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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have kicked them out?

261 replies

upsideup · 07/08/2018 16:24

Friend has gone on holiday for the first time without her 14 and 16 year old dd's, they didn't want to be left home alone overnight so we agreed they could stay here. We were told that they would be no bother, would be out with friends or in their own house all day and we didn't need to provide meals as they had money to get their own (though we said we didn't mind giving them food), basically we were just giving them a bed in our house to sleep in.

They got here Saturday evening and are sharing dd2's room who was away but back tonight and was planning on sharing with DD1 for the rest of the week. They had trashed her room within an few hours of getting here, gone through all of her stuff, chucked her clothes onto the floor and just made a mess. We had to take out all of dd's private/precious stuff out of the room so they couldn't go through it or destroy it anymore. DD has an en suite, I told them to keep and use their makeup in there as the bedroom has white walls and a white carpet. I looked last night and both their makeup bags were on the white carpet surrounded by loads of makeup stains and there's also what I hope is makeup smeared down the wall. The bathroom and bedroom are just an absolute mess.

They didn't got out at all Sunday or Monday day and just stayed in dds room watching TV, they've helped themselves to food and refused any of the meals I've offered to cook them and have just ordered themselves takeaways to eat in dd's bedroom even though I asked them to eat it downstairs. Whenever I have tried to talk to them they've been blunt and rude, when my kids have tried to speak to them they have been rude to them, they swore at my 4 year old because he was annoying them. When physically fighting with each other in front of 3 year they accidentally pushed her over onto the bench and cut her lip.

They went out last night and came back at 11pm with alcohol and several friends , who we didn't let. It would take to long to list all the things they've done wrong but they've just been a nightmare. So when they got up today at half two I told them to go home, they started to apologise but quickly started getting really angry and stormed out without most of their stuff. I'm not planning on letting them back in here but friend has said to please let them back, that I can't take back my offer and leave them home alone.

I'm not being unreasonable to have kicked them out, am I?
They're not small kids and will hopefully fine, although they probably will trash friends house which I do feel bad about.

OP posts:
pieceofpurplesky · 07/08/2018 19:42

What a woman! She leaves her kids, locks them out of their home, goes on holiday and lies to a friend.
Although what the kids did is wrong it is their mother to blame

Redrunbluerun · 07/08/2018 19:46

Sorry if I’ve it, has she gone abroad? She needs to come home and deal with her children!

Mousefunky · 07/08/2018 19:47

It’s completely not your responsibility. Your friend shouldn’t have left them alone since they’re clearly not responsible or mature enough to be left. They have behaved despicably and I sincerely hope your friends have profusely apologised on their behalf.

Definitely don’t let them back in.

FlotSHAMnJetson · 07/08/2018 20:08

They can call a lock smith and get the locks changed, mother is a CF, beyond outrageous behaviour

Stompythedinosaur · 07/08/2018 20:23

Their mother needs to provide other accommodation! They have injured your children. She can book a cheap hotel for them if she must.

Totally outrageous behaviour!

hairbrushhead · 07/08/2018 20:23

100% let the mother call a locksmith out. As if she’s going to pay you anything for damages if she’s had you like this already.
Also the likeliness of further damage is pretty high imo. They’ll survive until your ‘friend’ is home. and that’s all you really need to know. They’ll survive.

ClemDanfango · 07/08/2018 20:34

Where is the rest of their family? Aunts uncles grandparents etc? There must be someone else that can take them. If not drop at the local station and don’t look back.

Ariclock · 07/08/2018 20:41

Have the girls showed up op?

PotteryLady · 07/08/2018 20:45

They will have to pay for a locksmith to get them in and your friend will have to pay. She's a CF the kind you read about in the paper who swan off on holiday and leave their kids - Jeremy Kyle fodder!

NewUserNameTime · 07/08/2018 20:47

YANBU

upsideup · 07/08/2018 20:48

The girls are in their house with their auntie who presumably had a key, I took their stuff round there and they both said they were sorry.

OP posts:
NewUserNameTime · 07/08/2018 20:49

That's good. So is the Auntie going to stay/keep an eye on them?

CharlieandLolaCat · 07/08/2018 20:50

That is good and I am glad that someone else is taking responsibility for them OP.

LeftRightCentre · 07/08/2018 20:52

Hope you get rid of this so-called friend. She's a CF user.

Iloveacurry · 07/08/2018 20:53

She’s no friend. She’s happy for them to stay and trash your house, but lied about them being in their own home during the day because she didn’t want her own house being trashed! She’s a user. Why couldn’t they stay with their aunt in the first place anyway?

Makemineboozefree · 07/08/2018 21:00

Why didn't they stay in the care of their aunt in the first place??

Hushnownobodycares · 07/08/2018 21:04

She won't let them into her house but is happy to pay for whatever they trash in yours?

Do not believe this CF. She knew exactly what would happen and planned for you to take the fallout.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/08/2018 21:04

The girls are in their house with their auntie who presumably had a key

Thank goodness for that!!

Funny, isn't it, how a key can be sourced when it really comes down to it? Hmm

upsideup · 07/08/2018 21:05

No idea if Aunt was asked originally or not but she didnt look too pleased to have to be there, if she knows what they're like she probably would have said no.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 07/08/2018 21:07

Hope you're going to present your ex friend with a massive bill.

Hushnownobodycares · 07/08/2018 21:07

So CF had plan B all along? Shock

The woman has more neck than a herd of giraffes.

Hushnownobodycares · 07/08/2018 21:09

Or even giraffe Wink

NaomiNagata · 07/08/2018 21:11

Either she wasn't pleased to be there, or she wasn't pleased with you. She might have been told that you'd just kicked them out and left them with no where to go etc.

The mum clearly knows what they are like; and wouldn't leave them to ruin her home but was happy for them to ruin yours. I'd cut and run from that friendship if I were you.

LexieLulu · 07/08/2018 21:19

I am shocked at these kids mother!

Did you tell aunt what they'd done?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 07/08/2018 21:23

I'd have to text or email the CF friend saying how hurt I am that my friendship was taken advantage of as their Aunt was able to supervise them. I'd also say how disappointed I am that my hospitality was abused and that my home was damaged and my child was injured. Their behaviour is disgusting and not what you would expect from a 14 and 16 year old. You will not be extending an invite to stay again and you will send CF friend the bill for carpet cleaning etc. when you have received a quote.
She may have thought that going away was going to be a break but if she locks her own kids out of their own house she must have had some inkling that they were prone to do things like that.

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