid spotted us with our daughter once. We hadn't realised. Then one day, this kid started talking about her..."I know where your daughter goes to school...."- he says the correct school which is miles from my work and we live far out of her schools catchment. Shes got curly hair" "she's tall, ....pretty, .....likes....." etc And other random (true) stuff to get a reaction. I ignored and said "what daughter?". I know the difference between curiosity and creepy power play.

roseblossom75 · 11/08/2018 14:56

Yes, and the same would apply vice versa.
If one of the children's teachers turned up on the same holiday I'd be out of there too!

TornFromTheInside · 11/08/2018 14:58

Fantastic example@hungrypanda2008
You wouldn't believe how many TA's and sometimes teachers are completely oblivious to how easy this is, esp via social media etc. For the large part, it's not a major issue, but it only takes one very troubled kid to cause some creepy upset.

It's far more common that kids just 'nosey' - but manage to find out quite a lot. 'Seen your boyfriend / husband / wife' or 'did you have a nice time at CenterParcs?' etc and a group of kids know more than you'd care for!

Crunchymum · 11/08/2018 15:02

Not a teacher but a parent and I would feel uncomfortable, I'd probably make the 5yo practice his phonics and maths (as opposed to let him run riot or have a tablet) just in case said teacher walked past Grin

drspouse · 11/08/2018 15:30

My DM was a teacher first in a rough comprehensive in the 80s and then as a home tutor for children who'd been excluded from that school and similar. The kind of house where you are afraid to go to the loo and she would be happy if her tyres weren't slashed by some dads. Once she gave a child an awful report and a colleague warned her the mum was the chief witch of the local coven (no spells were successful).
We used to go to places like rural France that nobody went to then so avoided pupils but my mum would have hated it!
My DS is hard to handle but we are sympathetic to that so wouldn't let him bother a teacher in the supermarket for example. I hadn't really thought about the bikini/not able to relax thing though as we'd be pleasant but avoid if in the same hotel. But now I can see why!

youarenotkiddingme · 11/08/2018 17:12

* Lets be honest here, you can't exclude pupils for bullying, sexual harassment, being violent and creating web-pages about teachers there is no chance of them being excluded for this.*

^ I find it interesting you say this because the latest exclusion statistics have just been released and these are all on their as reasons.

I've been looking at them because I'm considering how to start a campaign that racism is considered a separate offence but disablism and homophobia come under bullying - yet all equally are hate crimes.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2018 01:41

youarenotkiddingme

there will be reams of instances about bullying etc.
It certainly won't be for a first offence, and its more likely to be against other pupils than teachers as teachers seem to be far game.

echt · 12/08/2018 01:45

youarenotkiddingme

Do you have a link for these statistics?

ClumsyFool · 12/08/2018 02:11

I’m not a teacher but I absolutely get why a teacher would feel so uncomfortable, it would totally change the dynamic of their holiday.
I’m far less inhibited on holiday and would wear things for comfort that I might not wear at home and am hugely self conscious of my appearance, moreso around people I know. If someone from real life appeared on holiday I wouldn’t feel comfortable in swimwear etc. This must be ten times worse for teachers as I imagine you would also feel self conscious about behaviour and being on show with everything you did.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 12/08/2018 04:29

Not a teacher but a nanny for many years, and while this wouldn't have made me leave it would have changed my behavior and just be on alert all the time.

I once bumped into the parent of another child in the child I nannied for's nursery class. On a weekend off, in town miles away from work, having a drink with mates, nicely tipsy with no work the next day. The mum felt the need to report this to my boss, that I was drunk and loud and with a large group of drunk people- I was tipsy and lively in a beer garden in Camden with friends and their partners, and a few children. Thankfully my boss just said nothing and laughed it off with me later, but if she had been one of the stricter bosses I've had I would have definitely lost my job. This wasn't even a person I'd worked for, literally only spoke to her as part of the group at the school gates, but to her I was 'X's nanny' and not a human person with a life. I could most definitely see her reporting any behavior she saw as un-nanny-like if we met on holiday!

It really just isn't the kids that could be an issue, posting pictures and such, but the parents too. I was stopped in a supermarket when I worked in a nursery and pointedly asked to have a word with the child for still having a dummy- I'm carrying a chicken I don't want to offer parenting advice or discipline your child! I had to stop and talk about it as I knew they bring it up with my boss if I hadn't and I didn't want to deal with that, they were that kind of parent.

youarenotkiddingme · 12/08/2018 06:10

Very interesting table. This is the overall one but it's very clear there is a greater exclusion rate overall for acts against teachers than other pupils except where it's violence in secondary school. But I imagine that's because it's more common for children to fight in this age bracket?

youarenotkiddingme · 12/08/2018 06:11

This is the ones broken down to la https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/726727/laatablesexc1617.xlsx

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/08/2018 11:10

It is an interesting table but there are only two columns that are definitively adult based, the others are down to perception.

Persistent disruptive behaviour could mean anything and not necessarily aimed at a teacher,

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