When a stranger asks to hold your baby...

[Katrina12]

Met a friend for coffee and cake this afternoon with my 8 month old... DS is very friendly and sociable and the lady serving our table took quite a shine to him. She kept 'popping back' to check we were ok and to smile and wave at DS. I am very sociable myself and as DS is such a smiler I often getting chatting to people out and about which I am more than happy to do... however, this lady wouldn't leave us alone and persisted to keep coming back for well over an hour. Not only was this annoying as I had not seen my friend in months (who had driven for over an hour to see us), but I was trying to feed DS and she kept distracted him which eventually led to a meltdown in the middle of the cafe. Finally as I was picking him up from his high chair to put him in his pram she came over and held her hands out and asked if she could hold him... I found this totally inappropriate. In my shock my mind went absolutely blank and I rather abruptly just blurted out 'no you cannot' - I am usually a very polite easy going person, but I was so shocked by her request and I guess instinct just kicked. AIBU to feel this was an inappropriate request of this woman? What would you have said/done?

So to back up the claim that children are snatched every day and that it is dangerous to let strangers in cafes have a little hold, you come up with a bungled car theft and a horrific attack on a woman and a baby in their own home that resulted in murder.

Both utterly horrible- but completely unrelated.

In the African culture it is very acceptable and in fact, in most cases, it would seem odd if one didn't show interest in trying to have a go at holding the baby

Katrina12, I don't blame you for not wanting strangers holding or kissing on your baby. I agree that it's really not a safe thing to do in this day and age. Your child could be subjected to not only germs but also diseases with horrific consequences. In case you haven't heard of this cautionary tail there is a woman in the UK by the name of Claire Henderson who allowed a visitor to hold her one month old.

What's the first thing you are compelled to do when you hold a newborn in your arms? You want to give it a little kiss, right? Well, this person who held Ms. Henderson's baby had herpes. She didn't show any signs that could have been a warning to Ms Henderson and as a result the baby ended up contracting herpes from that woman. If you haven't read or seen the pictures about it then check out www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/baby-herpes-risks?utm_term=.etEZoyZ8J#.su9JMkJLV There are numerous articles on people asking to hold a baby and while the mother's attention was distracted for a split second...they disappeared with her baby.

As far as what to say to people who ask? A simple "No" is really all that is needed. After all, it is your responsibility to keep your child safe. It's not your responsibility to cushion other's feelings. But if you aren't comfortable just saying no, because heaven knows women are the nurturers of humankind, then just tell them, for health reasons, you'd rather not. You should never feel conjoled into letting anyone hold your baby if you don't want them to. Including family, friends or strangers.

@BertrandRussell

As I already said (for some reason you need things repeated a lot!) It is not particularly relevant to this thread but I was asked to provide evidence of any children being abducted in the last 5 years, yes horrific but if people weren't so demanding of proof when someone disagrees with them then I wouldn't have posted. The fact that you refuse to believe that it happens is a bit disrespectful to the people it has happened to.

@BertrandRussell

At no point did I say it happened every day either, what an over reaction.

For you to completely deny that people ever snatch babies is very ignorant indeed. As I said just because you don't hear about it does not mean it doesn't happen. Very strange for people to think, well I've never heard of a child being snatched I'm this situation so it won't happen. Like I said there are no rules when it comes to these types of things.

You're famous @katrina12.